Princess and I have been posting (a couple weeks ago) about the ongoing 'soap opera' involving my mother, her fall, and where she will live. Three weeks ago, we put her in a group home. She is nearly 90, and falls a lot, but has an extremely sharp mind, and is a real "going concern". We have had some bad times between us, but have made peace in the last few weeks, and I am much happier now.
She was here for dinner last Wednesday, and broke down crying, and begged us to let her live here. Both of us felt we couldn't say no, after her emotional appeal to us. She is kind of in a lose, lose situation, unless she does move here, since she can't live in an apartment alone anymore, and really doesn't qualify to live in a group home, because she is fully recovered from her fall. Her only other option was assisted living, and she would have to share living quarters with another person, a stranger. Living here, she will still get her benefits, with daily assistance for cleaning and cooking, so that is WONDERFUL!!!!
My father lives with us now, and they are friends (they were married for 33 years........divorced in 1969), although he is in early Alzheimer's, and gets angry more than he ever did before. She can control Dad, and I am looking forward to having my life back. She told me to lock the door at the top of the stairs, and they will call me, if they need me for anything, and I can come down, if I can. Sounds good to me, but I know things can change. She is almost 90, and I know she won't live a lot longer, and I just don't want any
regrets one day.
I think it will be good for me, all around. She will keep Dad downstairs, and I have laid out ground rules, and she has agreed to everything. I told her the dubs won't be coming around here, to "the evil apostates" house, and she said she thought that was true, but she wants to be with her family, and that's more important to her. I asked what they will say about her living with Dad, and she said she would tell them it is a family matter, and not their concern. Shocking? At first she was thinking she might marry him, but I reminded her that she would lose her late husband's Social Security, and her benefits, so she scrapped that idea. His not being a witness isn't a concern anymore. (they talked about remarrying last Fall, and Dad was very insistent he will never be a JW again) Is there hope??
I also reminded her that we celebrate holidays, and she said she didn't care.
I wrote all of the above, yesterday. Today, things are getting interesting, as they are arguing over their stuff, and who is touching what stuff. It's funny. Mom is in a good mood, and happy. She is actually nice to be around. Dad is kind of surly, but he'll get over it. I haven't locked the door yet, and he is staying downstairs too. And yesterday afternoon, she DID have a visit from a ministerial servant and his 3 kids. They were so sweet to us, and he hugged me when they left. To be honest, this is a Romanian immigrant family, that have always treated us kindly, so I wasn't surprised. No one else has called or come though, since then.
In case you wonder, my downstairs, is the same floor space as my upstairs, with a full kitchen, bathroom, much bigger living room than upstairs, and two big bedrooms.
Just an update for all my friends, out there. "Pray for me"!!!
Marilyn (aka Mulan)
"No one can take advantage of you, without your permission." Ann Landers