Hi,
I'm not sure if this is the correct place to put this, but here goes.
I've posted a few times before about different subjects. In some of those posts I’ve mentioned that I’m gay, and in others I’ve referred to my wife and kids. I thought I’d share a bit more information to any who were curious about this.
Although I've felt same-sex attraction since puberty, as a born-in JW I constantly fought against those feelings and pretty much hated that aspect of my life. I even went so far as to get married in the congregation, hoping that would ‘straighten me out.’ Before the marriage, I confided my feelings with an elder. His advice? Get married and trust in Jehovah (!)
I consider myself very, very fortunate, though. Thirteen years of marriage and three children later, I cheated on my wife, confessed and revealed my gay feelings, felt horrible about what I did to my family, and waited for the expected divorce and disfellowshipping.
Neither happened.
The judicial committee felt I was repentant (I honestly felt contrite at the time) and didn’t disfellowship me. Nonetheless, I became completely inactive after the judicial meeting and never went to another meeting or any other JW function. Freedom!
When I came out to my wife after cheating on her, she confessed to me that she was gay also. It turns out that both of us, as born-in JWs, had gotten married for the same reason. She had also confided in an elder before the wedding, and had received the same advice as me! Of course, looking back on our relationship, we should have seen the many signs, but we had JW blinders on and were both trying our darndest to be 'right in Jehovah's eyes.'
So, what could have turned out to be a very hurtful experience ended up well for us. We continued living together for a few years as 'roommates' to raise our kids together, because as parents our children are the most important concern in our lives. The best part is, we both left the cult and got our kids out while they were still young.
My ex-wife and I are still good friends, and our kids have turned out just great.
Interestingly enough, my oldest daughter got married this year, to a great guy whose mom is a lesbian. As you can imagine, the reception was a bit unconventional; nonetheless, it was an atmosphere filled with lots of love and fun.
As a proud father (and now grandfather!) I just had to share a photo of my daughter and I dancing at her reception.