I am a non-witness in love with one. help please

jarrod

I am a man who is in love with a witness. we have been in a relationship for 3 years full of guilt and fear and now it seems like it may be the end. Is it possible or is there a way for me to have my own belief and marry a JW? Tonight I have to go to my girlfriends house and talk with her father(a devout member). This is one of the most difficult days in my life. Can anyone help me???? I believe that he will try to convert me. I am happy with my beliefs and just want to be with her.
HELP. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVICE. icq# 37104547

larc

Jarrod,

This is awful short notice to give you thoughful advice. About this conversion thing. They know they can't convert you in one evening. Perhaps you could agree to look into their religion. This might buy you time to learn about particular beliefs and come back here for further advice about good ways of questioning those beliefs without alienating you girl friend or her father. That's the best I can do for now. I assume you are pressed for time, but if you could provide more detail, we could be of more assistance. What have the two of you discussed regarding religion over the last three years? This would be useful for us to know.

jarrod

thankyou for your reply Larc. You are right. This is short notice. The nature of our relationship is that she still lives at home and is 22years old. I am 27 and established. She is by virtue of the fact that she lives at home, still very active and has questioned her own faith because she believes that we may not be together. I am going to talk to her father out of respect for him and his religion. I am just wondering if there is such a thing in the religion where a member can marry a non-member and it would be ok. As far as I can tell the answer is no. Tonight could be the end and I am nervous. I just want tolerance and understanding. I don't know if they have that in their religon. I have done some research but I have not seen what I want to see.

waiting

Hey Jerrod,

Nice to meet you.

I just want tolerance and understanding.

Sorry, that would seem logical, but not to a faithful JW. Absolutely no interfaith. Her father will see you as a *worldly* man out to seduce his precious daughter away from God and God's people. You, poor man in love, are the enemy.

But if he's not adament in jw ways, then try to buy time. Your girlfriend is racked with guilt which is put upon us at birth to stay a jw. All outsiders are not evil - but we are taught that you will definitely, even unconsciously, try to "pull his daughter out of The Truth." And we believe this, especially for our children.

Hope it goes well, keep in touch.

waiting

larc

She wouldn't be shunned if she married you, I don't think, local customs may vary. They would show great tolerance for you it you showed interest in them. If you got baptized in their religion, they would show great intolerance for any expression of desagreement that would utter.

jarrod

Thankyou everybody for your time and helpful words. I am beginning to get a clearer picture of the religion. It is confusing to an outsider who has different but strong beliefs. I don't want to change her. I realize that she is a result of her religion and other life experiences. I like the fact that she has strong beliefs and if she decides to change those beliefs then it will be her decision. That is usually how it happens. I have never suggested it. I see what you mean by showing interest and I do have interest because I love her. You would like to believe that love is enough but in this case it may not be. Again thankyou for your advice and I will remember tonight. I just want hope.

amicus

In the last cong. I was associated with, the 18 year old daughter of an elder "ran away" with and then married an outsider. Of course the cong. was shocked, but I don't think she was treated any differently. Her husband wasn't opposed to her attending meetings and even attended a couple himself, but he really had no interest in becoming a dub himself. He was treated ok, too, as I recollect whenever he showed up.

RedhorseWoman

Jarrod, I don't want to give you false hope, but sometimes unions such as this do work out.

However, it is always difficult for the unbelieving mate. There will be constant, albeit subtle pressure on you to join "the truth". Your girlfriend will also have a rough time of it as a sister "unevenly yoked" with a non-believer, and her position in the congregation will most likely suffer for it.

There have been times where couples have been able to make a go of it, but the usual scenario is that you would convert to being a JW, or your girlfriend would become inactive.

Trying to maintain a divided household is difficult, and it takes two very strong people to handle it.

nelly136

let us know how you get on, bit late in the day now, good luck anyways,
nelly

mommy

Jarrod Welcome!
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, Love never fails. If the two of you have this kind of love, then you have no worries mate:)
Remember too that God is love, and he WANTS us to be happy. So if you can see above the weeds and keep your relationship strong, I see a happy future for you both.
Did I say easy? No it probably will be riddles in twists and turns and changing views, on family and society's part. But if you and your love stay together and work together, you will overcome:)
My hope and prayers are for you. And please keep us posted:)
mommy

I am a non-witness in love with one. help please

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