Hardest most awkward parts of being mentally out but physically in

by BU2B 35 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  SweetBabyCheezits

  BU2B, you have a PM, young squire.

  I stepped down as a MS first. Couldn't dole that shit out from the platform.

  After that, service consisted of long drives to rural territory, usually just me and the wife and our small child. She couldn't stand meeting for service without me so we'd either say we had plans or try to make advance plans with "weak ones" occasionally and make an easy morning of RVs where the conversation with the householder centered around the latest heat wave or the neighbor's dogs. Soon I couldn't stomach even that, and I'd just drive her around like a chauffeur.

  Within two years of waking up (maybe sooner), I quit going in FS altogether but counted the family study time, at the urging of the Service Overseer, so I wouldn't be inactive. Then I said screw it and quit turning in slips, too.

  I dropped bookstudy when we were covering the Revelation book for the 17th time, then the TMS/SM about a year later. Quit all meetings, cold turkey, within 2-3 months after my wife woke up.

  Can't describe the relief that comes from not having to listen to or parrot their mass delusion.
• 

  Mickey mouse

  Once I realised that the truth was the false, I couldn't go door to door. I carried on going to meetings and reporting time for a few years though. Man that was grim.
• 

  Morbidzbaby

  I got incredibly busy. I took on more work, made plans outside the hall on meeting days/nights that I "just couldn't break", etc.

  One thing I definitely did was quit going out in service. Seriously. If you have to cut back here and there until you're no longer going out at all, then do so, but by even being seen out with the JW's, you're identifying yourself to people as "with them". Say you're doing letter writing, making phone calls, etc...and then don't do it. Get some lists of names, numbers, and addresses to take home and then just don't do it. Claim you're informal witnessing...eventually, get yourself down to 1 hour a month (whether it's true or not is up to you).

  If you're asked what's wrong, claim depression or discouragement. The one thing they hate having to deal with is a sad JW because it makes them uncomfortable...they're supposed to be the happiest people on earth, remember? The fact that someone in the flock is depressed is uncomfortable for them...and they won't force the issue. That's a great way to get out of going to meetings (along with work).
• 

  treadnh2o

  I remeber going through those exact same motions. The most liberated I have felt since my planned exit was when the Service Overseer called for my time and I said "Zero Hours" like I was proud. He tried to get me to admit to talking to the kids, informal witnessing etc. I repeated "nope! Zero Hours!"

  There is absolutely nothing he could say he was so in shock that I could not care less about my "christian responsibilty"
• 

  Balaamsass

  Congrats and Welcome to the group.

  If you need to avoid being disfellowshipped because of family......Faaaaaddddddeeee.

  Find a reason to have to switch halls. Count an hour talking to us. Work out of town, switch schedules. People will EXPECT to not see you and never think about it. When JWs ask you questions....reply.."good question..what do you think?"

  If you need to get through to people ask questions, avoid statements.

  I know a few people who have been out for 10 years and no one in their family knows or cares. They come and go freely.
• 

  Aussie Oz

  Thankyou for your post

  i have a teenager not living with me that is mentaly out and physicaly in. It has been very hard for her to 'fly under the radar'. Fortunatly she isnt dragged door to door very often (unless the CO is visiting) and she ignores the attempts to get her to have a bible publication study.

  I help her to see that it will get harder the longer it goes on, she has an 'out', just isn't ready to use it.

  Oz
• 

  respectful_observer

  This is what I imagine would be the hardest things:

  - The torture of sitting there at the meetings and assemblies KNOWING there are others who count themselves as members of the “Conscious Class,” but fear ensures all members of it only ever know for sure that they alone are a member.

  - Seeing your spouse openly disagree with so many doctrinal and procedural issues, mock the ridiculousness of Bethel, fill out fake time slips every month, hate meetings, etc., yet turn right around and pledge their undying loyalty to the Org

  - Knowing that if you have children, you have to face the choice of raising your child as a JW or losing your entire extended family.

  R_O
• 

  outsmartthesystem

  Yeah....you need to find a way to quit service. I did for 4 years before I officially faded. honestly though.....I found the meetings to be quite intriguing. Most witnesses are in a zombie like state of agreement for the meetings with what is being said from stage going in one ear and out the other. When I "woke up"......I paid better attention to what was being said than I ever had before. It was THEN that I was able to focus on all the mind control techniques, and logical fallacies that come from the stage. Eventually....though......I couldn't take the governing body worship sessions anymore so I had to quit the meetings altogether
• 

  DesirousOfChange

  Most witnesses are in a zombie like state of agreement for the meetings with what is being said from stage going in one ear and out the other.

  So true. They sit there like a bobble-head doll, nodding along without even taking note of what is being said. The speaker can make a total mis-statement that is contrary to WT doctrine (esp Noo Lite doctrine) and no one will even bat an eye.

  When I "woke up"......I paid better attention to what was being said than I ever had before. It was THEN that I was able to focus on all the mind control techniques, and logical fallacies that come from the stage.

  I sit and highlight all the BS in the lesson while it's being read. It's a fact that people HERE read the WT publications much more diligently than the R&F at the KH. But really maybe that's a good thing for WTS. . . . IF R&F really read it all and dug into it, they'd all be here eventually too. The WT literature is the most damning thing there is for the WTS.

  Doc
• 

  Room 215

  ... having to inconspuously gag in the presence of a dubbie who speaks of being "in the truth."