by Low-Key Lysmith 25 Replies latest jw friends
Hi Cuebert ... welcome , so many newbies coming on
I think I'll start an new welcome thread!
Looking forward to reading all your 'stuff'
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Thinking-not-believing ... glad you joined yesterday! Sorry I didn't
see you ... tell us more about yourself
clarity
Welcome to the board, Cuebert!!
From yer friendly neighborhood dragon/She-Devil...
Welcome Fellow Newbie!
Just got back from running the dog...eh' that's a lie, she runs me more than I run her. Woke up a bit late because sleep was illusive last night. Usually I'm up around 4:30, of my own choice - not a requirement. :) I love the early morning hours before the rest of the world wakes up. Especially this time of year when it's a bit chilly in SLC in the AM. I had a recurring book burning dream that always does a fantastic job of pissing me right off.
A little background: When I was all of 15 years old I met this very epic sort of fellow at a KH build who introduced me to these great books by Dean Koontz. Mind you, I loved to read from the very first time I picked up a book. I would read anything and everything, so by the time I was 15, this love of reading had grown to a voracious state. I just didn't want it to be WTS literature. After all, there's only so much religious mental constipation a teenage mind can stand. Epic Guy told me of Watchers and Lightning and after reading those I was on to anything else ever written by Koontz. Mother Dearest was fine with my reading habit because it kept me in the house, which is precisely where she wanted me. These books were a direct connection to him for me so when I wasn't allowed to see him I was able to find solace in their words. Forgive me, "wasn't allowed to see him" can also be classified as intermittent fits of controlling/psychotic/bipolar disorder behavior compliments of my mother and the same classification of fits by elders and bored housewives in our congregation who had nothing better to do than toy with the lives of two love struck teenagers. After more than 2 years of intense emotions and constant elder interference (I was in the back room of that damn KH pretty much every week), Epic Guy and I were finally torn apart by a series of events that are in no way easy to understand. Growing up, growing closer with him, love letters, poetry and all the other things that make life grand ceased to exist and I was left Koontz and his vast selection of characters and loveable dogs. About a year and a half after the last time I came into contact with Epic Guy, I was unable to continue to pretend I wanted to be any part of this maniacal organization they so creepily referred to as "The Truth" (insert full body shiver here). I sat mother dear down and informed her that I would not be going anymore and that it was not up for discussion. I was still living in her house and I was immediately and constantly under fire by a steady stream of elders (who had at this point accused me of everything under the sun - none of which I had actually done), pioneers, and anyone that she could find to "talk some sense in me". After a month of this with no progress she then did the unthinkable. She took all of my beloved books, all my letters, poems, stories, pictures and anything else she could find - and she set them on fire. Right there in the backyard. She had her own private book burning because she was convinced I had invited demons into her house. She then layed a series of insults and verbal abuse on me that I will never forget and kicked me out of her home. There are a lot of things I'll never understand about her, but this act...this act I just can't over. It's the only one that still gives me nightmares. Anyone else have the pleasure of having their life set on fire in front of them because you were thought to be "of the devil"?
Dear Cuebert, first of all Big Welcome ! its great to have you here, and all the newbies !!
My own "Mother dearest" did not do a Nazi bookburning on me, she confiscated a novel I was reading during the Service Meeting, it was inside my Bible, but I was too engrossed in reading the scriptures as I hoped it would seem, and she smelled a rat.
That incident didn't bother me, if I recall she gave me back the book, just told me never to do that again.
What I did find hurtfull, and I still do a full half-century later, was when I was laying in the sunshine in the garden , reading again, my love and appetite for books was and is as strong as yours, and I said I didn't want to go in F.S , she commanded me to get up, I refused, and she began to kick me ! her own child, I was about 10 or 11 then, I could never do that to one of my children, however the little buggers defied me or whatever.
After that I frequently ran off and didn't go to Meetings or F.S etc, I was always the rebel black sheep of the family.
It is a shame on people like my mother that their blind loyalty to a false religion overides their natural affection, it comes too from fear of "shame" because of what other members of the cult will think, much like the Muslims who kill their daughters for "bringing shame upon the family".
The only shame is born by people so blinded and perverted by their religion.
Welcome again, my fellow Libra verme ! (that is my idea of what bookworm should be in Latin).
A warm welcome to this wonderful forum.
Hey Phizzy,
Jesus. I'm sorry. That is absoultely unacceptable! I have NEVER understood the way people turn their backs on their children like the Dubs do.
There is so much hypocrisy there that's it's laughable. Well, it would be laughable if it weren't for the whole abusing children thing they've got going.
Libra vermes UNITE!
Cuebert--I can tell from your writing that you are a serious reader. I'm a reader also, and a writer. I wasn't raised a JW, and I was allowed to read anything I wanted. My mother would buy me sets of books for my birthdays, and I was allowed to read any of hers. She was also a reader, and her closet was just full of books. She liked Stephan King, so I duly traumatized myself. LOL
Because of that, I just couldn't bring myself to censor what my daughter read. I always felt like I was SUPPOSED to, but I just couldn't. I remembered what reading meant to me growing up, and it seemed wrong. She never took to the religion, and I left, so I'm glad I never toed the line.
I can't even imagine how I would have felt if my mother burned those things. Poems! Letters! Pictures? Horrible. Books are bad, but they can be replaced. How incredibly sad.
I do remember my mom got mad at me once, and actually cut up all my new clothes that I had worked all summer to pay for. THAT has never left me. So I kind of understand, although I think yours is worse.
Glad you're here. LKL makes me laugh.
He is hilarious. That is certain.
She cut up your clothes?!!! Can se say childish? I mean really, setting things on fire, kicking little kids, cutting up clothes........aren't these like the 1,2,3's of how to identify a sociopath?
Also, I am glad you escaped unharmed. Though......with less clothes.
Nah. She wasn't a sociopath. She always felt regret. Unfortunately she was bi-polar and never really got a diagnosis until the 90's. They treated her all wrong and aggravated the symptoms. My mom really was loving---she just had this disorder and it would get out of control. I could tell you the story of two moms, and you wouldn't think they were in the same world much less the same person. I know she wanted to do so much better, and she really carried a lot of guilt. It's a tough place to be in. But I still get pissed off when I remember the clothes fiasco!
I went to school (this happened in the morning) and I got a note that my mom was there and I had a dentist appointment she forgot about and was there to pick me up. She had actually come up to take me clothes shopping because she felt bad. She tried hard, but the clothes I bought were better than the replacements. But still, she tried.
