for those of you with family members still in...

by rather be in hades 17 Replies latest jw friends

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  Emery

  Thanks for asking rather be in hades,

  I am not rushing into anything as of yet. With today's Watchtower study though, it definitely turned things up a notch. Seeing the logical fallies, scriptures out of context, and hate being encouraged towards those "apostates" (former friends who have disagreed) really angered me. The Society used blanket statements to paint all those who diagree as "Jehovah's enemies". It made me want to disassociate myself right then and there, rather than fading.

  It's not an easy situation as I have had my entire association revolved around witnesses in "good standing". At this time I am branching out to co-workers and former friends in high school (thank goodness I wasn't home-schooled). I have also reached out to inactive witnesses who I know are never coming back and getting their take on things. The toughest thing I've had to deal with is my wife's family. She has a pioneer mother and I am pretty certain she would shun the both of us if we chose to fade. I continue praying and waiting for the right pieces to mend before the break away, thanks again rather be in hades.
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  lightreturns

  I want the org to go down even with my family still in it. I haven't faded yet, it's impossible at the moment since the C.O. is a family friend. He personally stops by my house weekly to drag me to meetings lol. He has a vested interest in me, since Im his precious newly baptized student. I have found ways to limit talks,and other responsibities by playing insane. He has gone to bat for me with talks, and things believing that I can't comprehend them. I've been baptized for 4 years, already want out do to the spiritual rating system. After the traveling overseer screamed on me for field service report I saw the light. They seem to believe that they can approach you anyway they like which is down right crazy. He's screaming "what are you doing" repeatly then grumbled,and I demanded the proper approach. If my family wants to stick around that's fine, but I won't be mind controlled into smiling etc. Next year I plan on moving so that I can start the fading process.
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  rather be in hades

  otwo: when i saw your post and the bate...lol. all i cold think was, "whaaa?"

  emery: my pleasure. i'm glad you have friends on the outside to lean on. it's important to get it all out. how did you end up finding the light?

  lightretrns: do you have people outside the cult to lean on for emotional spport? i'm curious how you've faked being insane lol.
• 

  Iamallcool

  it is better if they never joined the WT, but I cannot complain they quit smoking before they joined the borg. A huge majority of my non witness relatives smokes, well, I guess it is called blessing in disguise that I have never smoked a cig in my lifetime. I am not a very hungry apostate like you.
• 

  The Oracle

  Of course I would love to see the org crumble and die, just like I would celebrate any of the particularly harmful mind control cults demises.

  I have moved on with my life and can't devote as much time as I once did, but when I am able I do what I can to take positive steps to help others awake, and for those that have left to help them cope and thrive in their new lives.

  the Oracle
• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Welcome david jones and lightreturns!

  how badly do you want to see the org die?

  Really, really badly. Really.

  would you work actively towards the end of the watchtower society even with family members still in it?

  Not much I can actively do to end it. I'm more concerned about the welfare my family members.

  have any of you initiated the shunning for your own piece of mind?

  I have nothing to do with most JWs anymore. I think it was instrumental to my family that they saw the way I've been able to write so many people completely out of my life and rebuild a new life. I got a strong feeling that my parents and family were afraid that I would begin shunning them. But I haven't. Particularly with my parents, I've been proactive about calling and visiting. Sometimes the conversations will get a bit ackward, but I've learned how to redirect. I realize that it's touch-and-go. I don't know what the future holds. But so far I'm able to keep a relationship with them and my own sanity.
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  lightreturns

  rather be in hades: I told them that I had a brain stroke due to the stress of stage fright . I suffer from social anxiety,so it didn't seem too far fetched. There's nothing they can really say, if my brain is too damaged to be of service lol. Thankfully I have friends who are good with medical documents. Once I feel trapped, that's when I tend to become very creative. If Im giving a talk, I pretend to zone out, then start acting unbalanced then they back off. I do have family and friends out the cult that I can lean on for support. After the move,then comes the fake illess that prevents me from being at meetings,field service etc. It's a shame that I will have to claim an illness that prevents contact with others for fear it will spread. Providing this document will also help out with my mother and aunt who will wonder how I got all this free time. The society will work you regardless, so I need to limit how much.
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  rather be in hades

  billy: my misguided attempts to talk to my mom left me disgusted lol. it's sad, bt i'm happier without her in my life. hence the question. i can't keep my sanity arond her, but the dynamics of our relationship (if you can call it a relationship. i'd call it a dictatorship) aren't great at all and it's at a point where it's easier to scrap it. maybe if i wasn't so lazt i'd have eaten and i wouldn't be an ahole about it? :P

  lightreturns: wow, that's amazing. do what you have to, though i wonder how safe it is to have medical documents like that? either way, stay safe and stay ot of the borg! btw, amazingly ballsy of you to purposefully flub a talk lol. i dare you to start speaking in tongues ;)