by outsmartthesystem 13 Replies latest jw friends
"No, make her live by her own damn rules and take her to the elders for not providing the marital due."
I thought about it.....but honestly....our relationship is to the point where I lack the desire to even embrace her
"If you can't talk about it, sex is the not the problem."
Exactly. I didn't come across very clear. I don't think the problem is sex drive. I think it is her christian hatred for me
" I don't think the problem is sex drive. I think it is her christian hatred for me "
That is truly a shame
Your wife have been mind fucked by the WTS, that means none for you
I think it is her christian hatred for me-- Wow, only in dubland does this make perfect sense. Try explaining that one to a non jw
outsmart, im sorry man. Looking back i sort of did a drive by on this thread, threw something out and never came back. Im sorry.. i have had a long time to come to grips with this situation and didnt stop think that you really needed to talk it out....
Yep I'm still in. Lots of men and yes, lots of women, in our position. For one reason or another the physical nature of the relationship faded or was absent from the start.
But the reality is that lots of men and women in all walks of life find themselves in this situation. Its not unique to dubbies. But it is made WORSE by this chrisitan fundamentalist religion.
My wife went years with a cycle of "oh i want you" to be followed by periods of "gawd why do you want sex all the time". I tried to find middle ground and draw her out when she went through these periods. at one point I had her drawn away from this cult , at least as far as our sex life went. i had gotten her fairly well comfortable with things the wt frowned on in fact... but she got drawn back in deep. This was long before I woke up to the reality of the religion.
at this point its been about 6 or 7 months since we touched and like you i simply dont have a desire for her. I spent about a year complaining on this board about her and my marriage... I learned a lot as time has gone on and I deal much better with it all now. I dont wann turn this into some half assed pitty party for you or me. If you want to pm me i can and will share ways I have found to cope with the situation, but long story short, to stay or go is a choice. The physical part of your relationship isnt the only issue im sure, although quiet frankly for my wife and i it was the main source of contention many years and it was that aspect that feed into other areas.... cause, lets be honest, marrying a 22 year old and then cutting him off from sex once you "have" him and he cant leave because of the reilgion is really really low.
IF you want to talk more I'm here for you. Stay strong and respect yourself, dont let physical denial overwhelm you. Try not to be embittered and think rationally.
