This will be my last “new” thread for a while. I am “not” leaving, but plan to confine my comments to the threads started by others. I will finish my JFR-Trial series elsewhere, and maybe at some time in the future I will post the balance here.
A Plan: Over the weekend, I watched the threads bouncing up and down on the ‘Active” screen, and saw some very good ideas. Several caused me to take stock of myself, and all of us as a collective body, and this is what I got from it: 1. Don’t comment to any negative, inflammatory threads, and let them die of their own weight. (I forget who suggested this, but they deserve credit.) I can add that any who do comment, we can see who it is that keep the flame threads alive, and make our own judgments. It is my intention forevermore to never respond to threads or individuals who make inflammatory comments, no matter how false, hurtful, mean and negative these are ... whether I or my friends or others are the object of such inflammatory remarks. 2. To, in effect, ‘love bomb’ the board by keeping the positive and useful discussions and topics brought back to the top. (I think that was Ven who suggested this ... and I saw it working by late Sunday. Good job). 3. To openly apologize and make amends for healing. (Flowers deserves the credit for this.) We may add to this accepting apologies and showing forgiveness to those who make apologies.
Offer to Reconcile: I know that some strongly dislike me, whether that dislike is based in fact or in their own perceptions and speculations. E-Man recently helped me not only rediscover accepting people as they are, warts and all, but also it is okay to be disliked for who we are ... that we don’t have to please everyone. Therefore, to all of you who feel offended at me, and I mean anyone, whoever that may be, I make the following offer:
I want to reconcile with you. We have likely had good times in the past, respected one another, and even posted as a team at times. I make my general apology to you for hurting you in any way ... whether I was in the right or not ... I apologize unconditionally; but also in the hopes you will accept, and resolve matters with me. If you have additional specific issues, and bring forth the clear evidence of where I have wronged you, I will honor that, and work matters out, including providing explanations to clarify matters, or where necessary, take full responsibility and make an outright admission and apology for that issue ... publicly.
If you do not want any reconciliation: I respect and honor that. To show good faith, I will never comment on threads you start, or comment in any way to your posts on other threads. If we show up on the same thread it will only be due to the fact that I am responding to someone who I am on good terms with, and their thread is not inflammatory or negative. This is unilateral ... I do not ask anything back from you on this ... no matter what you say to me or about me, it will simply go ignored. It will be up to others to judge. Only if asked by others, will I simply comment that certain statements are either true or false.
Legalities: If by chance you ever happen receive an email threatening to sue you, alleging that you have done certain things, it seems that you are not obligated to honor the demands of that email, if it was sent unsolicited, and the email did not offer a single shred of evidence that you did any of the things alleged. It may also be wise to choose “not” reveal anything about such threatening email. If you ever receive such an email, maybe it would wise to never make contact back or comment about the person in any way ever again. Perhaps it is wise and kind to only seek the best for that person, and if by having nothing to do with that person ever again means the individual will feel happier, then so be it. If the person at some time chooses to reconcile, then be ready to do that, and hold no grudges or ill feelings.
I think some posters do need to be aware that if you malign a person with false allegations, you may be subject to such threats from those offended. I will leave it to you do contact an attorney in your jurisdiction to determine if your posted words constitute a chargeable offense. The days of 100% freedom to be the equivalent of an old western “verbal-gun-slinger” are over. The time to be considerate, thoughtful, and careful with our words are now here, lest one risks a lawsuit, loss of friends, and loss of respect. While I will never again respond to negative inflammatory threads that speak ill of me, my friends or others, I will save copies for the record – just in case. In the end, whether we are right or wrong, all this energy spent on grief, attack, counter-attack, bickering, insults, and even potential lawsuits, justified or not, ... is simply NOT worth it ... it will not even buy us a cup of coffee at the diner.
Please do not construe the above as a subtle threat from me: I am only speaking in general terms, and intend nothing negative nor any actions ... nor have I ever made such threats to anyone. Perhaps, when we are spoken of with false allegations, or mean-spirited comments, leave it to Simon to take whatever action(s) are at his discretion, whether locking threads, deleting threads, etc. Avoid commenting about his actions.
Enough said: The vast majority here get along well, and I care for and respect you all, especially many who have a good track record of positive contributions. So, you will see me on your threads most often, sharing and contributing what I can – avoiding flame comments like the plague. Thanks again to Ven, Flowers, and other for setting a new tone and style to help defeat negativism and promote a positive environment.