Same thing happened to me.
After a while, you realise you don't miss them anymore and it makes it easier to stop attending meetings altogether. So their shunning is ultimately a good thing, lol.
I think we are being shunned
by hoser 24 Replies latest jw friends
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tec
Congratulations on your success in your ongoing fade.
But I'm still sorry too, that you have to experience the shunning along with it.
Peace and strength to you both,
tammy
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exwhyzee
You probably aren't being shunned per say. Despite what they claim from the platform, it's a very " Out of Sight...Out of Mind " group of people. There is always someone else to talk to or include in things if you're not there. They spend their lives looking for new vicitms while once willing ones are dying on the vine before their very eyes. After over 20 years of being quite active and social at the same hall it took the elders nearly 3 years before they came looking for us. I think they were too embarrased to show their faces at our home after realizing how it was their actions that broke the camels back. Without saying anything to anyone, our last meeting was a Memorial and our phone stopped ringing immediately.
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Bubblegum Apotheosis
This means you were not shunned at one time, think of all the poor saps who attend meetings and field service for years. They were never invited to gatherings of the "righteous ones", poor friends had no spiritual rechargers to attach themselves to.
Ok now, If you want to avoid being shunned, learn a trade like plumbing, electrical, computer repair, finish carpentry, or small engine-appliance repairs. You might not get invited to a meal, but you are sure to get plenty of phone calls asking for free help!
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LongHairGal
HOSER:
Being you didn't say or do anything to raise red flags and weren't opinionated like I was, there has to be another reason you are being given the cold shoulder. You mention that you are caring for your family's needs. Unfortunately, this is enough to get you critiized in this religion. You can't win with these people. I often wondered if jealousy sometimes played a role in why some were criticized and others weren't.
Don't feel badly. Your family is more important.
If you aren't "reaching out" what this means (to the religion) is that they cannot exploit you. In my experience, this is the BOTTOM line.
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nugget
The loving judgement of the congregation continues. If you think you are being shunned you probably are and if you are being excluded from group gatherings then I would say that you definitely are persona non grata.
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blondie
I have found that when people miss a significant amout of meetings or field service, talk starts and even if there is a good reason, ill health, people treat you like you have leprosy, spiritual leprosy. Even if you go to all the meetings, spend 10 or more hours a month in d2d, and comment, some jws are jealous or start stories, listen to stories (rumours) and decide you are bad association. Just stick with the ones who love you.
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hoser
@ LongHairGal
you may be right it might just be jealousy that mrs hoser and me have the courage to stand up for ourselves and take care of our families needs FIRST.
I have been researching the topic of workplace bullying and what the WT does is very similar. If they can't "use" you they want to lose you
@ blondie
I think jealousy may be part of it. We have worked hard the last few years and have made modest financial advances. IMHO
mrs hoser never did feel welcome at gatherings, and I am finding that I have less and less in common with these people.
hoser
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King Solomon
It's amazing that the WTBTS has successfully transformed the most contrite and vacuous forms of social interaction (such as gossiping, forming cliques, rumors) into required activities! That's one way to deal with a gossip: promote their gossiping! They managed to invert, to flip-flop their placement on the respectibility scale, even DEMANDING that one engage in such to participate in the group! Talk about "up is down", "black is white" thinking!
Funny about announcing open season for shunning, where all the JWs simultaneously set their Shun Guns™ to "Ignore". FIRE AT WILL!!
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LongHairGal
Hoser and King Solomon:
I was "shunned" and regarded as an outcast by some while I was still active in the religion. This shunning routine is a "control mechanism' and it did not work on me. ALL that this nonsense accomplished was to make it easier for me to "fade" for the past eleven years!
It probably is "open season" for shunning but I am amused by all this. I sometimes see JW women I used to know in the stores and malls and they 'pretend' they don't know me. I just have a pleasant expression on my face and go about my business and act as if I don't know them. After all, many years have passed and it is quite conceivable that I might not recognize some of them who have not aged very well.
If these women weren't my friends all those years ago, why would it matter to me now?