Had a visit from JW's yesterday.

by exwhyzee 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  ambersun

  It made me smile to think of JWs feeling the need to explain to former congregation members of 25 years standing that conventions are open to the general public, as though you had never known that before. Surely as former friends they would realise that you must obviously have spent years going door to door telling the general public about the conventions, exactly as they were doing yesterday.

  It never ceases to amaze me how often JWs treat us former dubs as if we are either suffering from amnesia or completely lost our marbles. After all, in their brainwashed minds what other reason could we possibly have for leaving "The Truth?" It must be really confusing to them when they see us all so happy and contented in our new WT free lives when they are all trained to believe we are all living miserable empty existences.

  Even though I was a regular pioneer for years and the daughter of an elder, I still have to endure kind hearted JWs feeling the need to explain even the most basic teachings to me as if I had either forgotten or maybe spent my JW years in a total daze. I just smile sweetly and remind them that I actually already know all that they are carefully trying to explain to me, but I am not interested thank you, and perfectly happy to be free of it all. Very bewildering for the poor souls.
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  nugget

  I wonder if those in the car were still counting time? It also amazes me that it takes them so long to call on you and then the convention invitation is the excuse. So you don't want to come to meetings but you might be interested in sitting in a stadium for 3 days listening to endless droning talks.
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  DesirousOfChange

  AMBER -- It never ceases to amaze me how often JWs treat us former dubs as if we are either suffering from amnesia or completely lost our marbles. After all, in their brainwashed minds what other reason could we possibly have?

  I just have to remind myself that I was once where they are. Hook, line & sinker. And could easily still be there if circumstances had gone differently.

  XYZ -- It took almost 3 years after we quietly left our last meeting (memorial 2008) before anyone came looking for us. After nearly 25 years raising our family in the same hall and it was as if we didn't exist anymore.

  Welcome to the club. We do make our occasional "token" meeting, but the rest of the month no one wonders (or cares) where we are or why we are not there. Don't think that I'm complaining. Just stating a fact.

  Doc
• 

  Quendi

  Your story is a sad commentary on the true state of this religion. This is not to say there aren't JWs who really care about others. I was never an elder or a ministerial servant, but when I noticed someone had not been to the meetings in a while, I personally called on them to see if there was anything I could do to help or simply to express my love and concern. Often I was greeted warmly and kindly by the friends who would then say that nobody on the servant body had even made an inquiring phone call let alone actually stopped by to stick their heads in door.

  As for JWs not being in touch with reality, my meetings with my judicial committee showed that very plainly. I remember one meeting in particular in which I lectured the elders on their responsibilities as shepherds both quoting and citing relevant scriptures to make my points. I told them that neither they nor the WTS had fulfilled their obligations to seek for lost sheep, bind their wounds, and bring them back to the fold lavishing affection on them once they were back. At that, one of the elders looked at me in both fear and surprise and then said, "You haven't lost a step, have you? You're as sharp and smart as I remember when you were an integral part of the congregation here!" To which I replied, "That's the very thing I'm talking about. You think that when someone is put out of the organization they degenerate into mindless heathens. I'm glad to prove otherwise."

  I still hope, exwhyzee, that the Witnesses who called on your home took away more than the satisfaction of seeing you again and 'counting time'. Maybe, when they were alone with their thoughts, they realized that your family has something lacking in their own lives: peace of mind, happiness and contentment. Being forced to spend a dreary and rainy Saturday morning making perfunctory calls on other people is hardly a fulfilling way to spend one's time. Attending meetings where you are told that your best isn't good enough can't be uplifting either. The Witnesses gave you a printed invitation to their district convention. You gave them something much more precious and that was food for thought.

  Quendi
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  DesirousOfChange

  I remember one meeting in particular in which I lectured the elders on their responsibilities as shepherds both quoting and citing relevant scriptures to make my points. I told them that neither they nor the WTS had fulfilled their obligations to seek for lost sheep, bind their wounds, and bring them back to the fold lavishing affection on them once they were back. At that, one of the elders looked at me in both fear and surprise and then said, "You haven't lost a step, have you? You're as sharp and smart as I remember when you were an integral part of the congregation here!"

  It didn't get them thinking enough to change their decision though, did it? No, they cannot think on their own. They can only do what the book (not The Book) tells them or what the dominant Elder of the three tells them to do. They leave saddened, but knowing they did the right thing: "It's a loving provision. Hopefully, he'll wake up and come to his senses before Armageddon is here."

  Doc
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  Quendi

  You're absolutely right in your assessment of the elders I dealt with, DOC--more's the pity. It didn't matter what the Bible said, they only paid attention when they heard or read "Thus saith the WTS". Nothing else mattered. But I knew I had no chance of getting reinstated. What was important to me was to let these elders know that I wasn't going to grovel at their feet and sue for pardon. This cult is not just corrupt, it is evil and I say that despite the good it has accomplished. What it has done to the human spirit is deplorable but I still hope that I will live to see the day of its collapse.

  Quendi
• 

  exwhyzee

  An update on this posting:

  I just got home from work and there was a pink envelope under the front doormat. It was a card from that couple who stopped to give us the invitation to the D.C. It said that they really enjoyed visitinig with us and thanked us for being so hospitable even though they dropped in unannounced. They said that it's a sign of a good friend when you can do that and be made to feel so welcome. It said they miss us and they want us to sit with them at the assembly this weekend. They left thier new phone numbers and want us to call and let them know.

  It was really nice for us to see them too and I don't want to hurt their feelings. They are the first ones after all this time to actually ask us to come back. But I can't imagine going to the assembly unless I could go anonymously in another city and be a fly on the wall just to see what it would be like after all this time. I do wonder if the old anxiety would come back like it used to as soon as smelled the new literature and I heard the music and heard them testing the microphones by announcing "And this good news of the kingdom will be preached throughout the world and then the end will come !" That used to freak me out for some reason. It's been so great to be free of that horrible sensation that I don't want to risk it returning.

  Anybody have any ideas of how I could put it to them gently that sitting with them aint gonna happen this weekend ? I wish I knew their email adresses so I could just send them a note rather than call . (coward)
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  mrsjones5

  Thank them for the invite and tactfully let them youre not availible to join them. Are you faded?
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  exwhyzee

  Thank them for the invite and tactfully let them youre not availible to join them. Are you faded?

  Yep...faded like a favorite pair of bluejeans.

  I'll be tactful but I know they're gonna ask why we won't go. Then there will be a line drawn that may not be crossable anymore. Old friends are hard to come by these days.
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  Quendi

  It is indeed wonderful that your old friends still have affection for you. I have no doubt that they deeply appreciated your kindness and hospitality. Otherwise, they would not have communicated with you further. Abraham Lincoln once said, "You'll draw more flies with one drop of honey than you will with a gallon of gall." This experience demonstrates the truth of that observation.

  I think you should continue in the same vein. Mrsjones5 has made an excellent suggestion of what to say to them when you do call. I can understand your apprehension and it may well be justified. But don't make the mistake of making this decision for your friends. Continue to show your concern and appreciation for them. Thank them for their visit and how much you and your family enjoyed it. Tell them you would like to spend time with them again. Unfortunately, you won't be able to attend the district convention with them as you had no plans to do so and now it is too late to accommodate it.

  Ultimately, you'll come to a crossroads in this relationship. Your friends will ask you to come back to the meetings and you know that isn't possible anymore. Then it will be time for that heart-to-heart talk with them. But that can still be done in a spirit of love wherein you help them understand that all you are asking is that they respect the choice and decision you have made as you have respected theirs. Your problem is not with them personally nor with the others in the congregation. The problem you have lies with the organization and its demands for unquestioning, blind loyalty. Since you believe that is something no human organization can or should have, you have chosen to part ways. I know you have other issues with the WTS but framing the discussion in these terms makes the point simply and directly. You'll be telling the truth and telling it in terms they will be able to understand. You might even use the title of certain talks given at the convention (its program is listed on prior threads here on JWN) to support your contention. Good luck!

  Quendi