Elect Your GB Member Here & Now.

by Englishman 15 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    This is just for fun, but imagine if you will the following scenario.

    The GB are dropping like flies and the remainder are desperate to find some replacements before the whole shebang is taken over by non-annointed ones.

    News comes in of a middle-aged anointed Bro who sounds as if he will fit the bill perfectly. No-one at Brooklyn has met him yet, so they send for him to be interviewed with a view to him sitting on the GB if approved.

    On the flight to New York the prospective GB newbie suffers a heart attack, and as he expires he drops his wallet under the seat, the wallet also contains a letter with the details of his forthcoming interview.

    By an amazing coincidence, the person sat immediately behind the victim is an active poster from JW Discussion. He spots the wallet, and upon reading its contents he decides that he will impersonate the defunct would-be GB member in the hope of eventually becoming part of the GB himself. In so doing he intends to put right many of the wrongs that are in force in Brooklyn.

    His subterfuge is successful and the JWD member gets a seat on the GB. He is now in a position to slowly use his influence to bring about much-needed change in the policies of the WTBTS.

    My question is twofold. Who from JWD would you most like to see on the GB and what policy would you like him to tackle first?

    Englishman.

  • ladonna
    ladonna

    Englishman,

    Great post! Funny, but also very deep.

    Firstly I have to think of "who" would be sneaky enough to do such a thing, and that's hard to do.

    But I cannot choose between Farkel, Amazing and AlanF.
    Each of these men are brilliant in their own right, but I do not sense the much needed cunning.

    Therefore, I select........Ozzie!

    That is who I would like to see work to put right many things, but first and foremost, to stop the sexual predators among the JW system, making sexual offences known to authorities immediately, and look into the physical abuse of children.

    Just my opinion....
    Ana


    Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste.
    —Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • Celia
    Celia

    Farkel, AlanF, Norm, Kent, Amazing, Metatron...

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Oops...wrong section, sorry.

    I tend to go along with yopu Celia, but why do you feel that these guys would do such a good job?

    Englishman.

  • flower
    flower

    They'd be booted out of there faster than it took them to get rid of Ray Franz.

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    Celia: Thanks for the nomination: "Farkel, AlanF, Norm, Kent, Amazing, Metatron ..." But, I think we would end up killing each other before we could do any governing or make any decisions.

    I renominate as Follows:

    AlanF: Oracle and Supreme Doctrine Inventor - Killer of Idiots
    Kent: The Enforcer and Surreme Police Commander
    Farkel: Keep the JWs laughing while AlanF reinvents Doctrine
    Metatron: Voice of reason and Supreme Marketing Strategist
    Refiner: Activity Commander - keep JWs away from the public
    E-Man: Teach JWs to think ... using Dry British Humor
    JanH: Help the JWs deal with and develop opposing opinions
    Larc: Teach JWs to cope with transition to real life
    S/L: Chase down / prosecute remaing child molesters
    Julie: Thought Commander: Teach JWs to get a life
    Prisca: Regulate policy to keep sanity & Julie in line
    IW: Keep the men in line - burn old literature
    Andi: Motivational Commander/ Happiness is Prime Directive

    These would constitute the 12 Apostles

    SIMON: Head of the Church - Absolute Supreme Commander for Life: As head ... he would replace any Apostle who couldn't handle their job, interview all new replacements, sign all new policy and rules into law. Veto any stupid laws.

  • tyydyy
    tyydyy

    That's an easy question for me...

    Seven006

    Why?

    He has a great knowledge of Ex Jw issues.
    He has the ability to reason with others without getting them pissed off.
    He is old enough to pass for a GB member and he looks like a GB member. (gotta keep him from getting the BIG HEAD)

    What issues first?

    I think there needs to be a regular cartoon strip page in the AWAKE. This would lighten the mood of the JW Rank and file causing many to see through the BullS&&T.

    Then there should be an "accidental" mailing to all congregations similar to a Dear John letter with the voting results of a GB meeting. Carefully executed, of course, so that noone knows who made this "mistake".

    Disfellowshipping should be changed from a congregation decision to a individual decision. That would take all the power out of the hands of the BORG. Leave everything else the way it is so people would want to leave.

    Of course, it would also be really cool to email Dave from time to time to give him the psychological support he would need to counteract the BORG programming.

    TimB

  • sleepy
    sleepy

    I vote YouKnow,
    With him in control even the most braindead witnesses will be off.

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    whoever got in, lets have him:-
    1) replace kingdom songs for hot gospel and heavy metal music
    2) re instate the food and drinks at assemblies
    3) let them have blood , birthdays and Christmas if they want
    4) stop disfelloshiping people
    5) make sure all the teachings are really based on scripture
    6) teach them to use their conscience, not just follow rules
    7) bring back some fun into it , like it used to be

    OK, I pinch myself to stop day dreaming...

  • jst2laws
    jst2laws

    Dont overlook JT. He's smooth in addressing the hot issues. But he has the added advantage of having chummed with the big boys.

    Jst2laws

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