Introducing Mrs Cedars...

by cedars 127 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Glander

  Here ! here!
• 

  MrsCedars

  Hello everybody. Thank you all for a very warm welcome.

  Juan, I really apologise for not responding to your questions sooner. As you may have already noticed, Cedars is very skillful with the keyboard, while it takes me an eternity to write something. So it’s not your fault.

  I did take Survey 2012, I think I was among the first (active) ones to take it. And I gave all the honest answers!!

  BTW, thank you for keeping Mr Cedars out of trouble. Good to have you just over the next hillside!

  Mouthy – I am your fan. You are the coolest Granny ever. I wish you could put sense into my Granny's head.

  3rdgen – Almost could have been, she was on the wrong continent at the time!!

  dreamgolfer – thank you. If I can help your wife I definitely will. I understand now how it feels being on both sides, and how hard the awakening is. Maybe she will realize the real truth when she is ready. All the best to you two.

  OPPO – thank you

  soft+gentle – thank you, for some reason I giggle every time I see your username, I don’t know what’s wrong with me! :)

  Simon – Thank you for welcoming me and for keeping this site that helps many. In a way you brought us all together.

  Glander – Cheers!!
• 

  jookbeard

  Mrs Cedars, how have you adapted as a women leaving the WTS, leaving behind friends and family etc, has it been a difficult time or did you make the transition with relative ease? the issues that I faced with my JW wife resulted eventually to our separation and divorce, how would you recommend leaving the Borg to other couples facing a similar scenario?
• 

  LoisLane looking for Superman

  Hello MrsCedars,

  I am happy you are here with your husband. It isn't so lonely that way.
• 

  MrsCedars

  Hello jookbeard.

  “how have you adapted as a women leaving the WTS, leaving behind friends and family etc, has it been a difficult time or did you make the transition with relative ease?”

  I am sorry to hear about your wife. I am sure you did everything you could for her.

  I still find it difficult at times. My entire family is in, and whenever we communicate they will try to in a way “witness” to me. I get scriptures thrown at me and when I try to reason with them they get emotional, because to them the Organisation = Jehovah, so it is not easy.

  My friends have been good in a way, they don't contact me so I don't have to explain myself to them, and if I do bump into them they are polite (you know how it goes). I have one friend that is also out so that makes things easier. What helped me to get out and deal with all the difficulties connected with it is the fact that the "truth" wasn't real.

  My life wasn't real. My friendships, everything wasn't real because it was based on something that looks beautiful in theory and from far away, but when you allow yourself to think about it and when you need to put it into practice you realise it is very faulty, and it is no different from other cults. I realised how human the WTS and individual congregations are, and that pleasing people was preventing me from being myself and from looking after my own wellbeing.

  “how would you recommend leaving the Borg to other couples facing a similar scenario?”

  I don't know whether I am the right person to give anyone advice. I was always respectful towards the opinions and choices of others. Another thing is, we are all different and we all react to things differently. Also, it depends on how indoctrinated a person is. For that reason, I still can’t talk about everything I know to my Mum. To the spouse still in I would say, be open-minded and non-judgemental. But if you have any doubts, it is for a reason. Don’t be scared to do your own research. If it’s the true religion it should stand up under test.

  And to the spouse that decides to leave I would say to be very patient and show lots of love for the one that is still in. Don’t try to force your newly acquired knowledge on the one that is still in; otherwise, all the effort to get him/her to leave will come across as an apostate attack, which will cause them to attack back (which will result in endless fights) or they will shut you out.

  One other thing that I remembered is whether the spouse reports everything to elders. If yes, then it will be very hard to do anything for your spouse, because they will give him/her all the wrong advice which will usually cause tension in the marriage. Everyone needs to wake up in their own time. In the meantime both will need to show love, patience and tolerance.

  Thank you Lois - I hope you find your Superman
• 

  jookbeard

  Thanks for that Mrs Cedars
• 

  whathappened

  Welcome, Mrs. Cedars and please share some recipes with us.
• 

  LoisLane looking for Superman

  Thank you. Me too... (((((((Hugs)))))))