"Life is a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the easier the shit goes down your throat." -- unidentified vagrant, Huntington Beach, California, circa 1990
Thanks for the new light, Scully!
wt 8/15/03: Easing Nature - Is it for Christians?
by Scully 45 Replies latest jw friends
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2SYN
HEHE, at first I thought this was about spanking the monkey, then I realized what it was really about. Excellent parody Scully!
Now everohne sing along with me - "THE LIGHT GETS BRIGHTER....LALALAH!"
[SYN], UADA - Unseen Apostate Directorate of Africa - For Great Justice! -
Perry
Skully,
Don't marry SixofNine, even though he's my best buddy on this board.....marry me.
That was beautiful writing in classical you-know-what prose. I laughed my pajamas off. Thanks for the fererence in the recent thread. This was before my ad"vent" on this board.
Luv your posts,
Perry
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BeautifulGarbage
I must have missed this thread when my computer crashed.
I'm trying to type this with tears of laughter running down my cheeks. My kids think that Mom has finally popped her cork.
Scully, if you don't marry Six or Perry, please consider my proposal of marriage!
Andee
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onacruse
I wish I had gotten in line with the new light. Instead, I harbored private opinions and eased myself whenever I thought no one would see. Naturally, I felt very guilty, which only increased my need to ease. Soon I became addicted to easing, regularly indulging myself in this detrimental behavior. Sometimes I would ease 6 times a day. I even deteriorated to the point of watching other people ease.
Needless to say, my easing was discovered, and the elders requested my presence at a committee meeting. I prayed for help with my easing, and was looking forward to loving assistance. When I arrived (having just eased outside the KH), the elders laid me out on the library table and took turns with a colonoscope. After several lengthy examinations, they found absolutely nothing, which was more than enough evidence, and now I'm history!
My life now would be so much easier if I had not been easing!
Edited by - onacruse on 7 July 2002 2:36:35
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Swan
I love this line:
our dear children who do not yet have Bible-trained bowels
Onacruse:
If there weren't two witnesses to the act, it didn't happen. The burden of proof is on the JC to find two persons who witnessed it. Someone in the next stall wouldn't count, as their view is obviously blocked! Also, surely we cannot accept as a witness someone who was probably committing the very act they accused you of.
Entering a stall or a room with equipment for this purpose should not be misconstrued. Many people enter such private places to pray, as it is the only quiet place available. Perhaps that was even the same kind of private place where Jesus went to pray.
In addition, a colonoscopy may not even be an approved medical procedure. Like blood transfusions, vaccinations, and other medical procedures condemned at one time, it may have been a subject of one of the many fluctuations of new light. They need to research old issues of the Golden Age and show that it is currently an accepted medical procedure before they can use it in a JC.
However, if you didn't scream during the procedure, you may not have much recourse for an appeal.
Tammy
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thecarpenter
Hold on boys and girls, Bethel Elder Jesus Cano caught onacruse easing himself with his Cano Cam and this was used as hard evidence against him. Elder Cano has been studying this evidence carefully every night for the past two weeks and assured us it is authentic.
He has distributed this video to many of his bethel elders friends and they assure us this is onacruse. Sorry onacruse, you won't be able to appeal.
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Leolaia
Don't forget that toilet paper has pagan origins, appearing first in China in the 1300s.
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Gerard
BRILLIANT.
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Violia
lol and JT posted on it too. lol Scully. I love these spoof's they just show how stupid Wt reasoning is.
He has distributed this video to many of his bethel elders friends and they assure us this is onacruse. 
