Divorced Atheist ex-JW Dad

by braincleaned 28 Replies latest jw experiences

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  nonjwspouse

  So encouraging to hear adultlike behavior concerning the kids from divorced parents! Keep in mind that since she is remarried to a JW ( Did you say that in a previous post?) that the cooperation now might not be so cooperative in the future. You sound very level headed, as does she at this point in time.

  A focus on not baptising must be reinforced frequently by you. Having them investigate questions on thier own and then have a discussion later is also very important. Get them to investigate, to read, to research. All critical thinkng skills. 'Also make sure the kids know what they like, what they plan to do, what they want out of life. It could be a fairly regular discussion about goals and how to achievce them, how to vary them when obsiticals arrive, not to give up.

  You have the opportunity to provide them with the tools needed to think critically. Such a golden gift for them.
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  jgnat

  Great job! Your children are of the age where they start making up their own mind about things. You are so right that your example is everything.
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  Junebuggie

  Wow Braincleaned !

  I just read your story; and I think you must be a wonderful father. I encourage you to keep your kids "thinking" for themselves. We all suffer consequences for our actions, ( which sometimes result from over-thinking something ) But, your children are probably thinking more on their own, and in secret than you know. Allowing them to see/hear both sides is a good thing...but you most certainly don't want them to choke on either WT thought or an alternative. They will learn how to process thier thoughts as they grow older and have more experience with others.

  I commend you for the wonderful father you are!
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  braincleaned

  Thank you all so much.

  Little update; my ex is already divorcing her new JW husband. It turned sour really fast.

  She also has since apologized to me, and since I never say "I told you so", we are in rather good terms.

  She has suffered enough as it is. She still hates my apostasy, but she thoroughly agrees that the kids should not get baptized until adults.

  I respect her for her reasonable stance. (I will be honest, my heart still beats for her, I know, I'm a pathetic romantic).

  In the process, my kids themselves refuse to get baptized, mainly because of the specter of disfellowshipping. I keep on teaching them the tools of critical thinking, while encouraging them to listen at the meetings and ask questions.

  So there is reasonable hope they won't go for the cult — and I wouldn't be too surprised if my ex wakes up some day.

  So that's the skinny on the latest news.

  Thank you ALL for you encouragements. Today was a big day for me... I came out 100%.

  For those who missed it, here's the link:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/experiences/265633/1/Time-to-take-my-mask-off#.UmQSCJTF0i9

  Much love and Peace to all of you!!!
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  Rufus T. Firefly

  Vincent, if your children are wise enough to agree to wait until they are adults [and I mean at least 25, not just turning 18] to make a decision about baptism, that is half the battle.

  JWs claim that everything they do is based on the examples left by Jesus and the first century Christians. Jesus, a perfect man, set the pattern for Christian baptism, waiting until he was 30 years old. Regarding the first century Christians, here is what the Watchtower said: Regarding first-century Christians, historian Augustus Neander states in his book General History of the Christian Religion and Church: “Baptism was administered at first only to adults, as men were accustomed to conceive baptism and faith as strictly connected.” (Watchtower 4/1/06, page 27)

  So, the WTS are not following theocratic order when they baptize miners as young as 8 years of age.

  Just once, I would like to see someone have a little fun with the congregation elders in this way: Go through all the steps to qualify for baptism, even meeting with the various elders and answering the questions for baptism. Then, once one has been pronounced "qualified for baptism," informing the elders of one's decision to wait to actually get baptized. My guess is that the reaction of the elders and the rest of the congregation would be all one would need to see their true nature.
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  braincleaned

  LOL! Indeed. With my kids the discourse is clear — if it was good enough for Jesus to be baptized at 30, it's good enough for them.
  
  I doesn't matter that JC's baptism had a different meaning. What matters is that he was considered mature enough at 30.
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  DeWandelaar

  That is a very interesting story Braincleaned... I have read some stuff on the wikipedia page as well and notice you are from Belgium originally? Do you speak dutch? Nice to have you here that's for sure :)
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  braincleaned

  My dad was Flemish (Dutch) and my mom waloon (French) — but we spoke French at home. So my mother language is French.
  Thank you for the kind words... happy to be here!
  
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  sylvlef

  just Read your posts...congratulations, you are wise and feel no ressentment or hate , even with the expériences and divorce provoked by the WT...

  I admire you for that...