Advice please...teenager stuff

Aussie Oz

Bloody IE9!

ok, as many know i have a daughter (15) lives with mother and step father (arsehole)

she was told "remove your ear stretchers by thursday or be kicked out". She has refused to remove said ear decoration. Should she regard herself as kicked out and come live with me? Has her step tool made the dicision for her by this ultimation? Can I consider her kicked out and just tell her that has happened and take the load off her?

she does want to move here but is just so torn by it all.

Oz

mrsjones5

If she's still there it sounds like she called his bluff. But maybe it's time for a change. If she moves in with you do you think her mother will be upset about it?

baltar447

You know, I'm all for personal freedoms, and I don't have a problem with most piercings, because they don't need be permanent. But I've gotta side with them on this one (not the kicking out part). I think ear stretchers are completely stupid and it's one of those things like a tattoo on the face(permanemnt bad decision) that will leave you with streatched out ear lobes for the rest of your life or at least until you can afford plastic surgery to fix it. Not in my roof lol. I'd let my kids get a piercing or two, depending on what it is, but absolutely no stretching of any kind.

baltar447

And for my kids 15 is too young for any type of body modifications. Earrings I consider an exception to that.

Sorry, I think this is a hot button with me, I positively hate that kind of body mod, so I am completely biased.

baltar447

IF they kick her out that's pretty shitty of them for sure. But I can sympathize with the "kick-out" reaction, because I just told my wife that I'd make my kids live in a tent in the back yard until said ear gages were removed.

Aussie Oz

yes it is tme for a change. The house has become toxic to tenn trying to be accepted. Last year she was in a real dark place thanks to the JW rules and frankly i have had enough of seeing what i amount to abuse.

I understand Baltar, But it is a whole lot more than the ears really, they are just the fuse.

The ears and other things have been playing out in a JW household, not on my watch. Personally, i believe there a are lot more important things to teach teenagers than the way they choose to look. Perhaps post JW i am a lot more liberal, i am not in the conservative basket myself being tattooed and being rockabilly, so they are not an issue for me, tatts yes, ears no.

BUT, getting back to the question: Should she regard herself as kicked out and come live with me? Has her step tool made the dicision for her by this ultimation? Can I consider her kicked out and just tell her that has happened and take the load off her?

Oz

baltar447

I'd say if you get the phone call, "Dad can you pick me up?" then yes.

It may have just been a idle threat though.

baltar447

For her I'm sure the ear thing represents her desire to break out of the restrictive cult household. I apologize if I was taken the wrong way I'm not against tattoos and piercings, my wife has tats and has had piercings before, it can be hot lol. I just really hate gages

jamiebowers

It would probably be much easier on you and your daughter if her mother and stepfather kick her out. Your daughter refusing to remove the gauges is an indication that she wants to leave. So, if it happens, go pick her up and move her in with you. But be forewarned; pick your battles with teenagers. Having helped to raise two of them, (a girl and a boy), gauges, going Goth, piercings, and tattoos are trivial. Save your fight for alcohol abuse, birth control, drug abuse, and eating disorders.

My stepson wore HUGE gauges in his ears. It looked like shit, and I worried about infection. But he removed them when he got tired of them, and seven years later, his earlobes are fine.

Advice please...teenager stuff

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