Ending a sentence in a proposition can get a guy slapped a who bunch of times.
Conjugating stuff should only be done in a proper marriage.
A split infinity leads to babies.
Gerunds are little animals certain movie stars put in places where the sun don't shine.
Transitive refers to people who live under bridges.
Intransitive refers to people who live in houses.
Double life imprisonment is a compound sentence for really bad guys.
A compound/complex sentence is almost the same thing, but the Judge was on drugs and didn't have a clue when he issued it.
Parsing a sentence should only be performed by people who don't have a clue what they are doing.
An example of a propositional phrase is "Hey babe! Your place or mine?"
Alliteration is what happens when a whole bunch of people toss garbage out of their car windows on the highway.
Punctuation is what every 14 year old boy wants to do to every 14 year old girl and every other female on the planet for that matter.
Using a semi-colon in a sentence is the same thing as using a period, except it isn't.
Using a colon is something best done in private.
Most people, use commas, way too much, and this, should be, avoided, however.
Exclamation marks should be used sparingly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Contractions should only be used by women in labor, and even then sparingly.
Only capitalize proper nouns. Do NOT capitalize improper nouns. For example, do not capitalize "run."
Verbs have tenses. It seems that just about everyone and everything these days have tenses. These are tough times, especially for verbs.
Some of these verbs are perfect tenses and some of them are imperfect tenses. Adam is a good example of a perfect tense. He had Eve. You'd be tense too if you had Eve. She screwed up everything. No wonder Adam was tense.
Spelung is essential for gud grammer, too.
Every proper sentence has a subject and a predicate. We all learned this in 3rd grade. Now nobody actually KNOWS what a subject and a predicate actually is, but we all know every proper sentence should have one.
All teachers of the English language are insane.
I made all of this up.
End of lessons
Farkel
