Take for example my sickly kitty, Minx, who I loved deeply. I gave her the best medical care that I could afford, fed her the best food - human baby food in addition to the highest quality cat food, pampered and cared for her in every way possible, to keep her alive as long as possible.
Ultimately my love for her HAD to change, when the REALITY of the CONDITION of her body intervened - and it finally began to fail. She had to be put to sleep.
My love for her, though absolute, HAD TO BE CONDITIONAL - as in, based upon the ever-changing conditions of life itself....Zid
Your love didn't change, you loved her unconditionally....and because you loved her unconditionally you did what was best for her. You wanted her to live...she needed to let go. You made the difficult decision, based on her needs ahead of your own to ease her pain and suffering because you loved her. The only thing you may have benefitted from that, was knowing you did the right thing, and that she no longer suffered, but that is little consolation. The real benefit was for her, you would feel the loss and would have to let go...there was no reward for you, no need being fullfilled. Just pure love for Minx...she was a lucky cat.
Unconditional Love-How would you describe it?
by rip van winkle 239 Replies latest members private
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still thinking
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rip van winkle
Snoozy-is that your definition or are you just playing with Rip?
Like loving a psycho..murderer..rapist..molestor..no matter what they did..You just love lthem to pieces..
RVW wrote:I have also heard it said that in someones death the mourning you do is for your own loss....the loss of them in yourlife
Snoozy, the above quote that you attributed to me was actually from Caliber. I did respond that it was true. I should have said partially, but not in it's entirety. Here is how I responded "Caliber-I delayed my mourning. The emotions are hard to describe. Yes, I think it is true. You grieve for their absence from your life. You grieve also for what they suffered in their life and what you suffered with them. You grieve for the loss of shared experiences. And for the person who knew the imperfect, true person you are inside, and loved you anyway. You miss them more than you could possibly imagine. I have had the loss of friends and acquaintances when I was young, and other relatives whom I loved and cherished during my life. This loss was a whole other dimension that words cannot express "
Snoozy, I am very sorry for your loss and for your heartbreak. Rip
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rip van winkle
Retrovirus- All opinions and thoughts about what you think is the description is subjective. When I asked it- the question was coming from a personal perspective, without consciously having the WTS in mind. Thank you for your input on the subject!!!!
For Ziddina: Talesin, Still Talking and I have all separately concluded that your love for Minx WAS unconditional!!!! I await your response, Z.
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ziddina
"So, putting her down was not the loving thing to do? Ending her suffering?..." Talesin, page 4
Sheesh...
Did you people not read my posts???
I am referring to the shifting and changing conditions of life itself. In my opinion, the fact that those conditions affect our very lives, precludes the possibility of some 'eternally-enduring' form of "unconditional" love.
And most peoples' comments about "unconditional" love indicate that they are coming from a Jehovah's Witness/Christian - now, you DID notice that second term there, right??? I included it in at least ONE of my other posts on the subject. Maybe I should say, "Jehovah's Witness/Christian/religious" mentality...
At any rate, when one moves away from the nebulous concepts of religion, including "unconditional" love [in the sense of NOT being affected by the inevitable changing conditions of LIFE ITSELF], one sees that love is indeed "conditional" - in the sense that love morphs, evolves and changes as does life itself.
NOW do you guys understand what I'm saying?????
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rip van winkle
Z, I've read everything you wrote on this post. Yes, life changes and ultimately people have to adjust to various changes all the time. Some people are able to see changes as a positive and some see changes as a negative. The ideal of Unconditional love is that it meets the challenge of change, but the one making the choice to have Unconditional love doesn't necessarily meet all the aspects at once. It is a choice. It still applies (at least how I look at it) to whatever change comes. Again. Z. it's an ideal that can and does work, even in an imperfect world full of imperfect people.
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ziddina
Hokay, let's try it this way....
"unconditional love" in the way referred to by most posters on this thread, appears to be defined as "Love without conditions imposed upon it". Under any circumstances.
I'm talking about PHYSICAL conditions - i.e. the person's behavior takes a drastic change for the worse or is revealed as having been drastically bad all along [murder, embezzlement, drunk driving that kills someone, etc], or physical conditions like illness, natural disaster, war, etc, that change the situation irreversibly.
If your child killed someone - or many people - let's say little girls - you wouldn't move next to a girls' school. If your child ran over someone while drunk, you wouldn't hand them the keys to your car the minute they got out on bail - IF they got out on bail.
In other words, the CONDITIONS of your love MUST CHANGE, to change the course of your child's behavior.
I suspect we're talking apples to oranges, here...
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rip van winkle
Z- I need to catch some Z'zzzzzzzzzz, so I'll be brief. But I will tell you I was thinking about you all day, Now when I go to sleep I do not want any wing ed creature to disturb my sleep-ok
I thank you for trying to explain to me your viewpoint of what is Unconditional Love. It is yours to believe in or not to believe in. I appreciate your expressions on the subject. All opinions matter on this topic.
Z- we can agree to respectfully disagree. Btw, I have been to the Dark Side ,too. 20 years the WTS- that to me is the dark, Ziddina!
In fact I think I'm in the Light now!!!!!!!!!!,
And i think it's true Z that you and I are talking apples to oranges or vice-versa, But that's OK. Although they have different taste, color, skin and texture, they share some similarities and they are just FRUIT!!!!
Peace Ziddina
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00DAD
Ziddy, yes I read your posts, most of them at least!
Conditions of life change, this is true, but that is not the context of what most people mean by the expression "unconditional love." There is nothing implicit in the term which means that love is:
- Eternal or everlasting
- Given out indiscriminately
- Applies to all relationships
- Applies to all emotions labelled "love" or related
But in the moment in which I have this kind of love for someone, my love for them is not dependent on them meeting some set of conditions which I set:
I will love you, but only as long as you:
- Don't grow your hair long
- Don't cut it short
- Don't disagree with me
- Don't read books I disapprove
- Listen to music I forbid
- Go to college
- Etc ...
In reference to my last point, Applies to all emotions labelled "love" or related" consider this example:
I love ice cream, but my love for it is very conditional. I only love it when it's cold. If it gets too melted, it's over between us!
Of course this just points out that in English we commonly use the word "love" loosely, which contributes to the confusion.
Something to think about.
00DAD
BTW, when I googled fluffy-bunny-rainbow-unicorns THIS thread was the second thing that came up!
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caliber
In my opinion, the fact that those conditions affect our very lives, precludes the possibility of some 'eternally-enduring' form of "unconditional" love.
"unconditional love" in the way referred to by most posters on this thread, appears to be defined as "Love without conditions imposed upon it". Under any circumstances.
But in the moment in which I have this kind of love for someone, my love for them is not dependent on them meeting some set of conditions
Yes a reasonable breaking point for conditional love for sure is required otherwise there is what Lady Lee calls "toxic love "
This why one cannot maintain "absolute unconditional love". ..a reasonable balance must follow , where one is not being totally used and abused
And sure there are many levels of love and kinds of love as some have mentioned.
Romans 12:18 brings out a similar principle with regard to peace..
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone
There has to be reasonable limits but the closer the type of love involved ... say parent - child or husband - wife the greater the required effort
in my opinion
Like my dear departed father always told us kids about working for others ... "Work hard and co-operate as much as you can but never become a sucker to be used "
I think most of us can comprehend when reasonableness turns into stupidity with total lack of appreciation (love) by the other party
Going the extra mile need not mean to follow the other party into eternity to finally only then win their approval or change of attitude
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talesin
Zid
I see you have an extremely jaded and dim view of love. That's fine.
Just don't ASS-U-ME that others who are less jaded, are coming from a religious stance.
SHEESH!
