Did you Believe

WildTurkey

As an active Jw, did you really ever believe that you would survive Armageddon? With me, I served as an elder, regular pioneer, was over the book room at District conventions, but I always felt it was not enough, I was never real sure I would survive the big day of God almighty!! The reason I ask y'all is, I don't think you can feel real sure in a organization that is legalistic and work orientated .

Satanus

I felt i didn't deserve it.

SS

flower

when i was a kid i did but once i got older i knew there was no way in hell i was going to make it. i succumed to self pleasure after all. i never actually knew what the 'unforgivable sin' was that was talked about but i was fairly certain that was it.

flower

Almost There

Feeling unworthy was the catalyst to my being freed from the Tower. Because of being afraid of the big A coming (in 1998 I was sure it was going to be here before the new millenium) and I knew I was surely set for destruction, being that I was married to a worldly man. And with being married to him I participated in some activities that are definitely not what spiritually strong people do.

So I fell into a deep depression. Which I now see was the best thing that happened to me. Because I was able to get therapy and have my eyes opened to what a horrific religion I had been raised in.

Almost There

lv4fer

I wasn't to sure. But deep down in my heart, I had doubts that only JW would survive armageddon. I've never been a really bad person and I never led an immoral life so I guess I figured I was doing what I could to the best of my ability and if that wasn't enough I didn't want to make it.

TR

WildTurkey,

I don't think you can feel real sure in a organization that is legalistic and work orientated .

I agree. I felt I wouldn't make it because I just didn't sacrifice enough personal responsibilities to do the "preaching work". I mean, I didn't sell everything and move to some third world country with my family like some others did.

TR- UADNA

I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way.
--Robert Frost, 1935

NameWithheld

Every time I 'abused' myself I knew I was a goner. This is one of the core reasons the WTBTS has such a strong hold on people is the massive guilt that's placed upon them. I'd safely bet that almost 100% of JWs feel 'not worthy' most of the time.

Do MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE is the mantra at every meeting.

BritBoy

I was convinced I was going to die due to the "wicked" thoughts I had and this was one of the reasons I left. I felt that seeing as though I was commiting adultry in my heart... I also decided I wanted to travel and do things BEFORE the big A arrived. For the first few years after leaving I would shit myself over things on the news. The funny thing is that a few days ago I thought, thank god there is a war in Afganistan as when all wars cease and the cry for peace and security happens then WHAM!! So even all these years later I still get shakey at times... guess that is what deep rooted cultish mind control does to you.

Britty xx

"My body is a Temple NOT an Amusement Park"

Elsewhere

I didn't think about "spiritual" things very much, it just was not and never has been in my nature. The few times that I managed to force myself (Book: 1984) to think in spiritual terms I concluded that I was a goner - no one could possibly live up to the standards set by the Org.

I eventually got tired of forcing myself to "believe" and DAed myself announcing that I was an atheist.

plmkrzy

I didn't think I would make it. Not spiritual enough. So I "Thought"
I feel more spiritual now then I ever have. The reason I went back in 1995 was to try and become more spirtitual and hopefully save my children. That was my motivation anyway at the time. It was during that time after really paying more attention to the "Brother-hood" I just could not believe Jehovah would overlook the hearts of my children but rather give prudence to the half hearted idiots, some who at times sat next to me during many meetings. Nope just don't buy it.
I still believe in god. I have not any scrolls in front of me to confirm his "True" name in order to satisfy those who argue over his name but I believe he knows whats in our hearts and that what counts.
I can't just chuck it all and choose to not believe in god at all.That for me anyway isn't even interesting.
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Elsewhere
I didn't think about "spiritual" things very much,
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I noticed this problem a lot at many Kingdom Halls i attended. Not everyone. But way more then there should have been. Lots a talk. No actions. It was like if you spend enough time TALKING about being spiritual then thats enough. Like putting in a time card. Ok I was spiritual 7 hours this week, I'm outa here till next week.

plmkrzy

"I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy,some sad"

styx

This one most definitely Happy

Did you Believe

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