Worst Day of my life

by BU2B 40 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  King Solomon

  Thanks for the update, and you're right: you cannot convince people of anything they don't want to hear; conversely it's dead simple to sell people a message of what they WISH to be the truth.... Sad that humans have that capability of self-delusion, but they DO, and people are able to exploit that weakness to their own advantage.

  He also lowered telling the elders to just a if you want, status.

  That whole "selective enforcement when it comes to the family of elders" deal is incredibly maddening to me: I served as a Captain in the USAF about 10 years ago, and there were some violations of sub-ordinates where you absolutely could NOT "play it by ear" or do anyone favors, without facing getting punished for not following organizational policy. JWs follow that whole "rank has it's privileges" BS thinking which has been purged from many other organizations namely for what it leads to: abuse of power. Meanwhile, the R&F JW is told that sharing in the secret is tantamount to sharing in the sin... Such a double-standard, where elders are empowered to sweep matters under rugs...

  Anyway, play it as you must, and plot moving forward with your life: you are young, and you've got your whole life ahead of you. It may be you can only save yourself (which is sad, but often the reality), but it's better to know that now than later so as to decide which efforts are simply tilting at windmills, and throwing good money/time after bad.
• 

  Aware!

  Jwfacts has everything about the UN scandal. I would suggest you print out the letters and tell your dad to call and confirm this with the UN. They just talked about the UN being the beast the harlot rides last WT study! Is the WT part of the harlot for associating with them?

  http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/united-nations-association.php
• 

  diamondiiz

  If you're in your mid twenties you have A LOT of life ahead of you. Since you learned TATT at this age you know very well that you will not last in the lie for the rest of your life which only means that the chances of loosing everyone is very high.

  Worst case scenario: If your wife doesn't wake up (whether this year or several years from now) and you do break up, don't feel sympathy for her and let her take your child away from you. If you do get to that point, use JW divorce pamphlet to your advantage and fight for child's custody and his/her rights to not only have freedom to any medical treatment but also freedom of religion so that if she wins the custody you will also be part of decision making regards to the child's beliefs.

  I hope that doesn't happen, but you can't ignore that this may be an outcome from her reaction. Think carefully how to proceed as you will probably deal with elders sooner or later, be it by force or by "choice". The truth will eat at you so don't be fooled that you can pretend to do the jw routing indefinitely even if you calm the waters now.
• 

  daniel-p

  BU2B,

  My heart is right there with you. The same as hundreds of others here, I suspect. Always remember that. Although now I'm sure you feel very, very alone, you are not. I, too, have gone through the lone-thinking Aposta-transformation at the risk of losing everyone in my life. That was about seven years ago. I'm still married to my wife, who believes but is not active. Whenever she tries to be active it causes trouble in oure marriage. I don't know what the future holds. We have a 2-year-old daughter. If it wasn't for her, I would seriously be considering leaving, because I honestly don't know if it's possible for two people who hold such differeng beliefs to be happy together. The past 7 years have shown that to be true, at least to an extent. Right now, the pain of separation and of fighting over our daughter is the primary thing keeping us together. So just remember that, although there is no doubt that life sucks at the moment, you are not alone.
• 

  blindnomore

  He also lowered telling the elders to just a if you want, status.

  That whole "selective enforcement when it comes to the family of elders" deal is incredibly maddening to me: I served as a Captain in the USAF about 10 years ago, and there were some violations of sub-ordinates where you absolutely could NOT "play it by ear" or do anyone favors, without facing getting punished for not following organizational policy. JWs follow that whole "rank has it's privileges" BS thinking which has been purged from many other organizations namely for what it leads to: abuse of power. Meanwhile, the R&F JW is told that sharing in the secret is tantamount to sharing in the sin... Such a double-standard, where elders are empowered to sweep matters under rugs...

  Unfortunetely, their abuse and hyporitical, immature behavior will get only worse.

  Anyway, play it as you must, and plot moving forward with your life: you are young, and you've got your whole life ahead of you. It may be you can only save yourself (which is sad, but often the reality), but it's better to know that now than later so as to decide which efforts are simply tilting at windmills, and throwing good money/time after bad.

  BU2B, I am sorry. Best regard to you.
• 

  moshe

  And tomorrow or next week or even next year, when you least expect it , you come home, you find out the locks are changed with a court restraining order issued against you and the banks accounts have been emptied/closed- It can fall apart that fast. Once you threw the brick through the WT glass house, there is no fixing what you said. Hopefully you can go back in the house and collect a suitcase full of clothes before the sheriff's deputy says, "times up".

  Who has the power in your marriage? The WT leaders- yes, the elders at the KH ?- yes. your elder father inlaw?- YES- and what about you? As you have discovered, very little authority.

  Go to an attorney before she does and find out how to protect yourself.
• 

  Scott77

  	THen I brought up organ transplants, from approved, to banned, back to approved. He said "well the slave rarely comes out and says you CAN or CANT do something they usually leave it up to individuals" THIS IS JUST FALSE! He should know better. I said If things keep changing how can they be so dogmatic!
  	BU2B

  Hi BU2B,

  You are on the right track. Senseble, logical, reasonable and unbiased thinking is all what we need to discern the truth about the Watchtower -sponsored version of the 'truth'. In a wonderful way, you are helping your father indirectly.

  Scott77
• 

  Ding

  Don't try to cover a lot of things all at once.

  The JW gets overwhelmed and sees the discussion as a massive attack.
• 

  jemba

  Wow this is so hard for you BU2B.

  I am so sick of the hold the JWs have over us even when we are through.

  Even though faded I am going through shunning by my parents and siblings at the moment. I cant imagine how I would be if I didnt have my Husband and kids out with me.

  Sending lots of hugs and positive energy your way.

  Keep talking to us and dont give up.
• 

  skeeter1

  Wow! What a stressful time for you.

  I tried for a few years just to tell my JW family a few of the points you raised, and only to get the "It's the Truth, the closest thing out there" argument.

  Then, I came to a realization. THEY NEED the religion as much as the religion needs them. Each of my JW family members are seriously broken people. They MUST cling to the Truth, because it is ALL they have. For my elderly parent, it would be too cruel to take him away from it. For, it would be a realization that he wasted his life. It gives him a social structure. THe more the JWs have vested in the Truth, the harder they will stay in it.

  I suggest you totally lay low with all JWs on JW matters. Go to a meeting here & there to help them realize that you are not against God.

  Perhaps if you do discuss anything at all, discuss only injustices with your wife. Pedophilia and spouse abuse should hit a nerve with her. Discuss it with your daughter in mind.

  Skeeter