http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQENwD-QlRA
[This is one of the most powerful lessons you can learn in understanding the REAL character, and honesty/dishonesty of people. But it has to be visual and in person to fully work. That's why people hiding on the Net under false pictures and icons cannot really be trusted. I have always guessed it as listening at 20% effective and watching/using your senses as 80% of understanding others. When people want to argue about invisible things, they are almost always operating under self-delusion.] - Randy
Body language is a form of non-verbal communication, which consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. Humans send and interpret such signals almost entirely subconsciously.
John Borg attests that human communication consists of 93 percent body language and paralinguistic cues, while only 7% of communication consists of words themselves;[1] however, Albert Mehrabian, the researcher whose 1960s work is the source of these statistics, has stated that this is a misunderstanding of the findings[2] (see Misinterpretation of Mehrabian's rule). Others assert that "Research has suggested that between 60 and 70 percent of all meaning is derived from nonverbal behavior."[3]
Body language may provide clues as to the attitude or state of mind of a person. For example, it may indicate aggression, attentiveness, boredom, relaxed state, pleasure, amusement, and intoxication, among many other cues.
This is also known as profiling in the legal system, the best way to catch a crook. Yet animals and even bugs have used these visual matrices to protect themselves for millions of years. If you want to get a person out of a cult, or even become an exit-counselor, and you don't understand this (it's largely instinctive more so than learned by a book), you will have little success. In 30 years of exit-counseling, this has been my most effective tool. Arguing theology and concepts and philosophy is virtually worthless in comparison, yet 95% of all books on cults miss the boat entirely. Why? Because the writers, though sounding very bright and intelligent, have no real experience in getting a person out of a cult. Throw their books away and get your hands dirty in the REAL world.
You can discuss abstracts SUCH AS INVISIBLE SKY-DADDIES AND SUPER-DADDIES WHEN THEY'RE OUT.
It is also my observation that when a friend or family member wants to hire someone to get a person out of a cult, THEY are the one who needs the MOST counseling, as their primal control mechanisms often drove the "victim" into the cult in the first place! What irony, but I would guess it to be true in 80% of the cases I have worked in. [I don't do it anymore.]
In the actual exit-counseling session, THAT person is the one you leave out of the picture until later... as the "victim" will get very defensive and clam up. Often women join cults to get a life that gives them more freedom and self-respect [in a cult!] than they get from their mate. Same with children - in an effort to escape their over-controlling and often religiously fanatical parents.
My favorite tactic is to take the side of the "victim" and they suddenly relate to me more than their family or friends! Why? Because they sense (not actually yet understanding it) I understand why they joined in the first place, while even they often didn't realize such a mind-boggling truth. But I have to warn the family I am going to do that in advance, or they will wonder what the hell I'm doing!
I know because I was raised a Baptist and I hated church (not God or the concept of God) and it was a way of getting back at the hypocrites that play invisible games. (LOL later I became a Foursquare pastor for several years after leaving the JWs because I now understood the whole thing.)
The world is not always what you think you are seeing... your mind and agenda gets in the way, and you yourself may be the very one that drove them into a cult. [Obviously this does not apply to born-ins.]
