The ''petty'' Elder with his stupid rules.
by RULES & REGULATIONS 10 Replies latest jw friends
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Aware!
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EndofMysteries
It seems to do it on internet explorer and firefox works better. if you are able to highlight your post and clicking the 'bold' icon changes it all, then it will post, if it doesn't, then it'll be blank.
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RULES & REGULATIONS
My uncle ( who was an elder for over 40 years ) passed away in March of 2012. We lived close to each other and any favor he needed I would do. In his last months I would take him to Doctor appointments and spend as much time with him as possible.
I've been asked to be a pallbearer for all my family funerals. This time I was not asked to be a pallbearer for my uncle. (I haven't been to any meetings in over 9 months.)
A new Minsterial Servant who came to our congregation 6 months ago ( who hardly knew my uncle ) was asked. My aunt and family probably had me on the list but were over-ruled by the self-righteous Elder who gave the talk and prayer. All the pallbearers were baptised members of his congregation. They had plenty of nephews who could of been asked but chose not to include them.
I'm not mad at my aunt or my cousins. I'm mad at how petty this Elder was! What was the problem with me walking out the casket of my uncle and walking it less than 50 feet to the waiting hearse ?
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snare&racket
This is disgusting. I would tell your family how much this hurt you, if they utter any indication that they were told this by the elder I would go and see a lawyer. I really would.
I had stopped attending for around a year when my friend asked me to be best man. I said yes. A few weeks before the wedding, a neighbouring congregation elder told my friend the wedding could not be in the hall if I was the best man. Sadly my friend accepted the view of the elder. He came to me crying and I understood his dilemma, I told him not to worry and that I was totally ok with it, after all I kept reminding myself how fortunate I was to not be my friend, to not be that elder, to not be that elders child or grandchild, for I was free of the JWs.
But in all honesty, had it been a funeral, I think I would have been on fire with anger.
I decided to go to that elder, he welcomed me to his home like I was his favourite son, then we sat down and I told him everything, from miracle wheat to rand cam and the UN. He at first suggested I could be being used by Jehovah to "clean out such acticities from bethel".... wow.... an elder deems me unfit as best man, but then suggests god is using me...ME...to clean his house. Alas, within an hour he decided I was a bad apple and asked me to stay away from meetings. These men are big fish in very small ponds, they cant dictate such things as that funeral, if it still pains you, make it pain them! Go to a lawyer or write to bethel and try to get something in writing. -
moshe
Your uncle never knew the difference- forget it.
--go buy a $300 million Powerball ticket and get lucky- then see how important this personal slight was to you.
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undercover
At least you knew about his death and funeral. Not to make light of your situation - I can see that it hurt, I would have been upset as well - but so many here have stories of not hearing about a family member's death until some time after the funeral. Imagine not being informed of a favorite uncle's death until much later.
Just goes to show what a cult the WTS/JW religion really is.
Condolences on your loss...
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cedars
RULES - I can understand your frustration. Some elders have a real "privilege mentality", and everyone must be deemed worthy in their eyes for even the most menial tasks. It's quite nauseating, but ultimately you have the last laugh because you won't be wasting your life in servitude to a cult like most of them will. If your uncle had ever had the opportunity to discover the REAL truth, I'm sure he would have been proud of you for that.
Cedars
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steve2
I understand your indignation and hurt. Good on you for crediting your aunt with perhaps wanting you to be a pallbearer but being overruled by local elders.
Thank goodness you realize the religion is a sham - imagine being hurt this way and still believing it is the truth. Go well!
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oppostate
@R&R,
I think Moshe is right. It does make sense to try and forget the slight but really, personally, to me things like this are like a knife in one's gut.
I'm so sorry you and your family had to put up with this elder's b u ll s h it rules!
Really, they are the WTS rules and the only comfort I can offer is that you s h a r e this with anyone and everyone you have a chance to.
If you expose the insensitivity to others outside the cult you may save someone from falling prey to it.
I understand that to some, who can "rise above it," such slights may not be so important.
But I can empathize with the pain and anguish that the legalistic pharasaic petty rules of elders cause.
And it is so by design. It was designed by the petty and pharisaic minds of people like Fred Franz who didn't seem to give a rat's a s s about anyone else and their feelings.
This mentality is a disease that gets passed on by the studying Watchtower publications with mind controlled Watchtower believers.