Well hello everyone.
After some thought, I realized that I've created a middle world for myself, that is neither JW, nor included in the other 99% of the population. In fact, living here in JWN is like a cong sometimes. The rumours, the gossip, the clicks, it's all here, if that's what u want.
What's happened to me is that I'm almost in a JW state of mind with the small group mentality. It's isn't reality.And I'm not growing as a person.
With that I've decided to make the next step for myself. My wife I can't speak for and she just straight faced me when I gave her the details of the recent court activity. I've accepted the fact that this is the best I may have from her. So time to move on and make something for myself.
Today, I was having lunch with a fellow apostate that still jumps in every few months here to say hi, and let others he's doing well. He is doing well. Has a girlfriend, all his friends are non JW's. And his friends are so whatever when it comes to former religion. It's just another name to them. He's in a place I'd like to be. All it takes is a little effort on my part.
So now I'm going to put my big boy pants on, and move on. Good luck to everyone on their journey.