Thanks everyone. So nice to hear some thoughts and opinions from people other than my mates (who think the whole thing is so bat-shit crazy that I should just ignore it altogether and why am I still even talking about it!?) and my fiance' (who I can actually understand being sick to death of hearing about it from me!).
Firstly - I am confident that he won't return to the 'truth'. Although I've always thought it was a bit mad - when he was trying to decide whether he wanted to stay a witness or not, although I wanted to shout to him to 'run! it's all crap!' I was really careful to keep quiet and influence him as little as possible - I knew that otherwise I would always be wondering if he'd turn back to it. He left because #1 He didn't believe, and #2 he hated being told what to do by 'authorities' that he niether liked nor respected.
He probably falls under the group of people who leave and 'don't make much fuss or have that much emotion about it' - or if he does, he doesn't talk about it. That does fit in with his charachter, and admittedly he didn't go crazy or rebel like a lot of young guys do and he still has a really good relationship with his 'in' family (I suppose the fact that he wasn't baptised is a blessing to all of them)
Ding: the bit about the temperaments - totally true, we are pretty much chalk and cheese when it comes to temperaments, I suppose you could say I'm the more, um 'passionate' one (that's definitely talking about myself in the most positive light possible hehe)
He's pretty much a Peace Keeper - if I hear someone say something that I think is offensive towards me, he will tell me 'that's not what they meant'. He's getting much better at taking my side and is starting to stick up for me, but for a while it just felt like I was boiling away by myself in the corner :)
A lot you guys here must have some good advice on how to just ignore the religious parts of 'still in' family though? I know I have to just ignore them - I understand that at an intellectual level - unfortunately, I struggle with it on an emotional level... I guess if I had ever been in I might have left with a big fuss and a lot of emotion ;)
Thing is, I think it’s easier with your own family rather than in-law’s – you can be a lot more honest with real family and they will usually forgive you – if not understand you…