Do men and women leave the Borg for Diff...Reasons

by tyydyy 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Simon
    Simon

    I think the treatment is what starts people leaving and looking at the doctrines and the evidence/logic then helps to confirm that they are doing the right thing. In some cases people pick up on things not making sense and then when they question things they are treated badly which confirms their suspicions that it's all 'hogwash'.

    While the essays and dissection of doctrine are useful and needed, I think the personal experiences are very powerful (mistreatment / unfairness tends to stir people up a lot).

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    Hi tyydyy

    I think you could be right...there could be a relationship as to why Females vrs Males leave the borg. Our needs are different to a degree...and it depends on which need we felt was being deprived while we were in the borg. It all depends on the statistics I suppose...but for men perhaps it was physical...for women it could have been emotional. For me I felt that I was emotionally deprived...and I know another ex JW female left for the same reason. I never really thought about it before until now. Good thread.

    Beck

  • tyydyy
    tyydyy

    For me, the decision to leave was purely doctrinal. I heard things that I didn't agree with from the platform and then researched the 607 issue. Before I made the decision to leave, I didn't even realize that I was being deprived of my freedoms.

    Xena, on the other hand, wanted our daughter to celebrate birthdays. So she was prepared to leave when I told her about the 607 thing.

    I'm sure that's not always the case.

    TimB

  • Mutz
    Mutz

    I agree with Moman, it was freedom.
    Freedom from having to bolt my food after a hard days works, leap into the shower and get washed shaved and dressed to spend 2 hours listening to some self-righteous little knobber (the congregations latest shining star in the troof 5 minutes etc) tell me what I should do, how I should act and feel. Freedom from being told I had to sit and sweat like a pig with a jacket on in the middle of summer if I wanted the 'privilege' of reading at the book study. Freedom from a million other petty-minded rules and regulations made up by the 'You shouldn't doooooooo that' Brigade.

  • Scully
    Scully

    Whether we have emotional or logical issues with the WTS that ends up making us leave, either case can cause what psychologists refer to as "cognitive dissonance". Here's the definition of that term from my medical dictionary:

    a state of tension resulting from a discrepancy in a person's emotional

    and intellectual frame of reference for interpreting and coping with his or her environment. It usually occurs when new information contradicts existing assumptions or knowledge. - Mosby's Medical, Nursing & Allied Health Dictionary, 4th Ed, 1994.For both my husband and myself, it was an issue of how people were being treated, so the cognitive dissonance had an emotional trigger in our case. When we tried to resolve that by stepping up the intellectual process and researching what our gut was telling us, we discovered the intellectual dishonesty of the GB (with the inappropriate translation in the NWT, misquotes in the Creation book, for example), the false prophecies as a matter of habit rather than mere human error, and the use of disfellowshipping and shunning to silence dissent. It didn't take much research once I was in nursing school to realize the information that JWs had on blood transfusions was horribly slanted and biased in favour of WT doctrine.

    Either way, for men and women, if the triggering event is emotional, then the person uses an intellectual approach to try to stabilize the 'attack' to the emotional aspect, and vice versa. When the attempt to reconcile the triggering event fails, the person realizes the need to modify their behaviour, and change has to take place in order to resolve the dissonance.

    Love, Scully


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