I've always blamed my father for lots of stuff. I think he's a victim too though. He is a victim of his fears.
Watchtower played on our fears of taking risks in life. Yeah, taking a blood transfusion to save your life is a risk. Going to college, pursuing your dreams, a risk. Bonding yourself to the person you love no matter where you meet them. Lots of things are.
The only happy witnesses are the ones that are able to totally sublimate their dreams and desires. I've never known a happy Jehovah's Witness.
The real enemy is the fear itself. The fear is what makes us susceptible to concepts like. "In just a few years, all your worries will be over, all you have to do is ....."
I realize that fear is behind the great majority of bad decisions I have made and continue to make in my life. Fear is what turns me into a total ass even among my friends when it gets out of control.
I'm tired of being afraid. I wish others in my family were willing to battle fear together with me, but most of them have succumbed.
What is the opposite of fear? Bravery? Hope? Determination? Optimism?
Probably some of all of them.
Life is right there. I can smell it, feel it. I am aware that it is there but cannot reach it. Fear to me seems like a raging fire and on the other side of it is life. Can I move through the fire to life?
Peace
Joel