Scott77: With all due respect, I beg to disagree with you. I'm sure these elders know how to keep their mouth shut when speaking would damage them or the Mother organization.
Elders breaking Confidentiality - I want this thread to be dirtyy
by usualusername 50 Replies latest jw friends
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Iamallcool
dgp, you have never been a witness. I beg to disagree with you. I have seen it all as a JW for many years since birth.
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smiddy
My bloody oath they did,I can testify to that,but then if I did, I would be breaking confidentiality.
smiddy
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Glander
The thread title indicates an interest in being titillated.
I think titillation is the fuel that drives the human proclivity for gossip.
I have recounted several experiences here that involved nice people who were deeply hurt by their confidences being broken after talking to a trusted elder/friend. Just another example of the Jehovah's Witnesses brand of brotherly "love".
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Pistoff
Elders version of confidentiality is different in principle than real clergy. Real clergy actually are committed to NEVER telling anyone what you confide in them, except in certain cases where they are legally bound. The idea is you are able to get the benefit of confessing with no fear of your confessed issue becoming public knowledge.
Elders say they hold confidences, but in reality their main function when hearing 'confessions' is JUDICIAL. Their intent is to prosecute the sin, and so they will bring in a committee, think about it, a COMMITTEE! Your confession is now heard by 3 men, who may tell more people in New York what you did, and possibly the CO.
That is even before they gossip about it to other elders in your own hall and other halls.
My brother lives many states away, but used to go to the hall I was in. Years after he left he called me twice to tell me someone was going to be disfellowshipped in my hall, information he got from an elder friend of his weeks before it happened.
Years ago I learned my own lesson: I ASKED an elder if he could keep what I told him in confidence before I told him. He assured me he would. I tell him what I know.
Not 1/2 hour after I told him what I knew, I get a call from the CO about what I told the elder.
I called the elder back and said what about the confidentiality he promised? He said he didn't have a choice.
After that my policy was to tell elders nothing I didn't want spread, and never go into a JC without a recorder.
Elders make the kingdom hall experience much worse than it has to be. They are busybodies, little judges with little minds. The elders I ever dealt with lacked the courage to vote their conscience.
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dgp
I have never been a witness, but I wonder if any elder will speak about his sexual escapades, for example. Or if they will publicly say that they have a two-witness rule regarding child rape.
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00DAD
Let's review: Elders do not understand, use or mean the word "confidential" the way the rest of us do.
To them it means "Don't tell anyone anything, that's our job".
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LongHairGal
dgp:
Not to be mean or anything, but you are missing the point.
The elders do not CARE about the confidentiality or feelings of the rank and file witnesses. While every elder may not reveal confidences, you forget that there is a body of elders and if other elders spill the beans, the secrets are out. It does not matter how discreet one elder may be if every one of them is NOT. If one guy keeps his mouth shut, it is to no avail if the others told every Tom, Dick and Harry (including their wives).
In response to your question: Of course, they are NOT going to talk about their OWN sexual indiscretions OR anything that will make the RELIGION look bad. But, with respect to the average person in the congregation? There is NO regard (and I mean NO regard at all)! Some of them will try to be cute about this and say things like: "wellll...we're all a familyyy...."
I repeat again: THERE IS NO CONFIDENTALITY IN THE RELIGION. Might as well post your "sins" on a billboard.
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00DAD
LHG: It does not matter how discreet one elder may be if every one of them is NOT.
I'll take that one step further and put it this way: It does not matter how discreet MOST elders (on a body) may be if even one of them is NOT.
I served as an elder for 20 years in two different congregations. Most of the time we had no issues of breaches of confidentiality. But let me emphasize that this was only true MOST of the time, not ALL of the time. And it appears from what I gleaned when I was still serving and what I've since learned that these two BOE were the exception and not the rule. Also, there were no doubt breaches which I never knew about.
You've heard of the proverbial "tip of the iceberg"?
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dgp
LongHairGal:
The elders do not CARE about the confidentiality or feelings of the rank and file witnesses. While every elder may not reveal confidences, you forget that there is a body of elders and if other elders spill the beans, the secrets are out. It does not matter how discreet one elder may be if every one of them is NOT. If one guy keeps his mouth shut, it is to no avail if the others told every Tom, Dick and Harry (including their wives).
That is precisely my point. I was responding to what Scott77 wrote, about the elders lacking "Biblical" guidelines. They don't need biblical guidelines regarding themselves. What's more, if there were (or are) any, like everyone else, they will ignore them if that suits them.