A Question About Shunning

by Adumbra 25 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • blondie
    blondie

    When I was a teenager (in the 70's, see 1974 WT info) shunning df'd people was not as rigid, unless you were still practicing the sin or someone might see you. The elders would be chatting with the person at the KH not like today where only an elder on the JC could have minimal conversation re getting publications etc.

    But then the "rules" changed in 1981 (during the 1981 great WT "apostasy") and people were threatened with being df'd if THEY associated with a jw family member (other than immediate like spouse or minor children) or a non-family df'd jw.

    One may have hoped that the draconian system of disfellowshipping may have eased over the years, yet the opposite is true. In 1974 there was a softening of the 1952 stance, with release of the following article, but this was short lived;

    "Congregational elders, as well as individual members of a congregation, therefore, ought to guard against developing an attitude approaching that which some Jewish rabbinical writers fomented toward Gentiles in viewing them as virtual enemies. It is right to hate the wrong committed by the disfellowshiped one, but it is not right to hate the person nor is it right to treat such ones in an inhumane way. We may note, too, that at 1 Corinthians 5:11 the apostle warns against mixing in company with one who "is" a fornicator or practicer of some other kind of serious wrongdoing. What, however, of the one who has been disfellowshiped for being that kind of person but who thereafter, either at an early point or at a later point in time, gives consistent evidence of discontinuing such wrong practice, stopping it? Can it be said that he or she still "is" a fornicator or whatever type of wrongdoer such a one was that caused him or her to be as "leaven" toward the congregation? For example, a young person disfellowshiped for fornication may thereafter marry, raise a family and live a respectable life. Or one who was disfellowshiped for drunkenness may abandon such practice and, if drinking at all, may do so in moderation only. By such changes these individuals may now regain the respect of the community. Such ones may not yet have come and formally sought reinstatement by the congregation. Is there, however, not an evident difference between these and others who continue right on in the wrongdoing that brought their disfellowshiping? Those giving up the wrong practice may still manifest some appreciation for Christian truth, perhaps even defending the true Christian congregation when someone speaks evil against it. Should not such circumstances be given due weight and have an effect on our attitude as a congregation toward such ones? Surely if the prodigal son of the parable had returned home in a drunken state, perhaps dragging along one of his harlot companions, the father's reaction would not have been the same. But the father had reason to believe that the son was approaching with a right motive and, rather than suspect the worst, the father hoped the best and went out to meet his errant son." Watchtower 1974 Aug 1 pp.467-469

    Unfortunately, this more reasonable stance reverted back to strict shunning in 1981, with a comprehensive discussion in the Watchtower Sep 15. The 2008 book Keep Yourself in God's Love continues to refer to the 1981 Watchtower as the standard to be followed.

    http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/disfellowship-shunning.php

  • outsmartthesystem
    outsmartthesystem

    When I was an uber dub, I shunned my own brother. (we now have practically no relationship). I even semi-shunned my sister who was never DFd but lived her life to "worldly standards". I actually felt good about it. Somehow my shunning of them would move them to come crawling back to the kingdom hall (I imagined). Even if they never came back.....I truly felt in my heart like I was making God proud.

    It is amazing how a cult can make inhumane treatment and hatred out to seem as though it is loving.

    I will live with those regrets for the rest of my life.

  • outsmartthesystem
    outsmartthesystem

    Oh yeah! Welcome!!!

  • Giordano
    Giordano

    Welcome Adumba. I left over 40 years a go and still think about some of the friends I grew up with. Since I wasn't DF or DA and as Blondie pointed out things were a lot different back in the day....... it was possible to have a relationship with some one who simply stopped believing. However I quickly found that I couldn't connect with friends who were very into being a JW. Casual witnesse's (the best kind) yes. IT all depended on finding other common interests. Eventually we went our seperate ways. Since exchanging XMas cards was out or celebrating birthdays, thanksgivingetc. those touchstones were lacking.

    Did they think about me and my wife? Yes some did, when a close family member passed away I recieved some phone calls and was surprised at how warm they were to me. I sensed I was missed. But in todays atmosphere there is a big gulf to cross to redevelop a past relationship.

  • Dagney
    Dagney

    I did not like the way it made me feel. The last time I did it was when I saw a person at Disneyland, went through a ridiculous range of emotions wondering if she was reinstated or not. It bothers me to this day, and thankfully after that day, I decided I would never do it again. I also made sure I told DF people who came to the meeting I was glad to see them.

    It is an inhumane practice meant to break a persons spirit. I hate it.

  • laverite
    laverite

    There is a perverse pleasure in shunning those who are outside of Jehovah's very own earthly organization. Jehovah God himself has lovingly provided the disfellowshiping arrangement through the Governing Body.

    Because the DFd ones have chosen a path that has taken them outside of the protection that the Society offers, they are wicked and deserve the shunning they receive (indeed, they are deserving of death and even much more but Jehovah being merciful, he will simply kill them at the big A for not being a part of the Magazine Publishing Empire aka the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society rather than torture them endlessly). Know that if you maintain the strictest stance toward shunning, you provide the wicked one with an exemplary display of devotion to Jehovah. Many have been brought into The Truth this way.

    And if they are not, look forward to that thousand years of burying bodies followed by an eternity of petting pandas (as one JWN member here likes to say...I forget to whom this reference should be attributed). You will be richly rewarded with eternal life by obeying the GB of the WTS.

    Pleasure? You bet! Hot damn, it feels good.

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    Welcome to the forum SittingStraight, good to have you here. My eldest daughter was disfellowshipped for a time, I tried to shun her to stay within the 'rules' but got my worldly sister on board to support her. I stopped shunning and went on helping her with shopping etc since she suffered I'll health...that got me into some trouble. She got reinstated but I reckon the disfellowshipping experience embittered her, she was already going in that direction, and I don't think she ever got over it. She's tried being a zealous JW and certainly shuns me, but she's very screwed up. Thanks WTBS, great job!

    Loz x

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Welcome Adumba... I was in the 1960s I knew many that was to be shunned.

    I was obedient So I never talked to them but I would wink at them....

    Or give em a thumbs up....I must say I felt guilty afterwards ,
    but thought it might make em come back to the (lie)"truth?"
    Yes I had given my brain to the old men at Brooklyn....
    But thank God ,Jesus made me take it back...

  • laverite
    laverite

    I, for one, am glad you got your brain back dear mouthy.

  • AnnOMaly
    AnnOMaly

    I felt very stressed and conflicted when I had to shun. It was going against my nature not to at least acknowledge somebody politely.

    One time, I was studiously shunning somebody - for years - and they weren't even DFed - I'd been given wrong information! Another time, somebody who was DFed was reinstated without my knowledge. There was yet another situation in my family where contact was maintained with one DFed relative, while another DFed family member was shunned - I went along with it (they were the in-laws side) but it felt wrong.

    I got sick of the inconsistencies and the inner (unnecessary) turmoil it created, as well as realizing that Jesus shunned NOBODY, not even Samaritans, prostitutes or tax collectors, so I thought 'Hang it, it's far easier doing the right thing, showing Christian/common human courtesy and concern, treating others as you would like to be treated, than it is acting all snotty toward them.'

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