Jehova's Witnesses and Dating

by SoManyQuestions 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • SoManyQuestions
    SoManyQuestions

    There's this really great girl I know, and she is so perfect for me, except for the fact that she's a Jehova's Witness and I'm not. She says that she can't date outside the religion.

    I'm pretty sure that Jehova's Witnesses are a branch of "mainstream Christianity" (meaning they just basically follow the bible, not have a different interpretation like like Mormons)

    Where in the Bible does it say not to date outside the relgion, and if not, why do Jehova's Witnesses feel this way. Thanks for any help you have.

  • chezza
    chezza

    This i something that is drummed in to all jw's, bad associations spoil useful habits 1 cor 15:33
    marry only in the lord, or in their interpretation in the same religion
    They also tell you that it is too hard to have a marriage in a divided house, religously devided that is. ie: you are going to your parents for xmas lunch, your jw girlfriend cant go because of her religous beliefs and the same goes for birthdays and all other pagan celebrations, not to mention the fact that she will be going to three meetings a week and going out in field service, all of these things will keep her away from you and you may start to resent the jw faith. Hope my little thought help a little :-)

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    Hello SoManyQuestions and welcome!

    I can't understand how this girl can be perfect for you. To find someone that is perfect for you, would mean you share a lot of the same interests....and her religion is not just a 'thing' she does in life...it "IS" her life. The JW faith will dictate everything she does, says and wears....and unless you can find a way to have some common ground...your relationship is pretty much over already.

    Sorry to be a wet blanket...probably not the words you want to hear. I do think however, that if you and her are a couple (as in boyfriend/girlfriend)...then she isn't a very strong JW member...which will make life a whole lot easier for you. But then again, she may have her moments when she will want to strengthen her spirituality...and that is when your relationship will suffer...when she feels like following scriptural counsel. For example, she will be told that you are not a good associate...for now she isn't listening to the counsel...but the day may come when she will. Where will that leave you? Down the creek without a paddle?

    I don't see a future for you...and anyone else who has been in a 'divided' household can tell you why. I was bought up in a divided household...my father was not a JW and my mother was and still is a JW. After 20 yrs of marriage they got divorced...and my father's life spiralled downwards.

    I think you have 2 options...to either join up with the JW and become one of them...or entice your girlfriend to leave (however this must be done in a subtle way). Good luck.

    Beck

  • concerned mama
    concerned mama

    Hi SMQ,
    Welcome to the board. I am non JW too, but I sure have learned a lot here. JW are really far from mainstream Christianity. Read information from all the links at the bottom of the page. Sorry, but I don't think dating a JW works out well at all.

  • jerome
    jerome

    Two in two days.

    I dont seem to be alone anymore.

    The Bible is a two edged sword wield it for evil and it you may get hurt.

  • jerome
    jerome

    By two I mean two newbies looking for advice on relationships witha witness.

    Welcome to the board.

    I think that you should stay for a while so that you can see what you are up against.

    By thw way you dont need to talk to her about researching her religion as yet, that is not advisable.

    Stick around and you will find out why.

    The Bible is a two edged sword wield it for evil and it you may get hurt.

  • Camay05
    Camay05

    RUN !! I have been dating my boyfriend for a long time and he
    suffers from all kinds of things, Armageddon syndrome, depression
    just to name a few. If she is really into that religion you wont
    have much success because alot of them seem to be deeply brainwashed..

  • JT
    JT

    Jerome

    ck your email

    *****************

    welcome to the board SMQ

    you are at the right place and folks will provide you with all the info that you will need to help you understand jw

    james

  • Alleymom
    Alleymom
    Where in the Bible does it say not to date outside the relgion, and if not, why do Jehova's Witnesses feel this way.

    Hi, SoManyQuestions ---

    I am pretty new here, and I have never been one of Jehovah's Witnesses, but I think that one of passages is:

    2 Corinthians 6:14-16
    "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God."

    Other translations say "do not be unequally yoked," and the passage is applied to marriage. But the reasoning is that you should not be dating someone unless you could be equally yoked with them in marriage (which they interpret as a Witness should only marry another Witness, because they are the only ones in "the Truth".) Being unequally yoked is like a donkey and an ox trying to plow together.

    Are you aware that the Witnesses think that they are the only real Christians on the face of the earth? They believe that all others who call themselves Christian are really part of Satan's false religion, and they teach that all Christian clergymen are liars and deceivers. So they don't think that a marriage between a Witness and a Baptist or between a Witness and a Methodist or (especially!)between a Witness and a Catholic is an equally-yoked marriage between two Christians.

    I'm pretty sure that Jehova's Witnesses are a branch of "mainstream Christianity" (meaning they just basically follow the bible, not have a different interpretation like like Mormons)
    Ummmmm .... did you know that if you walked into any Christian bookstore of any denomination and looked at the section on "cults" you would find books on the Jehovah's Witnesses? Now some people would classify them as a "high-control" religion rather than a cult, but if you do some reading you will find that they deny all of the common Christian creeds and doctrines.

    I don't want to discourage you (you sound like you like her a LOT!), but if you love this girl, you owe it to her and yourself (and any future children <s>) to make a careful investigation of:

    1)JW history
    2)their changing doctrines
    3)their numerous failed prophecies of the end of the world
    4)the family-destroying shunning/disfellowshipping policies
    5)the authority issues (extremely high-control)
    6)potentially deadly medical policies (blood transfusions)
    7)exJW's stories
    8)responses from Christian scholars

    I know, that probably sounds like a real drag, and you may think what does it matter if we love each other and have different religions? But religion is really important in a marriage and even more so if there are children. When one person honestly thinks she(or he) has the Truth and that the person she loves the most in the whole world is not going to be saved, of course she is going to try to convince her loved one to see things her way.

    There's this really great girl I know, and she is so perfect for me
    Wow, it sounds like you have really fallen for her! Did you meet her in school? Do you think she likes you, too?

    Regards,
    Marjorie

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    Somany,

    She seems perfect because of her virture. But this was tempered by ridicule and strict upbringing.

    She seems quiet and beautiful. More likely she is lost and tempestuous.

    Run away, before you give more of your heart to a woman who thinks it's morally wrong to love you!!!

    ashi

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