Golden Rule: Pure Garbage? (page 4)

sparrowdown

My favourite saying is "He who smelt it dealt it" - so wise, so true.

Viviane

Confused? Complaint? You asked a question with respect to your opinion, I responded. If you can't handle answers you don't like, perhaps you shouldn't ask people questions.

I referred your original whine regarding me, the one where you didn't have the uh, fortitude, shall we say, to call me by name. So yes, you absolutely are confused.

Anyway, as I suggested, rather than continue to derail a thread because you've got some kind of hate boner for me, feel free to read my suggestion to Eden. I'll get you two a room and you can give each other sexy massages telling each other over and over what a terrible person I am.

I am done engaging with both of you.

Viviane

C'mon, the golden rule is a general rule to improve the relationships between humans and it works great, a lot better than anything that I know. If you nit-pick anything you are going to end up in complete nihilism. The golden rule is my moral compass and works quite well. I just don't waste my time thinking of off-the-wall and hypothetical scenarios to invalidate it. The rule is simple, keep it simple.

So then it's a good thing that you just happen to have run into people who want to be treated exactly the way you want to be treated or people that don't bother telling you they would like to be treated differently.

It's a presumptive rule. It's quite telling that the golden rule needs a rule to work.

willmarite

Thanks everyone for the constructive input. I would have to say while I certainly understand the superiority of the diamond rule in very few cases would it be better than the golden rule.

In most cases I deal with other people I have no idea that they would like to be treated differently from myself so the golden rule would be a good rule of thumb in treating people I just met, deal with infrequently, or other acquaintances that I don't know real well.

The people that I know real well are only a few and 99% of the time they want to be treated the way I want to be treated so again the Golden Rule would be valid in 99% of the cases when I deal with people I know well. Also in a couple cases as Eden mentions people I know well would want to be treated in a way that isn't healthy for them so the diamond rule would probably not be the best.

Taken together I personally feel in my own life the Golden Rule is applicable 99.9% of the time.

Viviane

The reason it works is not because of the golden rule itself being good, it's because we are acting in ways that that are generally acceptable in society and are societal norms. When different cultures meet, it often ends in misunderstanding, sometimes hilarious, sometimes deadly, when the golden rule is applied.

millie210

willmarite
Thanks everyone for the constructive input

I usually stay away from threads like this because they invariably become platforms for verbal mish mash but for the most part people here tried to answer you with realness, so it has been interesting to hear their thoughts.

Its nice to meet you willmarite.

Twitch

I referred your original whine regarding me, the one where you didn't have the uh, fortitude, shall we say, to call me by name. So yes, you absolutely are confused.

What I didn't mention earlier and what is plainly obvious is that you weren't the only one who critical of the topic. I didn't mention any names and didn't think I had to, but the point was made yet you're the only one taking offense. As I mentioned, my post was drafted so as not to be overtly aggressive or insulting on a point of disagreement. I think most people would/could see that as a modicum of respect in a conversation.

Also, I based some of my initial post on previous experience with other people besides you and how they treat others. You seem to take my initial post to mean it was all about you. Which it wasn't entirely but it's not surprising that you once again, make it all about you.

Oh, and it's rather telling of you to try and hit below the belt as a last resort. Very telling.

Anyway, as I suggested, rather than continue to derail a thread because you've got some kind of hate boner for me, feel free to read my suggestion to Eden. I'll get you two a room and you can give each other sexy massages telling each other over and over what a terrible person I am.

Who said you were a terrible person? I didn't and don't think so. I don't care for your posting style but that doesn't make you a bad person. All I did was disagree with you, initially.

It seems here and in general you can't handle disagreement and resort to below the belt innuendo and insults as some sort of defense. Again, very telling.

I am done engaging with both of you.

Glad to hear it

PS. sorry to the OP re my engagement here and my part in derailing the thread.

cappytan

The reason it works is not because of the golden rule itself being good, it's because we are acting in ways that that are generally acceptable in society and are societal norms. When different cultures meet, it often ends in misunderstanding, sometimes hilarious, sometimes deadly, when the golden rule is applied.

This is actually an excellent point.

steve2

Squabbling aside, the so-called rule can be helpful - but it is not the be-all-and-end-all. At some stage in our realtionships with people it would be helpful to ascertain whether that works for them. For example, some people - me included - blossom when they are praised; others don't; they become suspicious because in their learning history, people who praise them are after something and in some contexts may have used praise to achieve exploitable ends. Also, in some family cultures, positive reinforcement is alien and considered in a bad light.

My mistake would be to assume that, because I float on air for hours after being praised , other people in my circle of acquaintances also respond when so praised

So, I agree with aspects of both sides: The Golden Rule is a good place to start - but it has its limitations: At best it is a safe way to proceed, at worst, it is perceived to be patronizing and manipulative.

Viviane

Oh, and it's rather telling of you to try and hit below the belt as a last resort. Very telling.
PS. sorry to the OP re my engagement here and my part in derailing the thread.

You should be sorry.

Golden Rule: Pure Garbage?

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