You just described my wife
For now...all hope has faded
by outsmartthesystem 21 Replies latest jw friends
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irondork
outsmartthesystem: Folks.......it is this type of control that makes people drink poisoned kool aid. I am mortified to learn that my wife would be first in line.
OutSmart... this forum is full of people who used to fit this description to a tee. I was also one of them. So was my roommate. Your wife is still there. That doesn't mean all hope has faded, it just means not yet.
Big word: YET!
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rebel8
all hope has faded
Nah. I used to say that same sh1t at the doors when people would challenge me with logic too. I didn't actually believe myself, I was just trying to avoid the lightning zaps I thought would come if I said the truth aloud.
Also there could be cognitive dissonance even though she's towing the party line.
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TimeBandit
I thank my lucky stars that my wife listened to my tearful appeal and considered my research findings about the jws. She saw how heartbroken I was to know the truth about the "truth". I was able to stir her into addressing some of her own doubts. That combined with my heartbreaking realizations and findings was enough to sway her. We disassociated together last summer. I got lucky I guess.
I hope she sees the 'light' and realizes you are right about what you are trying to tell her some day. Hang in there brother!
Chris-
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Billy the Ex-Bethelite
Wow. Right now she's prepared to leave all her thinking to Watchtower Corporation.
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wannabefree
outsmartthesystem: I think my wife and yours would get along quite well. Cheers. Here's to hope.
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jemba
When I was in I would push all of those 'iffy' things to the back of my mind. After some time though the cognitive dissonance becomes too heavy and weighs on your subconcious. I believe some 'facing it' has to eventually push through or youll go mad.
In my experience it made me sick, depression and anxiety, it got worse and worse till I faced it. It also helped to be in a cong with people I couldnt stand being around, it makes you not want to go to meetings or field circus, in the end youre just looking for an excuse to leave.
Finding out TTATT is the best guiltfree excuse to leave... ever!!
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outsmartthesystem
Approach #2:
Sometimes people can see better if it's not THEIR religion under discussion.
Ask her, "Suppose you were witnessing to a Catholic at the door and asked him/her, "Is there anything at all that the Pope and cardinals could do to raise a red flag?" and got the response: "NO! ANYTHING at all that they do or say must be approved by God regardless of whether or not I understand it or approve it"
What would she say to try to show that person that his/her answer makes no sense?
I tried a similar approach. When she said that she didn't appreciate me trying to undermine her beliefs....I said...."fine....if I am the problem then let's just pretend that I am someone you met out in service.....or maybe even a bible study that has done some diligent research. Would you tell your bible study that you don't owe them an explanation? Would you get mad when they ask you uncomfortable questions? How would you explain yourself to someone other than me?" Her response? "It is clear that all you are looking to do is nit pick. Jehovah would not draw someone like you to the organization. He would only draw honest hearted ones that aren't critical like you". Yes Indeed. Why make sure of all things, when you can just believe, baby?
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outsmartthesystem
Thanks everyone for your caring. It means a lot
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DesirousOfChange
It's a difficult situation, but you got your wife to admit and verbalize an absurd position. If you give it some time, it may start to bother her.
She's still in Stage #1: DENIAL.
Give it some time. It may not be as hopeless as you think. What she really needs now is some kind of personal injustice or offense that hits her right between the eyes and brings her out of the "coma".
Doc