The question of evil.
The JW version of theodicy is an illogical fudge, the many and varied christian theodicys are not much better.
After the sudden and violent death of a christian friend I was shocked, not by the accident but by the infuriating reactions of other christians. Nobody had the honesty to rage about the injustice pointlessness of the death of a devout christian and father of four teenage children. Everybody had an irrational excuse about why god had done this and talk was of the good that was going to come from it. At services and prayer meetings it felt like there was a conspiracy of willful blindness.
It was seen as a lack of faith and trust not to be content that in some way we could not understand Stewart's death was part of god's wise plan.
Stewart was a farmer. One Saturday morning he went out to clear some drainage ditches. God could have prompted one of his three sons to go with him but he didn't; they were all too busy. Stewart took the loader - a large tractor like machine with a hydraulic arm and a huge bucket on the front. God could have prompted Stewart to fix the parking brake at any time but he didn't. Stewart parked the loader above the ditch with the bucket extended so he could shovel weeds into it. God could have prompted him not to work right under the loader bucket but he didn't. He could have prompted him to look up just before the loader began to roll forward but he didn't. He could have prompted hif wife to ring his mobile to tell him lunch was ready 5 minutes earlier but he didn't.
His wife and son found him in the ditch pinned under the edge of the bucket. His son reversed the loader and his wife, a nurse, tried in vain to revive him. His chest was crushed beyond recovery.
Apparently it was all part of the plan of a loving and wise god.
His wife concluded god had done it so that her fortitude and strength would be a witness to others and cause them to believe.
For 9 years I had prayed to god all the time, often it just felt like an ongoing conversation. I "knew" god was listening and answering. I preached regularly from the pulpit about Jesus' sacrifice and god's love and forgiveness. Sometimes I led worship time, it was never my gift, preaching was. I loved worship time in church though especially when we sang songs about the cross like "How Great Thou Art"...
And when I think that God his son not sparing,
Sent him to die - I scarce can take it in,
That on the cross my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin:
Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Often I would have tears in my eyes singing these words that I really believed. Corporate worship is an exhilarating experience.
The day of the funeral was the last time I prayed - that was 8 years ago.
I still went to church all the time but a light had gone on. I began to look objectively at my beliefs. I studied theodicy intensely and found even the most sophisticated arguments to be vacuous.
Then a few months later - Boxing day 2004 to be precise - I was driving to my local football club to play in our annual charity match. On the car radio there was news of a tsunami in the Pacific. Over the next few weeks the death toll rose to a quarter of a million. Free-will arguments would not work this time. Theologians of all stripes pontificated at length in god's defence and none of them had anything to say.
To cut the rest of the story short it took about a year to go from passionate christian to atheist. It began with an emotional response but it was only after a year of research and gathering evidence that I knew for sure that I was finished with faith.
Now I know why bad things happen to good people - the answer is...................
"shit happens"