When I was married, my ex was going through some things and thought we should start going to a church. ie that god was punishing her in some way or at least not blessing her and if we went to church, all our problems would be solved.
So we went on a round, trying different churches over a few months. Mostly non-denominational. Even tried a Lutheran one because that's what my grandparents were. None I really liked. Lutherans seemed identical to Catholics. To me at least. A lot of quaint rituals. And whereever we went, it's SO different than the JWs. Not necessarily bad or good, but different. Some bad, some good.
I wanted to hear what they had to say so I could see whether this was going to be a belief I wanted to accept or not. But it's not like the JWs. I found doctrine to be a bit shallow. It's not like when we studied Watchtowers and got into it. It was little sprinklings of belief here and there. Maybe that was the nature of "non-denominational". While I wanted to hear more, often times they'd have these extended musical breaks where somebody would perform. Like 20-30 minutes it seemed. Some churches seemed more about the music and singing than the actual sermons.
And that is another thing. This new-agey Christian music some of them play. Ugh. I grew up on hard rock and blues. Couldn't stand this stuff. So wimpy, so bland, so lacking of soul. I personally would rather have some old timey hymns or even some of the old JW songs than that stuff. Or a gospel choir that kind of rocked. And you see the church politics at work. Some member loves it. Or always wanted to be up on stage singing and playing and their instrument and this is their chance to feel like a star. So they push for it.
In the end, none of it seemed good. We were taught there's no Trinity and to worship God, not Jesus and I still believed that. And every one seemed to be against what I still believed at the time.
Don't mean to pry and if you don't want to answer, don't. But it sounds from your stories like somebody had it in for you specifically. Not believing your ex was living with somebody else? I mean, he disappeared not you. He was the inactive one, why didn't they believe you, the one that stuck around? And why was there a public argument that seemed to center on you?
Did you do something to piss somebody off? Turn somebody down for a date and then he had it in for you and influence with the elders too? I've heard tales like that on this board before.
I know about people carrying grudges. I always had a worldly side to me that equaled my good JW side. Nothing really "bad", just not following all the "a good christian might want to avoid..." things. And I think people wanted my brother and I to conform more or be punished for worldly things we did (concerts, beer, rock music, working out, going to college, etc.) But their trying to make us change didn't work. So they avoided us and we still didn't seem bothered by it. So it got worse and some people were downright hateful of us it seemed.
Congregations can be different though. Depends on the elders in charge. Some congs would disfellowship and make people wait at least a year before being reinstated. I heard of others reinstate after a couple of months. Blue-collar areas seem worse. These elders are peons in real life and then they get to be boss when they are elders and don't know how to handle the power.
