I don't think I could handle a fade. Sooner or later the truth would be found out. I have yet to come out, but when I do, I'll probably DA myself without telling anyone why. Any comments?
Is Fading Emotionally Taxing?
by Aware! 41 Replies latest jw friends
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joyfulfader
Yes fading is taxing because you have to pretend a lot especially if you live near or work with active JWs. I am planning on moving eventually and leaving no forwarding address. I know several people who have faded to the point that no one bothers them anymore. It's a tough call. I would loooove to write a letter but the blackmailers price is too high. I added the joyful part to my screen name not because I like fading but because I am so happy to have made the decision to stop taking all the crap.
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Aware!
I just want to get it over with quick and fast forward time to my graduation, getting a job, moving out, and finally DA myself. I'm finding it real hard to slack off because of pressure to do more (I have a position) and be the model JW. My stepdad is an elder and he loves it, and I would hate to make him lose his position because it keeps him in check. He would take it out on me.
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joyfulfader
I remember those days. I was 18, reg pioneering, dad was PO. Lots of pressure to live up to unattainable standards. I always did try to be the perfect witness but always managed to feel like crap in the process because I could never BE that perfect person. I personally could never have left then. My father would have made my life miserable and I didn't have the inner fortitude that I have now. Fortunately now he has mellowed and I can move forward but now I am 40. Took 20 yrs to get the strength to just fade. Are you going to college? I wish I had the answer to your dilemma. I dont. But just know I empathize with your plight.
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Aware!
Are you in college?
Yes, I am. I have two years left to go, and I'm scared. I can tell you what I'm majoring in in a PM if you want.
I always did try to be the perfect witness but always managed to feel like crap in the process because I could never BE that perfect person.
I remember praying to Jehovah to just kill me because I could never live up to His WT standards.
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joyfulfader
Sure you can PM me :)
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Aware!
Thanks! I just sent it :)
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zeb
So your dad would 'take it out on you'.
I havemet a few elders who were 'hard-core'. a big difference between that and being a caring person.
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Aware!
@zeb: Yeah, like my life miserable.
Edit: @zeb, I just replied, thanks.
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joyfulfader
PM for u