To the older Poster's

by Patriot 12 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Patriot

  And I mean older in the literal sense not time in H20 or Jwd and with some serious time put in with the WT.

  How do you feel? How do you or did you face the facts of the WT and dismiss everything and everyone that you have believed in and has been your friend for so many years?

  How do you make up for lost time? Can you? Do you feel frustrated everyday because you "could have" done "something else"?

  Do you believe that you will go to heaven now or that when you die you will simply cease to be? How does that make you feel?

  I guess what I want to know is how do you guys cope with all this now that everything has been said and done and although you might be young in your hearts and minds (God bless you) but you don't have the strength to perhaps do thing you've always wanted to (like mountain climbing or parachuting)because the WT counseled against it?

  I'm thinking of all you guys in that situation and can only speculate as to how you might feel. But I would like to know because I know that I can and will draw strength from your attitude toward life now.

  I have a late patrol tonight so I will read your answers, if any, on the first chance I get.

  Goodnight,
  Mav.-
• 

  wasasister

  I suppose I qualify as "old", although I don't feel that way.

  I'm rapidly approaching 50 and in some ways I have never felt better. I have energy and strength I didn't feel when I was 20 or 30. My children are grown, I'm established in my career, I'm not wealthy, nor do I worry about paying my bills.

  Yes, I could have furthered my education if not for being raised a JW. I was smart in school and somewhat of an achiever, given my limited arena. I had an aptitude for math and I do wish I could have pursued the subject. However, raising decent children - at the cost of becoming financially secure - means something to me. I don't think I'd trade that for anything.

  I've never been one to spend a great deal of time looking back, wondering what might have been. I know I have some productive years ahead and I intend to make the most of them. I hope I find a partner to share those years with, but if not I'll find happiness on my own. I refuse to spend even a moment whining about what was taken from me. I gave myself willingly to "the cause" and I have no one but myself to blame for my years of devotion.

  How do I feel? I've never been better in my life. Old is a state of mind.

  Youthfully yours,
  Wasa
• 

  rekless

  And now the end is near, and so I face the final curtain,
  My friend, I'll say it clear,
  I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.
  I've lived a life that's full, I travelled each and every highway,
  And more, much more than this, I did it my way.

  Regrets I have a few, but then again, too few to mention,
  I did what I had to do, and saw it thru' without exception,
  I planned each chartered course,
  Each careful step along the by-way.
  And more, much more than this, I did it my way.

  Yes there were times, I'm sure you knew,
  When I bit off more than I could chew,
  But thru' it all, when there was doubt,
  I ate it up, and spit it out.
  I faced it all and I stood tall, and did it my way.

  I've loved, I've laughed and cried, I've had my fill,
  My share of losing, and now, as tears subside,
  I find it all so amusing.
  To think I did all that, and may I say, not in a shy way
  Oh, no, oh no not me, I did it my way.

  For what is a man, what has he got,
  if not himself, then he has not
  To say the things he truly feels,
  And not the words of one who kneels,
  The record shows I took the blows, and did it my way

  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  Hell is truth seen too late. H.G.Adams
• 

  Sam Beli

  Hi Patriot,

  I am probably much older than most on this board. I was raised by JW parents. I wasted approximately 60 years attempting to please my parents and serving the arrogant Brooklyn masters. I despise those masters, but for some strange reason I am not very bitter about the years lost. Maybe I know that would be an additional waist of time.

  I am reasonably comfortable with my personal situation, though I did not come close to reaching my potential for all of the usual reasons. My life was really off track during my early years as a young man and after marrying the pioneer sister. I am now married to a wonderful “worldly” lady. Oh the joy of not being limited to the KH to find a mate.

  My joy now comes from taking in the best of each day and appreciating it on its own merits. I vote if I want to, go to concerts on Sunday afternoon if I want to. I stand up during the playing of the national anthem, I wish “happy birthday” to friends and “worldly” family, I talk with my neighbors without feeling different, I talk with my doctor without the cloud of the blood issue casting a shadow over the proceedings, I see each individual person I encounter as an equal not inferior because they are not JWs; and on and on. All of the afore mentioned activities are done with no guilty feelings on my part.

  Oh, the freedom

  Sam Beli

  I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after wind. What is crooked cannot be straightened and what is lacking cannot be counted. Solomon
• 

  Undecided

  Hi,

  I qualify as old at 66 I guess. I really don't have any regrets, I have enjoyed all my life and if I could do it over again I probably wouldn't want to change much. I was raised as a third generation JW by loving parents who gave me the choice to do many things that I enjoyed. I have a tendency to remember the good things and forget the bad things, but I'm glad I do because it makes life better. Life as a JW back when I was young wasn't nearly as controlled as it is today, at least in the congregations down south that I was acquainted with.

  In later years when I was in my late 30s I just quit because it was taking all my time and energy to handle all the responsibilities I had in the congregation. I still believed most of the "truth" but just put it in the back of my mind. Recently I have become agnostic and think I will just die and that will be the end of it. I have seen so much of the truth become non-truth that I would be a fool to hold onto it. Now I just enjoy my family and hope for a few more good years before it all ends.

  Ken P.
• 

  Tanalyst

  "goin to heaven"

  reminds me years ago when i asked Joe Haig from Bethel ( a lifer, he was in his 70's in the 70's) a typical nobody, I asked him,"Joe, you goin to heaven?" He replies, "Yeah that's what they say."
• 

  larc

  Well,

  I am 61, left the religion in my 20's, so I am a long time out. I think some things were easier back in my youth, no dating rules, no beating on children that couldn't sit still, at least not in my congregation. We were allowed to play with wordly children, because there were very few Witness children back in those days, because the religion was very small. Well, I am rambling, but in some ways it was a kinder, softer religion back then.
• 

  Beck_Melbourne

  Hi Patriot

  I don't know if I qualify to answer your question...I was raised in the borg....and I spent 14 years as a baptised member. I married a JW and we raised our children in the truth up until 1998 when I left to start a new life on the outside.

  Your question is interesting...and when I first left the truth...I was still very defensive...I still believed it to be the truth...and I continued to have that defensive stand where the truth is concerned. I also held worldly people in the same regard as I did when I was in the truth...even though I was now one of them....I couldn't detach myself from my conditioned way of thinking. I made sure I attended the memorial that first year I was out...and I refrained from any festivities at xmas time....I found the whole xmas thing overwhelming and very 'pagan'...and I still could not deal with it nor could I accept that it was okay for me to do this now....a part of me still felt that it was NOT okay. Also, when I enrolled my kids in their new school...I would write on their medical form that they were not to receive a blood transfusion under any circumstances...the usual thing we write as JW parents.

  Over the last 2 years....things have changed for me...my thinking has changed and my life has changed - for the better.

  After being shunned by my JW family I slowly began to resent it...as I was learning that some of my JW relatives were doing things making them no worse then me...and I felt so hurt that they were faithful by shunning me...but were unfaithful in other things.

  Today...I have come to terms with my past and the hyporcisy I have witnessed. Over the years I have become aware of things that I wished I'd known sooner...as it was very hard those first 2 years out...that transition period of uncertainty....but now I know exactly what I don't want...and that is life in the borg...not ever again.

  The freedom Sam Beli talks about is so hard to describe...my partner finds it difficult to understand as he was never a JW. Before I found every aspect of my life was structured around the 'borg'...not Jehovah...and not he bible...but the borg's understanding of the scriptures. I spent my childhood confused...wanting to be normal like all the other kids....so like Sam Beli I spent my childhood trying to gain my mother's approval. I eventually married and that craving for approval transferred from mother to elder husband.... trying to be a good submissive wife...a mountain goat with a loveable hide!! I'm so glad to have left all that fear behind...fear of disapproval...fear of being viewed as spiritually weak...fear of being thought of as not having enough godly devotion.

  Today...I have new goals...I am planning for my retirement...and I have a superannuation fund. As for my kids...I am encouraging them to think ahead...and to plan and prepare for their own futures. This opens the door to options like University studies and good paying careers. I am teaching them that there is no shame in owning material things...that a nice home and assets is not being materialistic. I am also teaching them that there is no shame in being good at sports...and that they do not need to sneak to sporting events...as I fully support their sporting/dancing interests. Finally....I have that normal family life I always wanted. My son plays rugby...one daughter does gymnastics...one daughter (16) sits on the end of the phone talking to her friends about boys...and my partner and I potter in the garden on a Saturday morning.

  The best thing about life on the outside is that I don't live with the 'guilt'. I can sleep in on the weekends...and I can wear my skirt lengths above the knee if I so choose..and I can watch Harry Potter with a clear conscience.

  Wouldnt change it for all the tea in china!!

  Beck

  ps...sorry it was a bit long...got a bit carried away.
• 

  terafera

  My joy now comes from taking in the best of each day and appreciating it on its own merits.
  I vote if I want to, go to concerts on Sunday afternoon if I want to, I stand up during the
  playing of the national anthem, I wish “happy birthday” to friends and “worldly” family, I talk
  with my neighbors without feeling different, I talk with my doctor without the cloud of the
  blood issue casting a shadow over the proceedings, I see each individual person I encounter
  as an equal not inferior because they are not JWs; and on and on. All of the afore
  mentioned activities are done with no guilty feeling on my part.

  That was beautiful... and true!
• 

  chezza

  Amen beck