Here's a thought, JWN member Paul Grundy, aka jwfacts, recently had a similar issue and started a thread on it.
My mother is trying to indoctrinate my 4 year old and I do not know what to do
You might find some helpful tips on that thread.
JW family indoctrination is harming my daughter
by uk_ex_jw 15 Replies latest jw experiences
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Disillusioned Lost-Lamb
We all know that outright telling a witless to stop preaching to someone doesn't work, nor does telling the hearing ear to stop listening; they just look at it as a test by jaybooger and/or the blessing of persecution.
Talk to your daughter; find out what's really going on. Be sure to let her know that, no matter what, you will not get upset over ANYTHING she tells you (the hard part is you MUST keep your cool); she may not have wanted to talk about it before because she was told you would get mad (ah the JW fear card).
If it is what you think it is than explain why you are no longer a JW and what made you wake-up/leave. Since you don't know what they've already said about you, or about what you'll try to do to stop her, don’tt speak negatively of her grandma nor other family that she most likely loves and never speak abusively about the witlesses; this will have the opposite effect and she'll think you really are an evil apostate and you're attacking/hate them (just like grandma said). So talk positively and focus on YOUR experience/thoughts only, at the very least, this will show her who is being the grown-up.
Kids are smart and even at age six she'll be able to detect whether or not you are lying and persecuting her (grandma & family too) or are lovingly concerned, telling the truth and have her best interest at heart; after that, unfortunately, there is nothing else you can do besides get custody so she isn't around the "problem" anymore.
DLL
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pbrow
Uk, i feel for you but if you are two hours away and dont have almost daily contact with her you have a huge uphill battle. As you are finding out, you can send letters, leave messages, cease and desist or have your ex "lay down the law" but unless you are close to enforce it you have a tough road ahead of you. The devout jw does not give two shits about your being the father. After all your child will be told "Your father doesnt love you enough to live near you" "your father doesnt love Jehovah" I was in a similar situation although I lived alot farther away. I made the move a few years ago and believe me brother, it was worth it. If you have a kid that there is the slightest possibility they will be taught the jw lifestyle then there is nothing more important than getting them out. NOTHING!!
Good luck,
pbrow
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steve2
You're her father - and as such have the potential to have a huge positive influence on her as she grows older. If you are too heavy-handed with the JW-relatives, however, this could be construed as "persecution" - and that's the line they'll feed your daughter. Kids caught up in adult squabbles are often in a no-win situation: Whatever they do, they let down some significant adult in their lives. Besides, some times ex-JWs react with such strong hostility to the JWs that it causes other individuals - e.g., your daughter? - to believe it "must" be the truth to elicit such an emotionally strong reaction.
Be a firm but fair influence on her. Express to her your concern, give your reasons in a fair-minded way, always leave your door open to her. Whatever you do, communicate clearly but never disrespectfully to the JW relatives. If you want them to stop witnessing to her, say so. But never ever resort to rudeness or hostility - it will simply serve to justify their sneaky ways.
Also, in the event that your daughter does keep gravitating to the JW beliefs, keep in mind the very high drop-out rate. Contrary to what the witnesses say about the nearness of the end, you will still be here for her years from now. Kids sometimes make very big decisions - under the influence of pushy adults - far too young in their lives. She must know that you will always be here for her no matter what she chooses to do today.
Panic is for people who literally believe the world is ending. Calm strategizing is for people who plan to be available for their children for years into the children's future, through thick or thin.
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ruderedhead
uk_ex_jw, you are in a tough spot! I'm sure you already know the advice to remain respectful and calm in speaking about/to the jw family members is excellent. You daughter will see the hypocrisy of their words if they try to berate you. But it sounds like your poor child is in danger of being sucked in. I hope you can get to the bottom of just how people who live over 100 miles away are able to have such an influence on her. May I suggest that you, your ex wife and your partners sit down and discuss exactly what is going on after you have been able to have a long conversation with your little girl alone? Would it be possible for her to spend the better part of Summer with you so you can at least temporarily stop the jw influence? If you go to church, can you take her to your pastor for some help? Please arm yourself with information that is at her level to combat what she is being told. I feel so badly for you, as you must feel a little helpless right now. Wishing you all the best.
rudered
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wasblind
What I've learned first hand is that JW's get in folks bussiness where they don't belong
and as soon as that child grow up to be your worse nightmare, they scatter like flies
I seen that first hand
I have seen single moms in the kingdom hall, and the elders wives be all up in her damn business
and when the confused and devestated child becomes out of control, elder wife is nowhere to be seen
Becuase my ole man didn't buy into that mess, me and my daughter would go to the hall alone
One sister tried that mess wit me, I backed her ass up, I didn't cuss, but I gave her a worldy tongue lashin'
I was this close from chokin' her ass out, but I chilled, crazy ass bitches