LHS123...FREEDOM IS GOOD!!!! We're all here for you!
Seeking support during confusing and stressful 'cognitive dissonance'
by LHS123 32 Replies latest jw friends
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done4good
A break is a good initial step in one's overall exit strategy. It will help "normalize" you, and provide you with some point of reference outside of the organization, providing concrete evidence that "the big bad world" is not the place the WT says it is. I did not do any research on the organization until I took such a "break", (3 months).
It was realizing that I was happy for the first time in my life after this break, that opened my eyes to many things. This allowed me to do research without fear or guilt. The rest is history.
d4g
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StephaneLaliberte
LHS123.... the situation you have at this moment is far from being easy. There are the obvious difficulties, that is, your baptized daughter and your husband.
Concerning your baptized daughter, I would advise telling her that if she ever was disfellowshipped, you would never ignore her. You could be surprised and perhaps she will leave the truth all by herself in the coming years. In the case of sisters, it often comes down to who she will be dating and marrying.
As for your husband, you reported abuse. Let him know in very clear words that you do not believe in the JW anymore and if he continues his action, you will leave him. Despite all the advises distributed through their talks and literature, many JW brothers rely on the idea that their wives are stuck and become abusive. Thus, perhaps your open willingness to let him will cause drastic changes in his behavior.
Other issues will be every JW you know who will stop being friends... well, join other clubs in activities you like... you will make other friends soon enough. Family and the very close friends you count on your hand: these are the ones that will hurt. Still, you need to confront them. I mean these ones, be in their face and let them know loud and clear that it is them who are ending the relationship: not you. You need to be affirmative, not aggressive. Remind them that the only disfellowshiping reported in the bible was a couple of months and not everyone followed that order given by Paul in one of his letters. You may also tell them that for the great majority of their existence, JW have been strongly opposed to disfellowshiping denouncing the catholic for this.
And in the end, I assure you, the truth will set you free. You will have a different outlook on life as a whole. You will see and understand differently. You will understand that there is plenty of good people doing good things and that in the end, the fruit of the spirit is not measured by meeting attendance and preaching hours, but how you live your everyday life and preaching by your actions, not solely by your words.