by God_Delusion 15 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Hi everyone,
If you're in trouble today, don't panic. All you need to do is yell out at the top of your voice, "JEHOVAH!"
No? Well, that's what many Jehovah's Witnesses believe. No really, they do! Read and share our latest article and post your experiences here on this thread. Let's get the ball rolling.
http://www.jehovahswitnessblog.com/jehovahs-witness-beliefs/calling-out-jehovahs-name/
PS. Calling out "Jehovah" when in the presence of smurfs does work wonders...
Next time I'm attacked by a teddy bear, I'll be sure to scream "Jehovah!"
You might also consider sneaking up on loved ones and, grabbing them by the shoulders, yelling "Jehovah" at the top of your lungs. If they jump out of their skin, accuse them of coming in contact with a cursed or possessed object. Tell them you're going to keep doing it until they stop jumping...just to make sure they're no longer affected.
I'd like to hear more stories though. Since Jehovah isn't actually the name of God, it shouldn't affect an evil spirit at all, but hey, do what works. Jump out of a plane without a parachute, scream...well, you know.
Lol. Too funny. I went a ride at Disneyland once with an elders daughter. It was called the Matterhorn. She was sitting in front me. Well the abomdomal snowman made his appearance she screamed Jehovah's name repeatedly... It was so funny.
JEHOVAH!!! JEHOVAH!!!
Nothin'... I guess I won't live forever in paradise cleaning up monkey shit. How horrible.
Shamus- what IS paradise to a monkey?
Kiss me and I'll tell you. :D
I'll KISS you MONKEY if you promise not to "RIP" my FACE-OFF!!!!!! Have a banana with whipped cream. But don't do anything weird like the polish initiation,
Well, I've been known to cry out "Oh God, Oh God" in the throes of passion, but never The Name.
I would never harm you..... :)
I want to be good so we can both farm forever in paradise, Rip. :D Imagine how wonderful it will be - no running water, no electricity, just farming. It would be like moving to Bolivia right now in the Amazon rain forest and starting over.
Anyone want to try it out and see how 'paradisic' it is. (not a word)... ;P
Monkey, I think paradisic is a word. I'm sure I saw it in the latest WT when there was new light revealed.
Para means :beside
Di means: die
sic means:sick
So all together it means we will not only get sick, but we will die!
BTW- The way you say you will never harm me frightens me more than TR..Lz!!!
