Happy? What happens when you get in trouble for simple things like tracking a little dust on the bare tile floor? I suppose that makes a child very happy. Or, when they get a record or toy only to find that the hounders find something wrong with it, usually much weaker than the Sparlock thing we had a while ago. They get a record only to hear that Brother Hounder thinks it's improper to listen to something that weakly hints of normal humanity. Or, they cannot see a good movie because there is one scene where someone gets kissed on the cheek once. Like that's going to lead to fornication. (The movie is rated G.)
Then, what about the vacation killers? Try and go to Old Orchard Beach and see how long it takes for Brother Hounder to destroy the fun. Listen to him, you will be out in field circus instead of enjoying the train running near the campground, the big twisty slide there, Palace Playland, the ocean right on the border between crowded beaches and nothing to do, and L.L. Bean headquarters located a short drive away. You will attend the boasting session instead of roasting marshmallows on the campfire or exploring the campground. You will hear about what a sin it is to stay on the campground with a bunch of "bad associations" rather than sticking with other witlesses--usually in a motel or back home. Not to mention, you are using vacation time to explore Portland, Maine instead of going to your Grand Boasting Session.
Other things hounders love to do: Making your children pious-sneer during all school recesses instead of playing. No college. Requiring children to blow off activities like school sports or dances, and sometimes even class trips (especially the ones that might make you miss a boasting session or eat into field circus time). Inform children that they are not to associate with other children except to witless to them. Guilt them into the strictest interpretation of birthday, Christmas, and flag salute rules. And this is to make you happy?
