A Saga
Back in November of 2011, I received a phone call from my ex, Bill Bowen
He informed me that his dad had died of a massive heart attack. He was upset because neither his JW mother nor Sister had called to inform him of his fathers passing.
He found out from a non JW aunt. I was appalled that they had treated him that way!
He shared his story on Facebook so I passed the story along on my Facebook page.
I added personal comments about how I felt about how they treated Bill and how much I loved my Ex Father -In -Law.
I wanted to share those fb comments with you today but when FB switched me over to Timeline they lost some of my important posts and the ones about this were casualties.
Anyway, The story I am referring to is the first one on the following link entitled
"Dad Died Today" in case you haven't seen it.
Then came the funeral.
Bill picked up our son Rex and they traveled to Arkansas and attended the funeral together.
The funeral experience is the second story at the following link
"Dad's funeral"
I shared the funeral story on my FB page as well.
I expressed strongly how I feel about JW funerals.
I said that they say very little about the dead loved one and use the occasion to preach JW doctrine to a captive non suspecting non JW audience.
I find it disgusting!
I also talked about how the JW treated Bill & our son at the funeral. I also told how Rex (son) came in and told me his own version of events which were right in line with his dad's experience.
He was not as indoctrinated as the rest of us because he was so young when we left the Witnesses.
So he found the whole experience weird and unloving. As he should!
Then in the first week of January I notice that my sis is no longer my friend or sister on Facebook. I also see that my son,and non JW family were not listed as friends anymore either.
So I'm thinking its a FB glitch and message her the following.
Me and Harry found out tonight that we are not your Face book friends anymore. What happened?
Here is my sister's response
Sheila,
I can only say that I LOVE YOU more than anything in this world. But because you've chosen to support apostacy, you've made it so I can't associate with you anymore. You knew what would happen if Mom or I found out about some of the things you have done recently.
1) Reposting Harvey's lies and slander against the organization and Jehovah's people on your web page; when Bill died. You might as well have sat and written it with him.(Missy called Harvey an hour after Bill died.) You decided THAT was more important to you than Mom and I. You posted it up on your page for our family and hundreds of people to see. I also know this is just one more thing that you will use to talk bad about Mom and I, how our cult has made us disown you, and how awful the truth is. I'm so hurt that you couldn't respect our views and our beliefs and just let it go for the sake of our relationships.
2) We found out that you sent a floral arrangement to Bill's funeral w/ a card that said, "Silent Lambs" on it to the Kingdom Hall.
Definitely not the time to pull a stunt like that!
I have cried and cried and I'm devasted that you have chosen to destroy our relationship. We have proof of you reposting Harvey's post. The others I don't know if you did them or not. But that one act alone is all it took to cause this. I hope you feel it was worth losing your Mother and Sister over. You have no idea how sad and devastated I feel. I wanted to always have you in my life. I love you and you're my big sister! I've felt so close to you and have been so glad to have had the opportunity for us to get to know one another as adults. I'm going to miss you terribly. I'll never get over this! It's like a death.
I love you Sheila and I ALWAYS will! I hope that someday you will come back to the truth, before it's to late.
P.S. I closed that account.
My response
I am blown away by what a self righteous bitch you have become! Michele, I did re post Harvey's funeral story, not gonna deny that. It was the truth. Not lies!
I am shocked you would believe the poisonous hate and lies that spew from Brenda and Missy's mouths.
I am also shocked you have chosen to re-join a cult that destroys families. You have known for years how I feel about the Witnesses,the Bible and Religion in general.I really don't know why your freaking out now. They did use Bills funeral as a platform to preach their doctrine. Very disgusting to me.
I wish you could see how crazy this is to disown your sister over the teachings of a cult that misleads, brain washes and destroys family ties.
It IS NOT THE TRUTH It IS PURE EVIL how it robs people of their lives and families.I love you and will miss you.
Sad you have chosen this path.
Also sad that you turned Mom against me.
I love you and have done everything I know to help you and this is what I get.
How twisted.
I 'll be here if you ever come to your senses.
Love your Big Sis
If you knew the history,you would know why I was so upset.
She moved in with me and new hubby when we were still newlyweds. I have supported her by giving her a place to live off and on for years, Fed,bought clothes,fixed her car,paid her bills,bailed her ass out of jail twice.Watched her stumble from one crisis to the next because she refused to listen to my good advise. I tried with all my heart to help her.
There is also a lot I can't tell you.
I didn't get a reply from my sis so after I cooled down I wrote back.
Michele,
Ya know, I was just thinking how ironic it is that for the past several years there have been many times that you gave me guilt trips for shunning you when you were disfellowshipped. You expressed how it hurt you so much and how you just couldn't understand how family could cut ties like that.
Well now you know. When your mislead by a cult you choose it over family every time.
Anyway, you can never guilt trip me on that again and I hope someday we can be sisters again and laugh our asses off about all this
It is insane that a person (me) has to fear to express their personal opinions and take on things for fear that your family will disown you if they disagree or even if they believe it not to be true.True friends and family don't act this way. We have diametrically different beliefs, so the hell what! We are still family.
Love you and always will. Sheila
Still no response,its been 6 months. I guess she ment it when she said she was going to shun.
I talked to Bill that night his dad died and he still had not heard from his sister.
As far as the floral arrangement, Bill had requested that we send flowers in the name of Silentlambs.
I wanted to send flowers in honor of Bills dad and I also wanted to do something nice for my ex Bill.
It was the least I could do since I could not be there for moral support.
So I wrote on the card
"Bill Bowen was my father-in -law for over 22 years. I loved him very much Sheila (last name) for Silentlambs"
I wanted to hear it from my Mom instead of taking Michele's word for it that she was also going to shun me. So I called her.I explained why I sent the flowers and told her what I wrote and why. I also told her I shared Bill and Rex's funeral experience and that I had every right to do.
She said the typical things like guilt trips,and threats of Armageddon.
One thing that really stood out to me was that she said
"You use every opportunity to say bad things about Jehovah's Organization."
The funny thing is, that was not true! I was very angry when I left and I fought Watchtower for two solid years.
But my 22 year marriage fell apart, I had to survive and get a new life.
By the time I accomplished that. I didn't give a SH*t about them any more because I moved on .
Now , I find myself having the same feelings I had when I fist left the Witnesses over 12 years ago.
Thanks a lot mom and Sis!
I really have better things to do and I hope I get this out of my system and go back to my new life.
Ranchette/Sheila