ICSA Conference Listening to the Still Small Voice

by Lady Lee 16 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Lady Lee

  Heaven

  I am hearing that "do-nothing" comment about JWs more and more often. Theirs is a life not lived for today but rather for a future that might come. . . soon.

  It was something I struggled with and used a wide variety of excuses to explain the reasons I had for learning things. Everything had to have a reason for it. Then it was to have skills to use after Armageddon. After all, someone had to know how to can food and make clothing. Most people haven't got a clue how to do those things. So I learned basic survival skills.

  Now I can do things just because I want to learn something new. There doesn't have to be a reason for the "Why do you want to do that?" question. Maybe I will realize I don't like it but at least I tried.

  I think I saw somewhere that someone had calculated that it takes 11 years of preachign to make 1 new JW. What a tremendous waste of time and energy.
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  Heaven

  I am hearing that "do-nothing" comment about JWs more and more often. Theirs is a life not lived for today but rather for a future that might come. . . soon.

  Lady Lee, this is so true. Many are waiting for Jehovah's Paradise Earth when everything will be magically transformed into the way they want it.

  There is also the JW mantra "Wait on Jehovah" which really means wait for God to fix everything... but he never does and then nothing gets done. I think this is why I resonated so deeply with Stephen Covey's "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". His first and foundational principle of "Be Proactive" is directly opposite to the JW principle "Wait on Jehovah".

  From Stephen's blog (http://www.stephencovey.com/blog/?tag=be-proactive):

  Most Important Habit?

  Friday, December 5th, 2008

  I am often asked if there is one habit out of the 7 Habits that is more important than the others. Of course, all the habits are important and they form an inter-connected whole or a continuum. For maximum effectiveness, you have to build from one to the other and apply them consistently. From that perspective, Habit 1: Be Proactive provides the foundation for all the other habits. Habit 1 is, undoubtedly, the foundation for leadership at home or at work because it begins with the mindset “I am responsible for me, and I can choose.” All the other habits are dependent upon being proactive and choosing to master and practicing principle-centered living.

  The key to being proactive is remembering that between stimulus and response there is a space. That space represents our choice— how we will choose to respond to any given situation, person, thought or event. Imagine a pause button between stimulus and response—a button you can engage to pause and think about what is the principle-based response to your given situation. Listen to what your conscience tells you. Listen for what is wise and the principle-based thing to do, and then act.

  Being proactive (Habit 1) becomes much more powerful when connected and related to the other habits. The key to the habits is the power of their combined synergy and meaningful purpose. Leaving one habit out is like having a four-legged chair—when you remove one leg the chair is out of balance.

  So from what Covey says here, JWs are fundamentally destroying the very foundation for action, responsibility, accountability, ownership, and creation in their lives. They have been conditioned to stop their natural response to stimulus. They hit the pause button and do not hit resume. No wonder many of them are ill.
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  cog_survivor

  Boy, some of the comments on this thread were very thought provoking for me.

  The "do nothing" wait on God was a huge thing with my mother. We kids ended up feeling so powerless.

  The guilt about doing something just for the pleasure is something that still bugs me today. Everything should have a purpose and the best purpose is to glorify God. Sigh.
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  ziddina

  Marking...

  Thanks for posting this, Lady Lee!!

  
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  rip van winkle

  Lady Lee!!! the question "Who Am I?" speaks to me. It was only a few short months ago that I recognized I have been in a cult all these years, but it was years that I knew something was really wrong.

  "Cults are different. They do demand that you give up your personal identity. Other interests are forbidden."

  The things that I enjoyed preJW ( art, music, reading) I completely disengaged from these as my studying was progressing. Totally eliminated.

  "Disengagement from a cult however is different. The person may not know what they like, what their interests or even what talents or skills they have. They haven’t had social interactions with enough interests or activities to know what they want, what their interests are, their talents. They have to start exploring these things at the same time that they are dealing with leaving the group, all their friends,"

  So, true. I am lucky that I wasn't raised as a JW in that I had the time to learn and explore and get some sense of self.

  But ultimately you still have to wade through all of it and decide what is right for you. And that is where the “still small voice” comes in. We need to sit quietly and sort through it all, the good, the bad, and what falls in between to find that voice inside that says: “This is who I am.” And then you find the courage to stand by your beliefs simply because they are your beliefs and say something about who you are as an individual apart from any group.

  This has been the hard part-listening to the "still small voice"- that's the voice I've missed paying attention to!!!!! And then finding my way in the world.

  Now I can do things just because I want to learn something new. There doesn't have to be a reason for the "Why do you want to do that?" question. Maybe I will realize I don't like it but at least I tried.

  Lady Lee- you were smart enough to continue to do things even though you said you had to make sure there was a reason behind it. I was one of those waiting, waiting, waiting for "the new system" and "the real life" to accomplish things. So, I just completely stopped living. It's absolutely insane!!!

  Heaven- So from what Covey says here, JWs are fundamentally destroying the very foundation for action, responsibility, accountability, ownership, and creation in their lives. They have been conditioned to stop their natural response to stimulus. They hit the pause button and do not hit resume. No wonder many of them are ill. That's my story-right there!!!

  I've really enjoyed all the info that you've shared from the 2012 ICSA conference. I started to write bits and pieces of my own story as a way to understand how and why I fell victim to a cult. I have used the method of writing from your 1st 2012 ICSA post. It has been an invaluable process of finding ME again. Thanks Lee!!!
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  PaintedToeNail

  Lady Lee-Thanks for this great topic. I am still trying to find out who I am, and what to do with my life. No matter how it is looked at, the answer is elusive, which is depressing. My parents are smack in the middle of do nothing. They have no interests, the same old, secular magazines are in the magazine holders, from 5-10 years earlier. There are no new books on the shelves, only the same old bound volumes. No paints, no music, no laughter. I don't want to end up like that.
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  Lady Lee

  Painted

  Don't get discouraged. It is never too late to find out who you are, what kind of a person you are -- or want to be.

  Learn for the pure pleasure of learning. Most people recently out of the JWs (or any repressive group) discover they have an insatiable desire to learn. They read incessantly. They watch documentaries for the sake of learning new things about the world around them - other than the sound bites the Awake! provided. They try new things. They get involved with sports (often through their kids). They begin to go to museums or plays. They get involved in community events. The opportunities are out there for just about everything. I recently joined a Meetup group for cultural events in my community. I cannot believe the wide range of things they list for people to attend. Most are free but some you have to pay or donate something to, even food for the local food banks. Get a dog if you like them. Great way to meet new people it seems.

  It is ok to try something and then say "That's not for me." But in the process you will have learned something new about yourself.

  Our limitations, while not endless, are only as big as we make them. At 40 yrs old I took up cycling. I got to the point where I was riding 100 km 2-3 times a week. I loved it and want to get back into it. Health has kept me away for a few years but at 60 I want to start cycling again. When I moved to where I am now we had a fellow in his 90s out cycling every day. It is never too late unless you keep putting it off.

  Heaven was right about. Become proactive in your life. You will feel better, emotionally and physically.

  I set myself a goal of learning one new thing a year. One big project. This year is to get cycling again. Last year it was jewelry making. I have no idea what it will be next year but I know I will learn more about who I am, my likes and dislikes, my talents (or lack of) for certain things. One year was furniture refinishing, then upholstery. I built a desk and a bookshelf. I learned to build my own computer. The list is varied and interesting to me.

  All thse thiungs you put off - pick one and do it now. Be reasonable within your limits. Don't try to run a marathon if you have trouble running around the block. But you can build yourself up to it.

  I can't think of anything worse than growing up to be like my mother who has spent the last 50 years waiting and waiting and waiting.