I know it's hard to challenge your beliefs you have held onto so long, what else is out there in this world, that makes sense? Once upon a time, we had a edge over the world, we had "game" but this is fading. Why? Think about the talks you heard at the "One Day, Two-Day or Summer Conventions", were you upbuilt and told how valuable you are? How much emphasis was placed on helping you navigate this hectic life, versus energy placed on preaching more, living off less money to preach more, spending your vacation time to preach more? Did you walk away with self-confidence or self-conscience of your short comings in field service?
It's hard to listen to the same material week in and week out, and feel like you never measure up, don't you think? When was the last time you read a Watchtower Study edition from cover to cover, and thought "this magazine has made me feel I am valuable to Jehovah!" or did you end up feeling you could do more to please Jehovah, after reading the story of the one legged schizophrenic Special Pioneer sister with sixty studies?
Did you know there is a scam in the magazine industry, regarding pictures of your favorite movie stars, singers and super-models? The photos of models and movie stars are not real, they don't exist! If a movie star does not like the photo taken, they use "Paint Brush" to polish their shots that make them look human. The illusion of the perfect body is perpetuated and women especially are hit with the impossible metrics to try to live up too. How is this relevant to our experience in the World Wide Brotherhood?
Did you know that many of the parts done on the Assemblies of the past, are performed by people whose conduct might not be acceptable to Jehovah? There is a image the Watchtower trys to paintbrush our minds with those on stage, you are told to follower their examples. How else would someone be standing in front us, if Jehovah was not pleased with them? I am going to share a little secret with you, if you knew what was going on away from the Kingdom Hall in their homes, you might be stumbled. I know you have experienced arrogant Circuit Overseers and District Overseers who enjoy eating up all the praise you can shower them with. Be honest, how many class groups do we have in our Organization? James told us to avoid class distinctions, yet we ignore his inspired words of God, and attribute unreal qualites (Like the super-model illustration) and paint brush them as being "closer to Jehovah" "holy, better than us, more productive, more worthy" than they truly are, it's fantasy friends!
How would you feel if your Special Day Assembly's chairman was a pedophile or a professional con-artist? Would you be shocked that Satan had infiltrated what our brothers in New York call "The New World Society"? We are told repeatedly by the Slave, we are provided with a safe and loving refuge, "a place we can come in out of the World's harsh wind and burning Sun." the illusion is breaking down though.
Many of you brothers and sisters could forgive much of the wild doctrine speculation done by the Society, if there was half the brotherly love the Slave claims there is. How often do you get invited to share a meal and fellowship with your faithful brothers and sisters? If you stopped attending meetings, how long would it take for your group to notice you are missing. Would it surprise you to know, there are single sisters with wordly mates, who drop off the radar, never to be seen again? How about the fact that when our dear elderly become infirm, unable to preach door to door, many are wheeled off to Resthomes never to be seen by the Kingdom Hall members again.
JWN would not exist today, if our brotherhood had half the love it claims to have. You know what I am talking about, you are aware that punishment with judical comittees are not meted out equally. Sheppherding Calls are a strange beast, many times the strong members are the ones who receive the most calls, while the weak are hanging out to dry. Jehovah is not evil to forget all your good deeds over the past, men will and do, but not Jehovah, just try to survive this world we live in! Try to read other books that will upbuild your relationship with Jehovah and Jesus Christ. Jehovah sent his son Jesus for you, not for some group of men who claim to be special, Jesus was sent to help the weak and down trodden! Jesus Christ gave his life for you, he does not forget his weak followers, or the elderly ones in Resthomes! Hang in there our precious brothers and sister lurkers!