They dont even investigate it here they take your word for it. My wife was married before. I thought this was sooooo wierd.
Scriptural v legal divorce
by Inisc 13 Replies latest jw friends
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apostatethunder
I feel very sorry for anybody that is trapped by this unscrupulous people, that come and accommodate themselves in the married bed, that according to the Bible should be undefiled, and let them dictate their personal decisions. I have seen many cases of this during the years and all I can say is that somebody should seriously check their mental health.
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caliber
So what is it that the elders want?
They ain't happy if you are legally divorced as this doesn't count in gods eyes apparently,
And they ain't happy if your scripturaly divorced but the legal side isn't finished yet.
It's all about division of church and state therefore two authorities to satisfy.Why not show a little emotional maturity for the relatively short peroid of time required to please both ?
Below are a few emotions a person feels during divorce:
Confusion
Anxiety
Loneliness
Depression
Low self-esteem
Emotionally vulnerableIt would be unwise deal with these negative feelings by covering them with a new relationship. It is so much more fun to focus on a new love than focus on healing the pain of divorce
also you state ...
Her as she is a widow, and him as his wife had an affair and he moved out quite some time ago. The divorce proceedings are ongoing and will be finalised in a few months.
Never rush into falling in love because love never runs out ...Let love be the one to knock on your door. Besides , true love is worth waiting for .
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blondie
In some countries divorce was hard to get even legally (Catholic countries). Also many people were studying with jws who had left one mate and was living with another as married--common law. Then they would want to get baptized and couldn't because they weren't legally married. At one point the WTS required the student to leave that "mate" usually a woman with several children and in countries with no services for single mothers. I do believe this is the current policy even now. I always wonder how the WTS will handle gay marriages being legal (and divorces) when the WTS is anti-gay relationships since they put "Caesar's" laws ahead of scriptural ones in the regard to marriage and divorce.
*** w77 3/15 pp. 182-184 Maintaining Marriage in Honor Before God and Men ***
WHERE CAESAR’S RECOGNITION IS UNAVAILABLE
24 Understanding the relative nature of Caesar’s authority regarding marriage is here helpful. Take, for example, those areas where, either because of the dominance of some religion or for other reasons, the law does not allow for any divorce, not even on the Scriptural grounds of “fornication” (por·nei′a). A man whose wife proved unfaithful to him might have left her and thereafter formed a union with another mate, by whom he may even have a family. He may then learn the truth of God’s Word and, in obedience to that Word, desire to be baptized as a disciple of God’s Son. Because the national law does not agree with God’s law regarding divorce and remarriage, he cannot obtain a divorce and legalize his present union. What can he do?
25 If his circumstances permit, he might go to a neighboring land that does grant divorce and obtain such there and then remarry under the laws of that land. This might serve to add some honor to his union, although upon returning to his homeland the marriage might not be recognized by the “Caesar” ruling there. If he cannot reasonably do this, he should get a legal separation from his estranged, legal mate, or whatever the local law makes possible. Thereafter he should make a written statement to the local congregation pledging faithfulness to his present mate and declaring his agreement to obtain a legal marriage certificate if the estranged legal wife should die or if other circumstances should make possible the obtaining of such registration. If his present mate likewise seeks baptism, she would also make such a signed statement.
26 In one South American country, although the law provides for annulment of marriage in cases of bigamy, applications for such annulment are often simply ignored by “Caesar.” Consider, then, a man who, while already having a legal living wife, separates from her and marries another woman and falsely obtains a legal certification, thereby becoming bigamous. If, upon learning Bible truth, he seeks baptism, he may find that his efforts to straighten out the legal situation regarding his current marriage are frustrated by the lack of interest on the part of the civil authorities. If unable to do anything to elevate in honor his present union through Caesar’s courts or authorities, how could he proceed? He could sign a similar declaration pledging faithfulness and file this with the congregation. Then he could be accepted for baptism, as could his mate by doing the same.
27 In a certain west African country, it may take up to ten years to obtain a divorce. Would a person desirous of being baptized, but needing a divorce so as to establish legally his or her present marital union, be obliged to postpone baptism for such a period of years? It does not seem proper that the lack of Caesar’s legal recognition should block him from showing his faith in the sin-atoning power of Christ’s sacrifice by taking the vital step of baptism and thus gaining the privilege of an approved relationship with God. (Compare the apostle’s statement at Acts 11:17 as to humans’ inability to “hinder” God in his approving of persons.) Bible examples indicate that unnecessary delay in taking the step of baptism is not advisable. (Acts 2:37-41; 8:34-38; 16:30-34; 22:16) Having initiated the legal process of divorce, such person would then provide the congregation with a statement pledging faithfulness, thereby establishing his determination to maintain his current union in honor while he continues to follow through on his efforts to gain as well the legal recognition that Caesar provides,
28 Persons may move to another country and while there they may learn the truth and wish to be baptized. In order to obtain legal recognition of their existing marital relationship, they may need first to obtain a divorce from a previous mate. It may be that the country to which they have moved has provisions for divorce but such provisions may not be available to them as foreigners. For example, many persons from other European countries have moved into Germany seeking employment. While Germany has provisions for divorce, these provisions do not embrace most noncitizens. In such cases, also, the individuals desiring to be baptized and seeking to establish the honorableness and permanence of their existing marital relationship would sign a declaration pledging faithfulness.
29 These same principles would apply for a baptized Christian who finds that “Caesar’s” laws would not grant him legal recognition in his exercise of God-given rights regarding divorce and remarriage. For example, in countries that do not recognize the God-given right to divorce an adulterous mate and remarry, an individual whose mate proves unfaithful (and from whom he therefore chooses to separate, not forgiving her) should submit the clear evidence of this infidelity to the elders of the congregation. Then, if at some future time he (or she) were to decide to take another mate, this could be done in an honorable way, the parties to the marriage signing statements pledging faithfulness and the determination to gain legal recognition whenever such should become feasible.
30 The signing of such a written statement pledging faithfulness is viewed by the congregation as a putting of oneself on record before God and man that the signer will be just as faithful to his or her existing marital relationship as he or she would be if the union were one validated by civil authorities. Such declaration is viewed as no less binding than one made before a marriage officer representing a “Caesar” government of the world. In reality, it is not the particular kind of document made but the fact that the individual makes the declaration before God that gives it its greatest weight and solemnity.
31 How might such a declaration be worded? It could contain a statement such as the following:
“I, ......., do here declare that I have accepted .......... as my mate in marital relationship; that I have done all within my ability to obtain legal recognition of this relationship by the proper public authorities and that it is because of having been unable to do so that I therefore make this declaration pledging faithfulness in this marital relationship. I recognize this relationship as a binding tie before Jehovah God and before all persons, to be held to and honored in full accord with the principles of God’s Word. I will continue to seek the means to obtain legal recognition of this relationship by the civil authorities and if at any future time a change in circumstances makes this possible I promise to legalize this union.
“Signed this .......... day of ........., 19..... Witnesses to my signing: .....................................”
32 As indicated above, this declaration should be signed by the one making the declaration and also by two others as witnesses, and the date should be noted thereon. It is advisable for copies of the statement pledging faithfulness to be kept by each of the persons involved and by the congregation with which they are associated, and one copy should be sent to the Branch office of the Watch Tower Society in that area. It would also be beneficial for an announcement to be made to the congregation that such a declaration has been made so that all will be aware of the conscientious steps that are being taken to uphold the honorableness of the marriage relationship.
33 Where the person is unable to gain “Caesar’s” recognition but takes the proper steps to establish his marriage with the congregation, he must realize that whatever consequences result to him as far as the world outside is concerned are his sole responsibility and must be faced by him. For example, if some legal issue, involving property or inheritance rights, arises due to an earlier marriage union, the individual cannot claim “Caesar’s” judicial protection as regards his new, unrecognized union.