Thieves will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

by Paralipomenon 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • Paralipomenon
    Paralipomenon

    But they sure can avoid getting bored to death by it.

    I was going through some old memory boxes I found this:

    I picked it up while I was still considered a good Witness and knew enough to hang onto it. Later when I was trying to fade, I would show up a bit late to the convention and pin this on.

    It's amazing what you can get away with having one of these pinned to your suit.

    I would show up at lunch, say hello to the people in my congregation and they always asked where I was sitting. You know, to be nosey.

    "Oh I'm over in section X but it's just my case, I'm on security detail for the parking lot so I only get to hear the session."

    After that I would go sit in Section X for the first part, so all the congregation busy bodies would see me there, then I would get up and leave out the back. They started putting attendants on the doors after the sessions started but most often they didn't question someone with a blue ribbon exiting.

    I got a few raised eyebrows from elders who knew I shouldn't have been given one, but never had anyone question why. In fact I hadn't even signed it.

    Ah good memories. Are the ribbons still blue? I should put on a suit print off the recent badge and wear it while protesting. That would throw the witnesses for a major loop.

  • Paralipomenon
    Paralipomenon

    My wife had the suggestion to get a makeshift donation box that she can sit next to in a cheap fold out chair and look bored. Witnesses wouldn't know what to make of it.

  • Diest
    Diest

    Thats awesome....never quite made it to attendent.

  • Nambo
    Nambo

    When did they issue attendants with ribbons?, or is that ust a Canadian thing?

    I was allways an attendants but all we got in the UK was the paper badge.

    We where allways attendants because it meant we missed the sessions so had an excuse to go to another assembly down in Plymouth to catch up on that fine Spiritual food we had missed, oh and to see if the Sisters down there where more interested in us than ones in London were.

  • designs
    designs

    What do you think you can get for it on EBAY.

  • kurtbethel
    kurtbethel

    Designs - Ebay, my first thought when I saw that.

  • I Want to Believe
    I Want to Believe

    Not only did we have easy-to-forge paper badges in Alaska, but we only got them for the DC so even legitimate attendants at the CA and SA would either reuse their DC attendant badges or print off their own little homemade badges just so they could wear their little "attendant" title.

  • Iamallcool
  • undercover
    undercover

    I remember those. I think I had the ribbon once or twice. They did away with them at some point. Then it was just an 'attendant' badge that protruded below your regular badge. I don't know what they do now. Usually you know when someone's an attendant because they hold stupid signs that say, "Keep Moving" or "Quiet!". Dumbasses...

    I had the displeasure of attending a convention session in the not too distant past and I noticed that some of the attendants were wearing earpieces. Sorta like Secret Service cats... I found it quite comical. I could see it going like this...

    "Section 110: Report"
    "Setcion 110 reporting, Brother"
    "How many in attendance in your section?"
    "212"
    "Did you count the babies?"
    "uh, no... they're asleep and aren't old enough to..."
    "You count all breathing bodies, awake, asleep, old, young or animal"
    "Yes sir"
    "Now get out to the parking lot... it's almost lunch and we don't want anyone to escape"

  • Paralipomenon
    Paralipomenon

    That's too bad that they got rid of the ribbons.

    When I got this badge I was in charge of a section. I put my case and books on an isle seat and then went roaming. When I came back to my seat (late for the morning session) I found that a JW family removed my case and books and moved them in so they could have the isle.

    That was a new one for me, I don't think I would be balsy enough to just move someone's seat. I thought about using my amazing Jehovah ribbon powers to make them move, but I was planning on taking off after the last count was done and didn't want to be remembered.

    At our assembly we didn't count the people, but we had to report in how many empty seats and they had a number for each section. That made it really easy. I just go back and make up a number.

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