I Need Attorney Who Understands JW Mindset in FL (page 2)

NeverKnew

Crimson: PLEASE do not call just any attorney! Look for attorneys who deal with guardianship matters! It's important! This is a different kind of beast. :) The JW piece is almost a moot point.

I will send you a PM.

Cagefighter, your concise summary statement is excellent! I can normally do that very well, but just seem too emotionally affected by all this -- I have not been able to whittke it down so cleanly. Short, sweet and to the point. Thank you!

CrimsonBleu

NeverKnow and Band On The Run, you both sent invaluable info for which I will spend today digesting and researching. Huge Thanks to both of you.

I realze the JW part might not affect too much, to an attorney, but it does affect things just the same. Sisters are very hard on me.

"Hugz" to all who helped!

RubaDub

PLEASE do not call just any attorney! Look for attorneys who deal with guardianship matters! It's important! This is a different kind of beast. :) The JW piece is almost a moot point.

Never Knew is absolutely right.

However, if you have the POA for financial arrangements, what prevents you from just transferring the money to a new bank account which your sister has no access to ?

Also, if she claims the money is "reserved" for final expenses when your mother passes, go to the funeral home and discuss the pre-payment plans (all funeral homes have these plans). Then, request your sister pay the funeral home whatever she has taken out and then you make a lump-sum payment out of the existing funds to satisfy the total amount (plus, it will likely cost less in the end since you have more room to negotiate with the funeral home).

In a nutshell, final expenses (at least 90%) are covered and there is no need for anyone else to be touching the money for future contingencies.

FYI: If she refuses to communicate with you, she will get some "new light" when served papers from an attorney.

Rub a Dub

Cagefighter

Crimsone Blue,

You might not need an attorney, but if you do remember you are hiring someone to work for YOU! I have seen so many people yield to attorney's interest of lack there of. I deal with attorneys and angry people in my line of work during legal disputes. They call me and say "Let me speak to your attorney". I tell them, "Mam/sir, I don't work for attorneys. I hire attorneys".

I think you need to do a little more research if you have not already.

The biggest question is not why but HOW is your sister accessing the funds? Is she on one of your Mom's accounts, or is she using some other means?

If she is on of your Mom's accounts, I would first contact the bank with your POA and try to get that changed. If that does not work then you need legal advice to get a hearing so a judge can be convinced that it is not in your mother's interest your sister to have continued access.

If she is using an illegal method, i.e. she is drafting checks, know's your mother's debit card #, etc... Then all you need to do is report it as a crime to the police. If your mother refuses to press charges let the police know you have a POA.

Another big question? Do you have a limited POA or do you have full guardianship? If you really feel your sister is taking advantage of her, you probably need full guardianship. It won't be up to your mother whether to press charges or who to put on her accounts anymore. POA's can be very limited, for example: My best friend has POA if I am unable to make a medical decision so my parent's don't fly up here and pull the "no blood" crap. However my best friend would not have access or any authority in my finances or anything else. It is simply restricted to making medical decisions if I am unable to do so. POA's can be very specific, some people have them if they are out of the country so their roommate can pay a phone bill. You need to find out what you have.

jgnat

The advice given so far is excellent; I barely need to add to it. I echo the sentiment that the JW issue is not so important here. This is because the law is entirely on your mother's side. Represent her interests, and you will be fine.

I'll tell a true story to illustrate. I have a friend who immigrated from Africa. Hers was a forced marriage to a man from a brutal tribe. Her husband put a curse on her and their children and said if she ever dared leave him, he would track her down and kill her children then her. She had the courage to leave. She was terrified, of course, because from her culture, this was no idle threat. Then she had to get through the divorce proceedings. I was worried, because our courts had no experience with this sort of mortal threat, and most custody cases would include some sort of visitation by the father.

We prayed. It all worked out.

The court-appointed lawyer for the father was a woman. (The dweeb couldn't hold down a job)

The court-appointed lawyer for my friend was a woman.

The court-appointed workers and assessors were all women.

The judge was a woman.

This man hates women, and refused to show any respect.

He blew off all the court-arranged phone visits with his children.

No visitation from dad.

NeverKnew

You are very welcome. :)

If Florida operates similarly to my state, the Courts will take over the monitoring of your mother's accounts through the reports provided by the one who is listed as the "Guardian of the Estate" or "Conservator." It appears that you have served unofficially as the "Guardian of her Person." These terms are best described at a senior care site I found (http://www.parentgiving.com/elder-care/guardianship-versus-conservatorship-what-is-the-difference/ ). Your POA is nothing compared to the title of "Guardian of an Estate." Depending on her cognitive state, you may be asking for both.

Cagefigher is right in that in dealing with the Courts and the attorneys you want to be brief but direct. Here's your line... ready?

To the Courts (in person where they can hand you paperwork that may lead to less legal fees):

"My mother has been living with me for X years. I have two sisters who have taken control of her finances but somehow, my mom and I see very little of this money. I have concerns about where much of this money has gone, but, most importantly, to care for her properly, I believe I need to see about becoming the Guardian of her Estate. How do I go about doing this? What paperwork do I need to file? Can I get the paperwork here at the Courts?"

That's it. Shut up... listen and learn. Your goal is to understand the process.

What's the most valuable education? I checked and it appears that proceedings in Florida are open to the public. Call and explain to court staff that you're really nervous about what you're about to go through, find out when guardianship matters are scheduled and GO AND WATCH A FEW. You'll see how an attorney will help you present the facts of the case with keywords the Court.... shall we say... will understand. You'll also see that the Courts will not have time to care about personal emotional testimonies.

Then, once the process is clear, to the attorney:

"Hi, my name is XXXXX. My mother has been living with me for X years. I have two sisters who have taken control of her finances but somehow, my mom and I see very little of this money. I have POA and I have concerns about where much of this money has gone , but, most importantly, to care for her properly, I believe I need to see about becoming the Guardian of her Estate. I've completed many of the Court required forms. Can your firm help me?"

Going to Court will be an emotional challenge because this is very personal to you but this is routine Court work. The courts have much more experience with "where'd the money go" challenges than you do. They've seen people who are much more savvy than your JW sisters. Please remember, the Courts see people who are only interested in the financial welfare of a person's challenges but not their personal welfare ALL THE TIME. They will read through your sister's motivations VERY quickly. Be psychologically prepared for your sisters' anger to change direction REALLY fast to a "how could you do this to us???" mentality. They will use psychological warfare that will include your perceived desire to hurt the family. IGNORE IT. They will become the victims and they'll swear your mother, who is in your care, is somehow a victim of your actions as well. RELAX, the Courts have seen that too. Your sisters will have a tough time making the Courts understand why they left their poor mother in your care for years.

The freedom you'll feel when you can say, "Sorry, the Courts made the decision, not me" will be liberating.

Unless there's a piece I'm not aware of, I suspect much will go your way. :)

blindnomore

they want 500.00 a month from Moms Soc Sec check

Nice to want! Rather than give them $500, they should give mom $500 for ederly support.

There's good chance whatever stolen is long gone. I would call Police back and make a detailed police report on her.

NeverKnew

I just read Cagefighter's presentation (sorry... I was so caught up in Crimson's story I went right to "reply")... and I'm still giggling! Not AT ya' Cage, but your recommended words coupled with your name made it funny....

These types of attorneys want to make money but don't want to get involved with Jerry Springer level issues. People with crazy families tend to have family that's crazy enough to go after the other person's attorney when it's all said and done. That's left for the criminal defense attorneys. LOL

My recommendation is to find an attorney that will guide you through the process of getting guardianship (if you're eligible). The fact that you got punched and there's a police report to boot contributes to the reasoning for seeing about getting this done. It's important that you are perceived as the one making rational not emotional decisions.

Cage: I'll send you a PM. :)

AudeSapere

NeverKnew wrote: It's important that you are perceived as the one making rational not emotional decisions.

-Aude.

I Need Attorney Who Understands JW Mindset in FL

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