I'm all torn up Inside

Patriot

I've had two nights wihtout being able to sleep. I've been turning all night.

I'm having images of my old days in the gulf. From first being dropped in at 1500 feet to the stupid republican guard holding there ground.

I see and feel the blackening sky as the oil wells were lit on fire and the intense heat they produced in an already oven like country.

I feel so bad for my old comrades as they encounter the "new enemy" and feel as if I abandoned them.

I should be there I keep thinking...I should be there..I should..I should....*

My old Unit the "Mountaineers" 10th Mountain Division out of NY are under heavy and intense fire...I cant get my mind off of it, I really can't.

"Jesus", I keep thinking.." should I go back"? "Should I re-enlist and join my old unit"?

I'm so sad right now I even have tears in my eyes....what to do?
I feel like if it's unfinished business..I should go back...but I don't know what to do.

Mav.- Thinking of my old platoon "Wolverines"

((((Patriot))))
I am so sorry. I cannot give you any advice on this. Just let you know I am here and understand how frustrating it is to have images in your head that will not leave is awful, and to not have a decision settled is so frustrating. It does sound like you need to talk to someone about it though. Surely there is someone that can talk to you, you are still involved in the military right?

As for sleeping, try drinking some herbal tea, not ginseng Read a book with the lights on. I find that leaving the lights on until I am so dead tired helps to prevent any weird catches of light that could initiate a bad memory. I hope that you can come to a decision. Smooch
wendy

Billygoat

((((Patriot))))

LDH

to Mav. Email me if you want.

You might be having some type of survivor's guilt, or some manifestation of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.....

I really feel for those guys and gals over there. In a way, I don't want the news cameras in their faces. It makes me think about it too much. I could only imagine how a Veteran feels while watching.

Certainly under these circumstances you are correct to have your self doubt....After all, a soldier has been trained to fight....and the fight is just beginning.

Lisa
Semper Fi Class

Francois

Suggest you follow your heart. Avoid anything that will cause you to live a life of regret later; watch your karma.

Listen closely to your inner spirit, in every moment of indecision, of great moment, of conflict, if you listen closely enough you can hear the Spirit say, "This is the way."

Best,
Francois

NOTE TO GOVERNING BODY: You've been challenged to a debate, boys. Dont you have ANY balls?

larc

Patriot,

I don't know if this will help or not, but you did the best you knew how to do at the time. That is all a person can do. We can all look back and think about the fact that we could have done it better, but, we did do the best we know how and that was all be could do.

Beck_Melbourne

Mav

I think its good that you are reaching out for comfort right now...it sounds like you have been thru a lot...and I wish there was more that could be said to help you deal with the emotional anguish you are going thru. I'm sorry that I don't have the right words...or any background experience to be able to share with you. I'm so ill equipped with military things.

I only hope that you take up the offer to email people...as there seems to be a lot of support and kindness out there...and its good to know that you can 'tap in' when you feel like things are getting on top of you...even if it is just to get stuff off your chest...I know that always helps me.

Beck

[email protected]

ashitaka

I have nothing to comfort you with, man, but remember, your bros who are fighting are just following what they wanted to do. You can't be everywhere at once. Don't regret what you can't control. You didn't know this was going to happen.

Don't be guilty for them. Your obvious love for them is enough.

BTW, I think reading posts like yours is the REAL reason I come to this site......REAL feeling.

Take it easy, man.

ashi

ladonna

((((((Mav))))))))

Take Care of yourself. It is obvious you are having some type of PTS reaction as been mentioned by others. If it doesn't ease up, go see a doctor....please?? But we are all here to support you as well.

Love,
Ana

Valentine

((((((((((((patriot))))))))))
I know what it's like, PTSD. Do you have my email? My husband is a viet vet-my son 82nd Airborne.I also have an 'adopted son' in the 10th mountain div. right now.
Sometimes a smell a song a pic can trigger this.Im here for you anytime mail me.luv,T

Todays Affirmation:
The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.