Did You Have A Lot Of Meetings With The Elders? (page 3)

minimus

It seems some people always were in that back room. Certain families used to turn their kids to the elders all the time and tell on them.

00DAD

Yes, I was one of them. We had WAY too many meetings.

However, you no doubt mean when I was in the "hot seat."

We had one meeting. My marriage was falling apart and I went to "my friends" for help and spiritual assistance.

It lasted about 1/2 hour and then I was DF'd.

So much for help!

In the 3 years since not once has any of the elders from my former congregation done a single thing to help or even see how I am.

They are cowards.

When I was 16 and 17 it was nearly every Thursday night (TMS and Service meeting night). Many times the meetings weren't even about anything specific, just a chance for the elders to beat down a helpless kid. There was one particular elder behind it all, acting as an instigator, and he would never be personally involved in the meetings. He'd just run his mouth and stir the pot, and I'd get called into a meeting. My dad was an elder and was never in the meetings. It didn't register with me at the time, but he should have been as I was a minor. As it turned out in the end, they had their own meetings with him and would beat him down over me even though I'd done nothing wrong.

What all that resulted in was my family being so discouraged that my dad resigned as an elder for a year or two, I lost my best friend, my brother learned to be invisible, and poor mom just kept on regular pioneering at times with no friends at all.

Way to go, WTS! Show the love!

aquagirl

Yep.I had many 'spies' keeping a 'loving eye' on me..Spent many afternoons in the horrid little 'back room' with smelly elders.

oppostate

Yup. Just had another one a week ago.

I've had too many backroom meetings and "home" elder visits to count since stepping down, began to partake, and started making trouble.

MrFreeze

Only one, the day I left. I was a good little dubbie until then. Only one in the back room. About 9 or 10 visits to my house.

stillajwexelder

Yes - I used to call them - I was on the service committee and did a lot of shepherding

Lapuce

I was in a couple of them, and the elders came to my house a few times then I was DF'ed.

silent

I used to have lots of meetings with elders. They took issue wtih the most basic of things - namely me just trying to find a wife. She came here from a foreign country (she's a JW) and she stayed in the basement of the house while I stayed upstairs with my brothers who also live with me. They came unglued and said it, "Looked bad." I was ready to call off everything because I hated being in the spotlight. I finally wisened up and just said that after 40 years of dealing with it all - people ratting on me, certain people getting away with things others weren't allowed to, my wife's brothers getting sexually abused by JWs but nothing came of it (because the perps were unbaptized), people spying, my having to take sedatives just to attend a meeting, phone calls about low service time, taking 3 different anti-depressants over the course of 10 years, etc. I just had finally had enough. Surprisingly my depressive episodes have all but vanished, I'm married to my wonderful wife, no more calls, no more guilt trips, no more sedatives, no more feeling like I wasn't good enough, etc. Although we do both suffer from a terrible loss of self-esteem that permeates everything we do and bothers us daily to the point of torment, we still manage and do the best we can. Looking back, growing up a JW was extremely hurtful, debilitating, and it's left us both damaged goods. We hurt a lot inside, but we get up every morning and try our best. If a person sticks to the bible 100% and doesn't add anything and mean ANYTHING (no hourly requirement, no titles for levels of service, no prohibition on college (how in the heck are you supposed to provide for your family and afford health insurance working mential cleaning jobs?) and speaking to people as your heart motivates you to instead of trying to meet some hourly goal, then it feels good and you can see how simple serving Jehovah really is. Man has to add all kinds of things that spoils it for everyone. I see it as protection for the group, not the individual. I mean after all, if Jehovah protects us individually, then how do you tell that to someone who was as JW and execute by the Nazi's. I honestly think what it is, is when Jesus comes back to clean the earth, the WTBTS can say, "We did everything you asked." and covered their rear-ends at the expense of many humble individuals whose hearts and spirits were broken with rigid rules that were created, applied unfairly, and enforced only to a level based upon your service time - none of which the Bible backs up.

Interestingly enough, my wife grew up literally on the other side of the world and in the southern hemisphere and her experiences of being shunned and mistreated (especially for going to school) were the same as mine. And once she finished college, Bethel in her country came knocking and wanted her to work for them. How can they do this when they are busy telling everyone they shouldn't go to school? How did their lawyers earn their degree to practice law? By divine inspriation? I just don't get it why it's okay for some and not for others. We're suffering out here and nobody seems to care.

Sorry for my OTP. I finally don't have to feel bad for being called in for an unfair elders meeting. I told them I hated being in the library and being seen in there and they called me in anyway. I almost killed myself over it - it hurt so bad. I still talk to people about happy things concerning the Bible and a new life and new world where wrongs will be righted. I do this out of my own enjoyment in my heart. I don't turn in my time because I don't like them keeping record of it and using it as a guide to judge me. My time is between Jehovah and myself and I enjoy letting him see into my heart that I'm an honest-hearted person trying really hard to do the right thing. I told the brothers a year ago if they would pay for my anti-depressants and sedatives, I would be able to go back. So far, nobody has offered to pay...

Iamallcool

Silent, interesting story.

Did You Have A Lot Of Meetings With The Elders?