When you left the JW/WT religion, were you really an adult ?

by Phizzy 10 Replies latest jw friends

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  Phizzy

  I spent decades in the religion, I was born in, so my world view, my education, my social skills, all were dictated by and controlled by the "religion".

  I feel that when I left I was immature in many ways, I had never faced my own mortality, I knew nothing of the reality of Evolution, I had never voted in an Election, I had never donated blood, I had never confronted the reality of the Bibles status etc etc etc.

  It was like a child walking off in to the blue yonder, no knowledge, no experience.

  The main problem was, I had never really made my own decisions, I had never had to consider all the evidence and then decide for myself.

  It was frightening and yet exilarating at the same time, but I was woefully equipped for the real world.

  How did you feel ? Confidant ? Perplexed ?

  Please tell, and tell of your progress since you have left,
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  whathehadas

  I felt like a 17yr old, Socially and emotionally. I had to virtually start over with my views towards society and the human race as a whole. I've made friends and feel a little bit more comfortable around those with those with philosophical views on life. I'm still trying to get use to dating and being comfortable around the opposite sex. Primarily due to the societies strict rules on courtship, which I never really did in the borg, I'm socially retarded in this aspect. This is the thing that really bothers me. I've never kissed a girl and I'm still a virgin at 29yrs old. This fact I can't escape......since I'm constantly reminded of this by looking and being around other people! I didn't think much about this while I was in. I had desires but always attributed them to man's evil and imperfect nature. I never thought that maybe....this was a natural thing for man. Point blank.....it's a embarrassing aspect of my life. The lie I believe that this world is so morally degraded. Yeah right. I've been away from the borg for almost 3yrs and I haven't fell into a "sinful life" as the WT mentions so often. I've been to clubs and parties and haven't experienced no sex crazed lifestyle, and it's not like I haven't been fighting against. That WT talk is BULLSHYTE! Most people do have a moral code minus all the religious dogma. In this sense.....with all the emotional and social baggage, I can't say that I'm a adult. Maybe in a few years after fully recovering.
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  whathehadas

  To add to this. It felt like I been in prison my whole life and have been fed with the prison food/religious doctrine. I'm trying to reinvent myself and stop being shy.
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  sinedie

  The main problem was, I had never really made my own decisions, I had never had to consider all the evidence and then decide for myself.

  That’s what is keeping the most of us from becoming adults. I still struggle with that.
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  blondie

  I was an adult, in years and experience. I was ready emotionally and spiritually to leave.

  "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."
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  civicsi00

  No, I was not an adult and it has taken me about 3 years to finally step out and become confident in myself and my actions. The Society definitely kept me child-like and ignorant about the world and only now do I fully appreciate everything the world has to offer. It is unfortunate that I have spent 30 years on this world and I'm only NOW realizing my full potential. Yes, I seriously regret spending so much of my time within that Borganization, and I wish I could take some of my years back. They stole my youth and I'm left with middle-age.

  Am I bitter? NO! I'm very happy to be OUT and ABOUT, and I'm gonna spend the rest of my life ENJOYING IT!!
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  Morbidzbaby

  In years I was considered an adult... In life experience and ability to make decisions and not be taken advantage of because of how naive I was, I was still quite a child. I daresay a lot of born-ins are still children in many ways when they are in the org. They have no real ability to use their rational mind, no free thinking, no critical thinking skills.

  When I finally left, I had critical thinking skills and made the decision on my own to just fade from the org based on their false doctrine and the fact that I had become an Atheist due to the above-mentioned critical thinking. But socially, I was still a child. I never really had associated with the "world" too much and the only "worldly" friend I had was one who used me.

  It's been 2 years of education for me...but I think I've smartened up quite a bit, even though I still have a ways to go.
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  panhandlegirl

  Phizzy wrote:

  I had never voted in an Election, I had never donated blood, I had never confronted the reality of the Bibles status etc etc etc.

  The main problem was, I had never really made my own decisions, I had never had to consider all the evidence and then decide for myself.

  I was df'd as an adult, 40 yrs old. I have been so busy going to school and just making a living that I have not had the time to consider anything else. I did vote for the first time in 1980. I am just now, since I got on exjw sites, considering the status of the Bible and if some of what is written there is really the way it happened. Like you, I have never considered all the evidence and decided for myself. I find it disturbing and confusing. I have ordered several books and one, "Misquoting Jesus," has changed my view of the NT. I am still in learning mode and I have been out for nearly 28 years. WOW! That's a long time. I am also a born-in and it really messes with your mind when you have never known anything else.
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  Star tiger

  Hi,

  My main worry was that, the witnesses said that money was bad, unless you were giving it to them, lol. Any attempts to build my bank balance, in my subconscious mind were seen as living in this system, total crap, I am working to eradicate this mentality.

  Regards,

  Star Tiger
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  Band on the Run

  I decided to resist when I was fifteen. My father dragged me to meetings against my will. He died when I was sixteen. My mother assumed I would remain with the Witnesses. There was a show down. She would never beat me so I told her I would definitely never go. If there were some aged related problem, she would have to call the police to take me or go to court. She was shocked, My family went without me- one more time. No one attended afterwards.

  I resisted at fifteen b/c it was the 60s and rebellion was in the air. My worldly friends were everything to me. I was in the highest academic division in school. No one else was attending a wacky church. Roman Catholic teenagers were also resisting their parents. I would walk miles out of the way for a New York Times or Village Voice. My soundtrack was the Beatles and Bob Dylan.

  My first part time job meant that I could afford concert tickets. I was always at rock concerts. Friends and I would see the Stones in their rooms at the Plaza. Central Park was a place for bohemians to hang out.

  The Witnesses had no chance. My father hated John Lennon with a vengeance. All my Beatles loot was confiscated. I was always so afraid of him. He lectured and screamed about John Lennon while wearing only his undershorts. Suddenly, rather than fear being thrown down the stairs, I just burst out laughing so hard. Lennon was so big and he was nobody. John's witticisms danced around my head. My body might be captive but my mind was free.

  I think I was just evolving. When I was younger, I tried so hard. I would sit in the KH as the brothers that I had to obey could not read and had no job skills. A different KH may have yielded a different result for a short time. Public school was the death knell for them.

  More than education, though, was the lack of warmth in the KH. Worldly people were so damn nice to me.

  I sneaked out behind their back to work in antiwar campaigns. NY department stores and Greenwich Village seduced me.