Taking a Trip With My Lady Friend

gilwarrior

This weekend I went out with my lady friend. We were talking about places that we wanted to travel to and about her birthday on March 15. We were talking about Miami when I jokingly mentioned, "Wouldn't it be cool if me and you could go to Miami for your birthday?" It was just a joke, but much to my surprise she told me, "Yeah that would be a great idea!" I was SHOCKED! I told her if she was serious. She said that she was. I told her that I could go to the travel agent that booked my trips to Las Vegas and Jamaica. She told me that that would be great and I told her that I would go on Monday and that I would call her Monday night.

Now, this is where I am confused. I told her awhile back that I have feelings for her. She told me that she likes me as a friend, but that is all it can lead too. She told me that she is not religious, but does believe in the bible. So she tells that she only wants to be friends, but she has given me certain signals that I find questionable. When we walk, she will hold my arm. When we are at the movie theater she asks me to rub her feet. We have conversations where we talk about each others lives. However, her agreeing to do to Miami with me for four days?

I am wondering whether she could have romatic feelings for me. Or, does she see it as two friends traveling together. I'm confused.

What do you all think?

"I have so much love to give, but no one to give it to."

William H. Macy - "Magnolia"

hungry4life

Gee no wonder you are confused, their seem to be some mixed messages here. My advice to you is don't assume anything keep an open mind and just go with the flow (of course this means being discreetly prepared for any possible situations i.e. bring condoms) But not neccesarily that anything more than friendship will take place.

I have traveled to many places with friends of the opposite gender with no hanky panky involved. Of course I was up front about my feelings (as your lady friend seems to have been). Most of the time this has worked out just fine. One time a guy got really upset with me and said that he had been sure I would change my mind. I wound up leaving and making other accomodations for lodging as well as traveling on my own the next day. He apologized later on and we continue to be friends (this has never been an issue again).

I think that most of the men I have traveled with respect my being upfront about my expectations and of course I pay my own way. Are you paying for the trip? I mean I realize it is her birthday but I don't think a lady should expect a gentleman to pay for everything. Especially if they are just friends. After all friendship is a two way street.

If nothing happens on this trip don't assume that you don't have a chance with this lady. It may very well be that she will come to appreciate the real you even more as well as be impressed by your respect towards her. If nothing else then have a good time and just enjoy Miami!

In case anyone is wondering why a woman would go away with a man she is not romantically involved with I will post a few of my reasons. I love to travel and many of my girlfiends have children or husbands that would not allow them to make the trip. Traveling in groups is safer than traveling alone, not to mention more fun. It is a great way to get to really know someone. Expenses are lessened when you share a room. You have someone to talk to when you get home who understands what a great time you had and is just as eager as you are to see your vacation videos.

It's funny the elders used to say that if two people were in a home alone for over 2 hours their motives were suspicious. I have been in a motel room with a guy for days at a time with out any sexual activity,and "worldly" guys at that.

If anything is going to happen make sure that she makes the first move, heck let her throw herself at you. This way you will be sure not to jump the gun and assume something that could ruin your trip and friendship. Also with all the weird mixed messages she is sending you she may not know what the heck she wants so play it cool and make her beg for it :D . Above all else be respectful but don't let her use you, set your financial limits.

puzzled

The first question that popped into my mind, some may think this is a bit shallow BUT, Is she real attractive?
If so ONE possability could be she does have "extra" feelings a bit more than JUST FRIENDS but prefers to take it slow and cautious in the romance dept. In order to maybe avoid a nasty break up if it doesnt work out romanticly.??
Tzz poss.
On the other hand maybe she is just a free spirit?

.........plmkrzy

gilwarrior

hungry4life, my lady friend pays her own share everytime we go out, and she owns three small businesses of her own, so I am sure that she will not expect me to pay for all the trip.

puzzled, HELL YEAH SHE'S ATTRACTIVE! She will be turning 44, but looks like she could pass for being in her late 20s or early 30s.

Another reason why she maybe holding back (which I forgot to mention) is that she is 43 and I am 28. That could be the reason she holds back (assuming she has any romantic feeling for me in the first place.)

"I have so much love to give, but no one to give it to."

William H. Macy - "Magnolia"

Scully

Gil,

Go on the trip without any 'expectations' in the romance department, even to the point of booking separate adjoining rooms. That way your lady friend will not feel that there's any pressure coming from you regarding sex, and if she wants to go there, she will let you know in no uncertain terms.

Having said that, lots of people like to wait for "special occasions", like a birthday, to make romantic feelings known. So in the spirit of optimism, put some condoms in your suitcase, just in case.

Hope you have a great time, either way. BTW, I agree with sharing expenses for the accommodations and airfare at least. Maybe you can treat her to a special birthday dinner, as a friend. If she's not interested in a romantic relationship and only wants your friendship, she should not mind sharing the expense.

Love, Scully

Xander

she is 43 and I am 28

Wow, and I thought my wife and I were far apart (8 years). I mean, I've seen some hot older women, but still...

(you do realize she it old enough to be your mother, right?)

You're right - the age difference could be an issue, but maybe not in the way you think. It's a lot of guys fantasy to 'be with' an older women, but not in a long-term relationship. She might be worried about that. I'd suggest to try to convey the idea you'll be there for her, as a friend or whatever, for the long haul.

In any case, good luck!

even to the point of booking separate adjoining rooms.
But, adjoining if possible - many hotels have connected rooms, which makes it easier if things DO 'work out', or at least allows you two to watch tellie or something late at night together before hitting the sack in your seperate rooms.

A fanatic is one who, upon losing sight of his goals, redoubles his efforts.
--George Santayana

KissAFish

Gil, I would say she is just playing it safe..we women are all different..I am a straight shooter.. ( but I do like being mysterious..which can be confusing!!!..LOL) but some women take their time, make sure all is ok before taking a leap..or maybe she really does want to be friends.. You'll have to wait and see...

"You never lose by loving, you only lose by holding back. "

KissAFish

Or you could always take this quote seriously....

"Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering.
The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep burning, unquenchable." (Henry Ward Beecher)

Elsewhere

Don't do it! RUN! It's a classic Bitch Trap!

She is using you for the dinners and gifts (and anything else money will buy) - then going off and screwing some other guy. Trust me. I've been there.

A few simple tests:
1. Try to have sex with her. If she won't BEFORE the trip, then don't assume that she will ON the trip.
2. Happen to mention that you two will be sharing ONE room and ONE bed.
3. While talking about the trip, ask her if she is on the pill. If not, what “method” she prefers (asking this as a “courtesy” of course).

If I were in your position, I'd dump her so fast it'd make her head spin and flip her off as I left. She is using and manipulating you by playing with your heart. Some women do it consciously others unconsciously. No, I’m not being cynical, just realistic. I’ve encountered this before and it hurts like a bitch when you realize that you are being used.

(You women know what I'm talking about! I’m not characterizing ALL women in this light, but they’re plenty who will do this.)

"As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
Believe in yourself, not mythology.
<x ><

Elsewhere

One more note... you think you have a "friend", but what you really have is a "cock tease".

"As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
Believe in yourself, not mythology.
<x ><

Taking a Trip With My Lady Friend

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