Would you ever go back for the fake friends ?

Pitchess Co-Gen

To quote the great rapper T.I this statement hit home : "Never forget the people who stayed when everyone else left.. Stay true to your team"

I had a lot of people leave my side three years ago; because some of my "phony homies" began to listen to my ex-finance spreading rumors about me and my family. So to make a long story short I lost a lot of "friends" from my old way of life, but I picked up some true homies , and reconnected with a true homie in the long run.

I just had to ask that question because some of us were popular while we were in or we weren't the social butterflies. Tell me your stories on losing your fake friends because I learn from all of you.

JakeM2012

I wasn't a social butterfly, but I did host alot of "get to gethers" at my house that included everyone from the congregation. We wrote invitations to everyone making sure that no one was left out, even inactive or irregular etc. That brought some criticism. I always paid the postage instead of giving the invitations out at the hall, I think it means more to people when they receive it in the mail anyway.

My house and property could handle 200 + people and parking easy as we did it many times. These get to gethers cost me alot of money a hugh investment in labor to get things ready for a gathering, but I'm not complaining. I felt like it was my "elder statement" that I did not like clicks.

When it comes to the phony friends, interesting that few invited us to their homes, not that I was looking for a revite. Since I moved from the city 7 years ago I haven't had anyone call to see or catch up etc.

I'm still struggling because my social life was so centered on the my close and personal phony friends, and now that has been a drastic change to not having any friends. I have not given up on mankind, but it is a slow process to replant new friends, but I am slowing making headway.

It is interesting how low you feel when you find out that your "friends" were not friends at all but just conditional associates, and I haven't even been DF'ed or dissed. Well that just means more cake for me, or maybe more wine.

OnTheWayOut

I remember one Summer month, my wife and I were invited to a whole bunch of
outdoor "gatherings." I knew I was not that popular, but was invited because
I was an elder.

I knew my Kingdom Hall friends were not really close friends. I had a few
close friends at the Hall, or from previous Halls, but the vast majority were
kiss-asses or friends because we were supposed to be friends.

When I faded away, I heard the occasional "Tell OTWO we miss him" through my
wife. I have no anger toward these "friends" but I don't really feel close to
them. I don't really miss them.

I have made great true friends on JWN and thru a local meetup group of ex-JW's.
We have gone down different belief paths and it doesn't matter to us. We are
free to believe or not believe different things about God, politics, education,
employment, whatever. It's much better.

I could never go back.

blindnomore

Jake, your above comment should have been mine. Except I got DF'ed for letting elders know what bunch monstrous interragators they are to young people. It turned out that was the best thing happened to me. They were never your friends in the first place but fellow cult members who hurt you every way they can for the sake of their cult leaders. I feel like I just woke up from the worst nightmere.

I rather not have any friends if I have to.

finally awake

No - if they aren't real friends, then I don't want to have pretend to be someone I"m not just to have someone to hang out with.

apostatethunder

Go back? I couldn’t even if I tried, which is not the case.

I am sure all my “friends” would drop me like a hot potato the moment I got disfellowshipped without even knowing the reason why.

I still meet with some of them from time to time, but I am very aware that it is a superficial relationship and take it for what it is.

rip van winkle

I found out some time ago just how many real friends I had with JW's.

That being said, there are 2 or 3 that I would stay friends with, but when the sh*t hits the fan, they won't be mine.

I WILL NEVER GO BACK.

Better to be alone than to live a LIE!!!

blondie

I don't need to go back to find fake friends....you can find them everywhere. The important thing is once you realize they are fake friends, to move on and find better, perhaps learning what to look for and what not to look for. To paraphrase a scripture, why return to the vomit like a dog. Don't say "I only have one friend" but cherish and support that friend.

Blondie