Any born-ins have this attitude about converts?

by Nambo 43 Replies latest jw experiences

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  SophieG

  I was a born in and left in my teens, returned in my 20’s and I can tell you for a fact, as much as I wanted a spiritual man (reacher-outer/MS) I was certainly considered not good enough by such because I had been “out there”. Now bear in mind I WAS NOT A HO while I was out, but the mere fact I was out at some point I had marks against me. I could have pioneered to kingdom come, I guarantee they would not touch me!

  Immature "born-ins' tend to be elistist I think..

  Year later in retrospect, thank goodness I got “passed over”. I would have not done very well as an elder’s wife…I am too uncontrollable. HA!
• 

  NomadSoul

  I'm sure hotness surpassed any social estigma.
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  Diest

  Personally I disliked converts. They loved to tell us born-ins about how much fun they had in the world doing drugs or what not. Of course the followed it up with how sick and disgusting the world is.

  Most converts I met had a lot of attitude/superiorty about how far they changed. They dont get the daily grind of being a witness kid. No flag, friends, or birthday parties for us.
• 

  rebel8

  During the initial Aids panic of the 80s, I remember a question added to the Baptism questions for converts regarding "STD" testing.

  m mm...what now!! Does anyone have a copy of this?!!!!
• 

  sd-7

  Well, I'm sure I probably thought converts might have had a bit of a 'worldly streak' to them, except those who really took to it and became zealots, but when I looked at my own thinking, I realized, hey, I had plenty of worldly thoughts myself... As long as they weren't like a vicious criminal in their past life and still tempted by it or something, they were fine by me. If they were, I might have been a little scared until I got to know them better, but otherwise, no big deal.

  As for the sex issue, I think a sister with a bit of 'worldly' in her probably gave me the notion that she'd be pretty exciting in the marriage bed. Which it turns out, she was. So there'd be a certain allure there, a curiosity that probably wouldn't be the same for a born-in sister. I would think it's perfectly reasonable for both parties, as a gesture of common sense and good faith, to get tested for HIV and STDs, whether they're born-in or not. I would consider that a gesture of trust and openness if this is going to be a committed, monogamous relationship. Something to get out of the way so there's no surprises in that regard. After all, born-in doesn't always equal virgin, right? And even if it did, no harm in getting a test when you already know the results, so why be bothered by it, yes?

  Anyway, that's my take on it.

  --sd-7
• 

  sd-7

  Does anyone have a copy of this?!!!!

  I remember this quite clearly--this sort of issue is still in the baptism questions today, there's even a rule written there saying that a person with a 'communicable disease' shouldn't be seen embracing or kissing people in the congregation, as it would not be 'loving'. I assume that covers STDs as well, though it'd have to be a pretty intense embrace, I suppose...I can get kissing, like if it was communicable via the lips, but embracing? A bit much. Maybe someone else will post a quote on it before I can get my book and locate it...

  --sd-7
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  I am so glad to be 21 years away from that place.
• 

  3rdgen

  I agree that "hotness" trumps any stigma of being either too inexperienced or visa versa. Pretty people have no trouble getting the opposite sex to date them.

  As far as attitude goes I've noticed that assh***s are assh***s . Zeal is zeal. I know of zealous converts who looked down on the born ins as if they were Esau (sp?) not appriciating our spiritual gifts. But they were zealous "worldly people too. Workaholics and worse .OTOH, people who were laid back before converting tend to be laid back afterward. Its a personality thing apart from the cult.
• 

  Nambo

  Now another difficulty I had as a convert, but that was due to my own attitude, well, once a blunt Northern Sister said to me, "you've got no personality".

  And to a certain extent, in certain situations, she was right.

  See, in the world, especially the mans world of mechanics and military, male bonding in the form of crude behaviour and banter, play aggression and pretend bravado, shapes ones character and behaviour.

  Then of course when you come in the "truth", suddenly you have to put on the "new personality", everything about you is wrong, all the other JWs in ones own eyes seem to be angelic perfect, they dont even masturbate!, hell, in the Navy it was etiquette to have a pile of dirty books to entertain guests with, thing is, what is this new personality?

  Basically, you leave behind your worldly self and try to pretend your a Jehovahs Witness without actually knowing what to do, especially in a social setting, and even more so where Sisters are concerned, you do feel unclean, maybe thats one of the reasons us converts, especially when new, may seem a bit too zealous, thing is, its the only way we are shown how to behave as a dubb.

  Its like you have moved to a foriegn country where you are afraid to let your hair down for fear of breaking some unknown custom or tabboo.
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  I agree that "hotness" trumps any stigma of being either too inexperienced or visa versa. Pretty people have no trouble getting the opposite sex to date them.

  This may be true outside the org, but inside the org, even beautiful women are passed over if the born or raised ins think the women are "damaged goods." The brothers would make it well known they wanted "tall, big boobed, small waisted, virginal, elders' daughters who were also pioneers." These fellows would turn their noses up at the most gorgeous sisters who had been in the world, divorced or were single mothers.

  We've had threads here about beautiful sisters who married plain or ugly, boring brothers. This is partly why.